1. When I was a child, I lacked love, so it was easy to refuse to accept myself, or give up on myself, or try to be perfect, thinking that I could get attention and care. If you always have a lot of doubts and rejection about yourself, I suggest you read Debbie's Accepting an Imperfect Self and do the exercises in the book seriously. Practice is far more important than understanding the truth, but it is difficult, but you must adjust your emotional and behavioral reactions due to lack of love through practice. In this regard, you can read The Brain and Emotional Life. Accept our resentment because we want the love of our parents, who are our closest relatives in this life, and there is nothing wrong with wanting their love. Be wary of your guilt. Some very good and kind children will have a strong sense of guilt because of their resentment and disobedience to their parents, which will hurt you. Find a reliable person and express your guilt; Or write it down yourself, don't hold it in your heart. The original intention of love is different from the act of love. Try to recall that the love we missed really didn't contain any love. Or is it loving in behavior but hurting people? If you can find love, accept it and face up to those hurts, you can really be soft-hearted. 4. When I was a child, the lack of love had the most profound influence on intimate relationship. If you find that there are always various problems in your adult love experience, you must stop and adjust yourself first. Otherwise, all kinds of love will bring new harm. If you want to get into a new relationship, please read The New Rule: How to Make Your Desire Fall in Love with You. This book may not really help you find a loved one, but following most of the suggestions in the book can at least help you avoid a bad relationship.