Last night, I suddenly heard a fierce quarrel in my sleep. At first, I thought it was a couple quarreling, but later I found out that this was because the child was not sleeping and Ma Bao was training the child.
I hear crying from time to time, and then I hear my mother yelling, You're crying again! ! Then came the sound of mom smashing things.
After a while, I finally calmed down, but later I couldn't sleep: How many parents silently regretted yelling at their children?
What changes have you made since you became a mother? Every time I see this question, what I want to say most is: Maybe my voice is getting louder!
Maybe you will regret yelling at your child, but you just don't understand why you couldn't control your emotions in the first place. After analyzing the psychology of countless treasure mothers yelling at their children, we have come to the following conclusion:
1) Ma Bao takes care of the baby alone: I don't just mean taking care of the baby alone here. I mean that even though Ma Bao is a stay-at-home mother, there is hardly anyone else around to help, including Bao Dad.
@ Xiaoxiao: When feeding the baby, changing diapers, and putting the baby to sleep, watching the husband snoring beside him, standing on the bedroom floor, can't sleep. At that moment, I felt like a ghost. At that moment, I really had the urge to jump.
Being a full-time nanny is not terrible. The terrible thing is that the man around you doesn't know whether it is cold or hot, and he doesn't know how to take care of the baby with you.
2) Can't manage emotions: Some people have a bad temper, and they can't help losing their temper at a trivial matter. Some people have high self-restraint and don't lose their temper easily. In fact, this is not innate, but the latter understands the importance of managing emotions.
If the ability to manage emotions is poor at ordinary times, parents usually can't manage their emotions well when they have children, because it is far more difficult to have children with them than expected. If you don't manage your emotions well, it's easy to vent your emotions on your children.
3) Anxiety about bringing a baby: Many people think that it is easy for women to bring a baby at home, and they can't understand why good people have anxiety.
In fact, it is not difficult to understand that women's hormones will change after giving birth, and it is difficult to get out of the pain of childbirth.
Taking care of a baby is more troublesome and laborious. Usually I can't sleep well for the first three years after giving birth to a baby. Long-term lack of sleep will affect a person's health.
1) may reflect your illness: you may not think deeply, but if you often yell at your children, it may really be a morbid phenomenon.
It reflects your mental health problems and needs to be adjusted in time.
2) Hurting children: Hurting children is not only a psychological shadow, but also a blow to children's IQ and self-confidence.
The most intuitive performance is that children are timid and introverted. This is one kind, and the other is that children also become grumpy and it is difficult to control their emotions.
Actually, we could have talked it over. Many times, we yell at our children not because of how big the mistake is, but because we can't control our emotions at that moment.
Once I wanted to take my baby downstairs for a walk. When I was changing clothes, he kept playing there, didn't actively cooperate to change clothes, and then began to cry.
Seeing him cry, I was even more angry and anxious, and I couldn't help yelling at him.
In fact, if you think about it carefully, there is absolutely no need to make a hullabaloo about. Yelling will scare the children to cry more, and you will be more angry. It was very distressing to see the poor appearance of the child afterwards.
1) Count one, two, three: Before you can't control your emotions, before you have any sense left, start counting. When you count, your brain has already started thinking.
Calculating time gives you a buffer to calm you down.
2) Use silence instead of yelling: Many times we yell because our children don't listen to us. But yelling is not the only way. You can try to remain calm and silent.
Children are obedient, sensible and polite not because of your scolding, but because they know their parents' bottom line, so sometimes a silent and calm refusal will be more effective.
3) Appropriate remedy: No one can stop yelling at the child at once, so it must be remedied in time after yelling at the child.
Pull your face down and apologize to the child: mom shouldn't have yelled at you like that just now!
I tried to do this. When I apologized to my child, he didn't blame me, but hugged me and cried. You see, the child actually loves us more than we love him.
Stop yelling and start now!