Haven’t seen each other for a year. When Xu Jiru stood on the stage of "Qi Pa Shuo" again, his eyes were full of haggard and exhaustion, as if he was a different person.

As soon as she appeared in the audition, she said, "I am the old Qi Pa who was mentioned by Qi Pa last year", and then her eyes became wet.

When she spoke, she still did not have the courage to look into the audience's eyes. She still had not gotten over her past failures.

Seeing her shrinking, hesitant and haggard look, I felt sorry for her and a little distressed.

You know, when Xu Jiru first came into the public eye with the halo of "Tsinghua + Harvard", how many parents were excited about it!

Look, isn’t this our ultimate goal in raising children? Beautiful, smart, intellectual, confident... It seems that all the beautiful words are extremely appropriate to apply to her.

In addition to her excellent academic qualifications, Xu Jiru is also the image ambassador of the Youth Olympic Games, the champion of the National English Speech Contest, the runner-up of "I am a Speaker" in 2016... a perfect beauty academic master! What parent wouldn't be moved after seeing this?

This is the standard "other people's child", a little too good. Parents secretly wonder, how can they push their children harder to get closer to such academic masters?

Unfortunately, Xu Jiru quickly experienced a storm of public opinion attacks. From "whole network praised" to "whole network ridiculed", it seems to happen overnight.

But just one night, Xu Jiru spent a whole year recovering and is still living in failure.

Xu Jiru, who experienced cyber violence and depression, is back again. She wanted to regain her confidence on the stage of the seventh season of "Qi Pa Shuo", but her mentors did not give her a chance.

Where did Xu Jiru lose? As a parent, if you want to raise excellent children, what "pitfalls that Xu Jiru has fallen into" should you avoid?

When I saw Yang Mi and Cai Kangyong, the instructors at the same scene, I suddenly understood.

She is neither as sober as Yang Mi nor as affectionate as Cai Kangyong, nor does she have the high emotional intelligence of the two.

1.

Not as clear-headed as Yang Mi

Some people bow their heads forever after being slandered once. From then on, they no longer have the confidence and light in their eyes. They are defeated not by reality but by their own emotions.

But Yang Mi doesn’t. Her famous saying is: I quit my emotions.

She really did it. I have to say that Yang Mi, who has been on hot searches for a long time, is really "sober in the world".

Do you think the dense amount of black information will crush her? Do you think being questioned about fraudulent donations will crush her? Or will being ridiculed by the crowd for her acting skills crush her? The result was nothing. Yang Mi is like a strong fighter, becoming more and more courageous amidst the torrent of negative comments.

A strong heart requires constant self-strengthening. Yang Mi's self-confidence is deep in her bones, so she is indestructible.

Look at Xu Jiru, who has grown up with excellence. She has been working hard to pursue honors, and she has no time to temper her heart. Therefore, excellence is just her shell and her fortress.

All her self-confidence is based on "others' affirmation of her".

Once the affirmation turned into denial and the praise turned into ridicule, her inner world was shattered. Yes, the world of academic masters is so vulnerable. Because the fortress collapsed.

In this era, everyone is likely to encounter online violence. Xu Jiru did not encounter more or more violent trolls than Yang Mi, but she fell immediately and has been unable to recover since. But Yang Mi became more and more courageous as she fought, and she continued to be popular for more than ten years.

A woman with such a clear and strong heart is really admirable!

2.

Not as passionate as Cai Kangyong

Cai Kangyong is a very special being. He is in the center of the entertainment industry, but he has two selves. Also evil. On the one hand, it is lighthearted, funny and entertaining, on the other hand, it is profound and sharp, looking at the world with an innocent heart.

Li Dan had a conversation with Xu Zhiyuan in "Thirteen Invitations". He ranked the four mentors of Qi Pa Shuo, and Cai Kangyong was the one with the lowest "energy block". He said that Gao Xiaosong and Cai Kangyong were very similar. They were both children of aristocratic families and both read poetry and books. But their way of living and their attitude towards the world are completely different.

Li Dan prefers Cai Kangyong, and his evaluation of Cai Kangyong is very accurate:

Who doesn’t like and admire Cai Kangyong like this?

They are also elite and talented people. Why does everyone feel comfortable and willing to listen when Cai Kangyong opens his mouth?

When Xu Jiru speaks, everyone feels oppressed?

Because Xu Jiru has poor emotional ability.

Tsai Kangyong is so capable of love. He can always put himself in other people's shoes and project into other people's needs. He will always put himself in other people's shoes and understand their emotions. Even if the views he outputs are sharp, the way he expresses them is harmonious and he is never aggressive.

On the other hand, Xu Jiru is more than sharp but not passionate enough. Every point of view she outputs is from an elite perspective, so it is difficult for ordinary people to resonate.

Perhaps Xu Jiru learned the lesson from last year. When she regrouped and returned to the stage this year, she lowered herself very low, as if she was in the dust.

She hopes to "get others" by changing herself and cater to the public.

It can be seen that she is trying hard to change her position and think about ordinary people. She became gentler and less sharp. But what she said still failed to reach people's hearts, and no one even listened.

As an "ordinary person", Xu Jiru lost her self-confidence and herself.

She forgot what Cai Kangyong said, "Emotional intelligence means hoping to be able to handle yourself, not others, because others cannot."

3.

To hang out, you must have high emotional intelligence

Yang Mi and Cai Kangyong are both masters of emotional intelligence. While they don't embarrass others, they will never wrong themselves in order to cater to others.

Obviously, Xu Jiru has not learned this yet. She was competing with herself, and she lost because she "wronged herself."

The debate Xu Jiru prepared this year was the same one he lost last year. She really wanted to "stand up from where she fell." But seeing her condition, the mentor team seemed to foresee that her fate would be "where she falls, she will fall again."

I can also feel her caution through the screen . She tried her best to curb her sharpness, but her views were completely unconvincing to others.

Because everyone can see that it is not the real Xu Jiru. She wasn't willing to do it, and she couldn't do it.

Ma Dong and Cai Kangyong looked at Xu Jiru with "heartbroken" written all over their eyes. They tried their best to persuade her not to let her continue competing, which was actually the best protection for her.

It is a lucky thing that Xu Jiru stopped at the audition for "Qi Pa Shuo". After all, not everyone can become Yang Mi and Cai Kangyong.

Moreover, there is more than one track in life, so why stick to one stage of "Qi Pa Shuo"?

Perhaps Xu Jiru can truly be herself after getting out of the "Strange Story", and start an unknown life again with the heartache and blessings of her mentors. I wish the beauty can repair herself well and get back on her feet.

Finally, I would like to give the teachings of Teacher Cai Kangyong to everyone:

I wish that we will have more and better choices in the future, in the circle that suits us, Shine and heat.

I hope that we and our children can learn to be brave, strong, and be ourselves from these outstanding people.