After ten years of marriage, my husband’s career has risen rapidly, and he has finally made it through. His life is getting better and better, and he has more and more money. However, I feel increasingly insecure, worrying about gains and losses all day long, and thinking wildly. ?A few days ago, netizen Xiaowei said this in a private message.

Xiaowei said: Since she and her husband got married, she quit her job and became a full-time housewife at home. Her thoughts every day are on raising children and taking care of the family. It has been ten years now.

Today, in the eyes of others, she is a happy woman. Because her husband has been promoted, she has finally made it through, going from hard times to the happy life she now has.

But in fact, Xiaowei not only did not feel happy, but also felt very insecure and fearful, because she was always told that men will become bad when they are rich. In addition, after her husband was promoted, he often During the whole time, I was away on inspections and business trips. In addition to sending her money on time every month, I had much less contact with her.

It is precisely because of these reasons that Xiaowei is particularly panicked now. She is afraid that her husband will really turn bad and abandon her. Xiaowei said that ten years of living as a full-time housewife had caused her to lose her ability to earn money and she did not know how to face life alone. Coupled with her aging appearance and out-of-shape figure, she became increasingly inferior. Feeling less and less safe.

Perhaps many people think: ?Money is a woman’s greatest sense of security?! But Xiaowei said that money could not give her a sense of security at all, and she did not care about money. Otherwise, she would not have married that poor husband.

In addition, after her children go to school, she has fewer things to worry about and more to think about. I have random thoughts every day and am almost hallucinating.

So Xiaowei asked me, she didn’t know what she should do? What should a woman do if she feels insecure?

There is something to say in Shili:

The key to a happy couple must be trust, so she should trust her husband enough instead of listening to rumors and worrying unfoundedly.

For Xiaowei, if she wants to find a sense of security, she must make changes and then slowly do the following things.

1. Exercise more and pay attention to maintenance.

To put it superficially, in fact, most women’s self-confidence comes from their appearance and figure, so more exercise and maintenance are very important to a woman’s sense of security.

It is a fact that men are completely visual animals, so no matter how beautiful a woman is at heart, she cannot completely give up on maintaining her appearance.

2. Develop your own hobbies and go out to make new friends.

The reason why housewives like Xiao Wei have random thoughts is because they have too much free time all day and have nothing to worry about, so they think wildly.

3. Communicate with your husband when you have something to do.

For Xiaowei, she has a big problem, that is, she is not confident in herself and trusts her husband. Therefore, if she wants to solve all this, she must communicate with her husband more and cannot be self-righteous. Random thoughts and then unfounded worries.

4. Do your own business.

A woman’s financial independence is her greatest sense of security. Because of financial ability, women’s superstructure is determined. For most women, once they become financially independent, they no longer feel insecure.

There is a classic saying in "Queen Joan": Insecurity is the most common gynecological disease in the world.

It is for this reason that if a man wants to have a happy love and marriage, he must solve the problem of women's lack of security.

Why are women generally more insecure than men?

In psychology, there is a word called "identity of self-worth".

Because men and women have received different education since childhood, they have different perceptions of their own value, so they think and solve problems in different ways.

When men are young, most of the education they receive is that men should strive for self-improvement. Men can only rely on themselves, otherwise they will not even be able to find a wife in the future. Therefore, for men, they usually strive for self-improvement. If there are deficiencies in any aspect, we will think about the reasons from ourselves, and then solve the problem. Once the problem is solved, we will naturally not feel uneasy.

Women are just the opposite of men. When women encounter problems since childhood, their parents will ask them to seek more help. Even in the future, they have to marry a good man and then change their lives. That’s it? Women It is better to marry well than to be born well? Therefore, when many women encounter problems, they will attribute the cause to external factors. Instead of looking for the cause within themselves, or even looking for solutions from the outside, they will naturally be unable to solve the problem.

When a problem cannot be solved, they will become emotional and even blame others. Naturally, they will lose their sense of security and feel like they are stuck in their throats.

From a male’s perspective: How can men give women more sense of security? ?

In the eyes of these men, the sense of security that women need is actually a kind of behavior, a manifestation of not knowing how to be satisfied.

It is precisely because of this misunderstanding that many men do not pay attention to and misunderstand women's lack of security.

What exactly is a woman’s sense of security?

This is what Zhang Xiaoxian said: Everyone wants a sense of security and uses various methods to get it, but no matter how hard we try, no matter how much we have, in the end we still feel insecure.

Only when you recognize the fact that everything in the world is impermanent, will you understand that security can never be sought outside, and it is never outside this world. It is the peace of your inner world. ?

Although the word "security" is a bit vague, it is not difficult for men to give women a sense of security. Men only need to prescribe the right medicine, and then the issue of women's security can be solved naturally.

There is no need to worry, because if you want to give women a sense of security, you only need to prescribe the right medicine according to their different needs.

Maslow's needs theory determines that people from different classes have different needs, so different girls, at different stages of emotional relationships, need different levels of security.

For example:

For a drifting woman from the North, what she relies on most is a stable residence, so her greatest sense of security is actually a house and a house. A stable home.

For a single, wealthy woman with a car and a house, what she lacks most must be dependence on her partner, so her greatest sense of security may be to have someone who loves her and loves her. A man who could take care of her when she was sick.

You see, different women have different insecurities. Therefore, before men can solve the problem of women’s sense of security, they must first understand what women’s needs are. Only in this way can they prescribe the right medicine.

For women, being trusted, being relied on, being cared about, and being valued are inherent needs that a person must have. Everyone will need them, and when these basic needs are When women cannot be satisfied, they will fall into a state of lack of security.

For men, if they really don’t know what kind of sense of security women lack, then they might as well communicate first, pay more attention, and use their heart to understand the sense of security that women lack.