uOn the road to success, the biggest enemy is not the lack of opportunities or shallow qualifications; the biggest enemy of success is the lack of control over one's emotions. When you are angry, you cannot contain your anger and discourage the surrounding collaborators; when you are depressed, you indulge your own malaise and waste many fleeting opportunities in vain. ?

Would you lose your temper due to common irrational factors in life? Do you know when to lose your temper and when not to lose your temper? o

If you were driving and someone passed by you and a roar surprised you, would you yell? Many people will lose their temper and even be unhappy for a day. Little did he know, the other person might have already attended the party happily. To resolve bad emotions, we might as well explain the situation at that time in a funny and gentle manner: "This guy must have been rushed by his wife to have a baby."?

Then, laugh it off. ?

On the contrary, is it always good to hold back your temper? For example, when your child is studying and the stereo next door is turned on very loudly, and you just tolerate it and don't assert your rights, what will be the result? In this situation, if we hold back our temper, we are allowing others to do things they shouldn't do. ?

There are many irrational factors in life. We often cannot control our emotions because of these irrational factors, leading to some undesirable consequences. In order to better control our emotions, we We should first analyze the common irrational factors in life. ?

The world is so big that each of us can only see, hear, feel, and experience very limited things in our lifetime. Not to mention the vastness of the ancient universe, even the tiny planet we are based on has made us admit repeatedly that life is limited and short. But even trivial things may become extremely complex and rich when projected into our spiritual world. ?

In life, we feel the things around us, form our concepts, make our evaluations, and make corresponding judgments and decisions, etc., all of which are carried out through our psychological world, as long as it is through If we use the subjective psychological world to understand and experience things, we will inevitably bias our understanding and judgment of things and be disturbed and affected by irrational factors. There are many factors that affect the accuracy of our cognition, such as limitations of knowledge and experience; deviations in cognitive concepts; limitations of the senses, etc. Among them, the most influential factor is emotional intervention and interference. ?

The common irrational factors in life are as follows: ?

(1) Jealousy?

Jealousy makes people’s hearts full of malice and hurt. If a person has jealousy in his life, he will live in a dark corner from then on. He will not be able to speak and act openly in the sun. Instead, he will gnash his teeth in the face of other people's success or advantages and feel heartache with hatred. The first thing a jealous person hurts is himself, because he spends his time, energy and life not on the positive progress of life, but on wasting it day after day. Jealousy can also make people depressed or full of hatred; if a person's heart becomes depressed or full of hatred, then he will be further and further away from success. ?

(2) Anger?

Anger makes people lose the opportunity to think rationally. On many occasions, people lose good opportunities to solve problems and conflicts because of uncontrollable anger. Moreover, impulsive anger may mean costly compensation later; in real life, the losses caused by anger may often be irreparable. You may lose a good friend and a group of customers; your image in the eyes of your leaders may be damaged, and others may begin to have doubts about your cooperation. ?

The worst consequence of anger is that people under the control of angry emotions often do not consider the dignity of others and seriously hurt the face of others. Damaging other people's material interests may not be a serious problem, but damaging other people's feelings and self-esteem is tantamount to cutting off an escape route and digging a trap for yourself.

If your dream is success, then anger is an unwelcome enemy that should be banished from your life. ?

(3) Fear?

Excessive worry may lead to fear, and fear makes people learn to escape and hide instead of meeting challenges and not being afraid of difficulties. Fear of something may come from a lack of confidence or low self-esteem. ?

A failed experience or an embarrassing encounter can make people fearful. For example, if he experiences an incoherent speech in public, he may be afraid of speaking from now on. This undoubtedly deprived him of many opportunities in life, and the chances of success that could have been obtained through speeches and lobbying would slip through his fingers. The generalization of fear can also lead to anxiety, which is even worse than fear. ?

Some people describe anxiety as "ants on a hot pot." This metaphor is quite accurate and vivid. The subtext of having fear without trying to control and overcome it is equivalent to acknowledging that one is a cowardly loser; a small failure on the road to success will deter him and stop him from moving forward. Then, he may face greater difficulties after success. How can he meet the challenge? ?

(4) Depression?

The most terrifying enemy on the road to success is depression. If other negative emotions are obstacles on the road to success, making it long and difficult, then depression is simply the opposite of success. ?

Overcoming other emotional problems may be just a matter of cultivation and skills, but overcoming depression is equivalent to a huge project. It requires a complete change of your nature: from cognition and attitude to personality and concepts. . ?

If a person who pursues success becomes depressed, the existing success will also leave him. Because success does not bring him joy or excitement, he is immersed in his own trivial experiences and cannot extricate himself. A depressed person is like a snail carrying a shell at any time, but the cocoon that binds him is invisible;?

A depressed person is like being in a lonely castle. He can't get out, and others can't get in. . The famous writer and depressive Franz Kafka once described his depression experience this way: "I am surrounded by two circles of soldiers, holding spears. The inner circle of soldiers is facing me, with the tip of the spear pointing at me; A circle of soldiers faced outside, with their spear points pointed outside. They surrounded me so airtight that I couldn't get out, and no one outside could get in. ?

(5) Nervous?

Moderate tension allows us to concentrate without being distracted, but excessive tension will make our long-term preparations in vain, and the words and gestures that we originally planned and planned will be forgotten when we are nervous. Excessive tension makes people become childish and ridiculous: their face turns pale or becomes red, their hands and lips are trembling, their heads are sweating, their heartbeats are pounding, they even feel palpitation, their breathing is rapid, and their speech is fragmented. The situation makes us like a lying child. The nervousness may only be due to lack of experience and lack of preparation. ?

A successful person may always be nervous; but the reason for success is because. He has learned how to control his nervousness. Lincoln, the most famous president in American history, was always nervous when speaking in public, but he knew how to control it and cover it up skillfully so that the audience would not notice it?

(6) Mania?

Mania can easily give people the illusion that they are energetic, contagious in their words and actions, and appear aggressive when they first come into contact with a manic person. You may have the wrong impression of how dynamic and moving he is; but as time goes by and your understanding deepens, you will find that Mania is actually just a blank sheet of paper, and his conversations are lacking in depth and his actions are lacking. Organized and planned; what he said will be forgotten in a blink of an eye, and the tasks assigned to him will not be taken seriously. Manic moods can easily make people intoxicated, because the manic person feels very good about himself; he will appear ambitious, It seems that he wants to follow Hou Yi and shoot down the last sun.

However, there is no example of a manic person being successful in the world, because mania and depression are actually two extreme emotions: mania is extreme excitement, while depression is extreme inhibition. In the classification of mental illness, there is a mental disorder called mania-depression. ?

(7) Suspicion?

Suspicion is a corrosive agent in interpersonal relationships. It can destroy any chance of success within reach. Shakespeare vividly and profoundly portrayed the corrosion of suspicion on success in his famous tragedy "Othello". Love becomes estranged because of suspicion, cooperation breaks up because of suspicion, and career falls apart because of suspicion. The reason for suspicion is lack of communication. ?

Many suspicions turn out to be misunderstandings. If communication is smooth, the mold of suspicion will have nowhere to grow. For those who are struggling on the road to success, suspicion will be a trap that may swallow up your entire grand career at any time. Because your suspicion may be exploited by others at any time, and you are still unaware of it. In fact, as long as you analyze it carefully, it is not difficult to find how unreasonable and full of flaws the suspicion is. ?

Another reason for suspicion is a lack of confidence in one's ability to control. Why the suspicion? Because they are worried that their own interests will be harmed, and this worry is obviously caused by a lack of confidence in their ability to control the situation. ?

So, how do we control the bad emotions caused by these irrational factors? Napoleon Hill told us the following five examples:?

1. Look at this matter from the perspective of an American president. President Machinli once restrained his anger in a situation where he could have been angry. This is enough to prove that he is a person who can get through difficult times. He had a very clever and simple way of overcoming an angry opponent. ?

Several representatives came to protest because the president appointed someone as a tax collection agent. The leader was a councilman, 6.2 feet tall, with a very rough temper. He cursed the president in an angry tone, almost using an insulting vocabulary. But the president remained silent and allowed him to vent his energy. Then the president said calmly: "Do you feel better now?" Then he went on to say: "With the words you said, you are really helpless. You know why I want to appoint someone, but I'll tell you anyway."?

The congressman's face immediately turned red and he wanted to apologize, but the president said with a smile: "No matter who it is. It's easy to get mad when you know the facts." Then he explained the facts. ?

President Ma Qinli’s calm and sarcastic reply was enough to make the congressman feel that he was wrong to use such crude language, and that this assignment may be the right one. His clever handling rendered the congressman completely helpless. ?

When the congressman went back to report the results of his negotiations, all he could say was: "Guys, I forgot what the president said, but he was right."?

The result of getting angry is always admitting that you are wrong. If you can restrain your anger and prove that you are right, your opponent will be powerless. If you act calmly, the other person will also calm down. The other party's method is to make you angry and do something unreasonable, making you regret it later. It would be foolish to fall into this trap. There is really no point in getting angry at someone who doesn't respond to your anger. ?

There is no better way to defeat an angry opponent than to stay calm. ?

Barrister Chuote believes that a casual approach is most effective. When examining a case, he would either put his feet up, lean back his chair, hold his head in his hands, or straighten his legs and put his hands in his pockets. He never gets excited, doesn't lose his temper, and doesn't seem to be struggling. He seemed to regard the trial as a big joke; there was no argument but a kind of drama. His sense of humor filled the courtroom with laughter. It was impossible to yell or get angry at him. ?

This calm method will be more effective if it can make the other party lose their temper. Isn’t it ridiculous that the other party wants to arouse your anger and win, but is irritated by your calm attitude? ?

2. Rockefeller stimulated the anger of lawyers.

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When Rockefeller was on trial in a certain case, he won the case because of his calm attitude and calm answers when facing the other party's passionate inquiries. The questioning lawyer seemed obviously malicious in his attitude. If Rockefeller was angry, it would be human nature, but he was too smart to be so reckless. ?

"Mr. Rockefeller, I want you to take out the letter I wrote to you one day!" The lawyer said in a very rough voice. The letter questioned many things about Mobil Oil that the lawyer had no legal right to question. ?

"Mr. Rockefeller, did you receive this letter?" the judge asked. ?

"I think so, Judge."?

"Did you reply to that letter?"?

"I think not."?

Then he brought out many other letters and read them out in the same way. ?

"Mr. Rockefeller, did you say you received all these letters?"?

"I think so, Judge."?

" You said you didn't reply to those letters?"?

"I guess I didn't, Judge."?

"Why didn't you reply to those letters? You know me, don't you? ?"?

The lawyer asked. ?

"Ah, of course! I have known you before!" ?

Rockefeller's reply was so obvious that the lawyer almost went crazy with anger. The whole court was completely silent. But Rockefeller sat there without moving at all. ?

Don’t become angry just because others are angry. Know that those are the times when you should be at peace. ?

Wittmore, chairman of the board of directors of First National Bank of Chicago, said: "If someone gets angry, I always feel that it will help my own status."?

If you When you feel like getting angry, first think about the consequences of such an outburst. If you know that getting angry will definitely be detrimental to your own interests, then it is best to restrain yourself, no matter how strenuous that self-control may be. ?

So, a person should never be angry? Neither is this. Many people think wrong about this. They give many examples to show that anger is bad and conclude that a person should never be angry. This is wrong. ?

That’s because we tend to misuse anger, but that doesn’t mean we will never get angry. Therefore, anger should depend on the timing. Anger has a very high value in life, and it is a good thing if used properly. ?

There are some great men of genius who have mastered others and overcome all forces that hindered their development, with the help of his angry temper. Passionate emotions contain power. ?

Railway king Mr. Hill is an example. When he is angry, everyone will flee. He can't stand incompetent people; mediocre people must avoid him. His anger often flares up against incompetent people, including lazy, mindless, and especially untrustworthy people. These people hurriedly took shelter before his violent wind, and he became quiet. He is very gentle and approachable to those who work hard;?

They will never encounter his angry wind, nor will they hear a harsh word from him. ?

When you are angry, remember this principle: you are doing something with a purpose. Do not suppress all behaviors, because oppression will only increase tension, which will make people unbearable. You have to do something, but it must be valuable. ?

Restraining anger does not mean suppressing anger, but channeling anger into an action to enhance one's career. ?

3. Anger turned Frey into a banker. ?

Frei, the general manager of the New York Stock Trading Bank, vented his anger and built a large bank. Once upon a time, he wanted to set up a Queens County bank on Long Island. He originally thought that the plan would go well, but one time when the manager of a big bank came to see him, he made a contemptuous remark, so his attitude changed a lot. Big transformation.

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This manager was very arrogant. Before leaving, he casually said something like this to Frey: "If you live long, maybe you can set up a bank here."?

“This sentence makes me so angry that I don’t know what to do.” Frey said: “If you live a long time, it means that I am sitting around waiting for the years to pass, waiting for my career to fall from the sky. This kind of After hearing the ridicule, I had to work hard. I was determined to defeat him, and finally I did it?

Four years later, my bank balance was 100%. He's twice as big!"?

Frey doesn't suppress anger, but directs it toward hard work, making his bank bigger than the bank of the person who insulted him. ?

Anger can be the driving force behind effort. A complete machine makes no sound when turning, but there is great power behind it. A weak and noisy machine may sound powerful from the outside, but this machine is so uncoordinated that if there is a lot of power behind it, it will be blown apart. ?

Similarly, if any difficulties occur, you often feel impatient and unmotivated to work. It is like stopping the machine temporarily (doing nothing at all). However, if you do nothing indefinitely, , will eventually be sent to the scrapyard like a worn-out car. ?

When you are angry, the most important thing is to properly guide the forward "qi" to avoid backlog and get out of hand in the future. When you want to make a machine, you must be able to use "qi", and you must use it quietly and effectively. But sometimes there is too much "gas" and the machine can't keep up, so a safety plug has to be used to block the gas. ?

Sometimes, people will have an unconscious and crazy explosion. This is because they only know how to suppress the anger in their hearts, but do not know how to prepare a closed piston. But barking, pulling hair, throwing plates, slamming doors, etc. are not good piston, because doing so will expose the unbearable side of our hearts, which will not only attract the attention and ridicule of others, but also make us stay. leaving irreparable scars. ?

President Ma Qinli has a quiet and controlled attitude in front of angry people. Is this a harmless safety piston, or is it the same example as mentioned above:?

One day, a congressman who behaved despicably said some unbearable words to President Ma Qinli. He said how loyal and unselfish he was; but in fact the president did know that his behavior was exactly the opposite. President Machinli gritted his teeth and held back his anger. It wasn't until the congressman left that he vented his anger. He cursed the congressman with such fury that he struck the table so hard that his friend who was present jumped up in surprise. President Machinli is like an enraged lion. ?

Calm-minded people are not always angry. They vent their anger in beneficial ways, and at the same time, there is a safety piston to stop it when it goes too far. ?

More than two hundred years ago, the poet Dryden adapted a Latin idiom into this: "You must beware of the anger of a patient person. The emotions that are too long and oppressed will be relaxed once they are relaxed." , will lead to the most violent outburst."?

A big businessman once said: "If I am angry, I will never let others know, I will quickly walk away and run upstairs. Go to the gym next to my office, put on boxing gloves, fight with my teacher, and beat out my anger. If the teacher is not around, I will beat the sandbag as hard as I can."?

What does this person think? That's right. When he was provoked, he did not stay still and tried to suppress his anger. He runs to a place where he can vent and fight with a boxer or a bag. It would be more to his liking if, as he struck, he imagined that the bag he struck was the head of the person who had aroused his anger. ?

4. Joseph Day cleverly diverted the anger of the masses. ?

Joseph Day, one of the world’s largest real estate agents, recounted how he used this principle to deal with the masses and avoid any physical damage to himself. ?

There was a group of people who were very angry with him.

They wanted to beat him, and if he hadn't been smart enough to understand them and prepare a way out for their anger, he would have been beaten into confusion. ?

Will he give a speech to stop their anger? He wouldn't do that. His approach was much smarter. ?

This time the government asked him to auction 1898 houses in Fairfield, near Camden, New Jersey. This town was built for shipyard workers during the war. ?

These workers who rented houses shouted loudly, saying that the government asked them to move here, and now it was driving them out. However, after investigation, among the 1898 families, only three moved there during the war. The rest were moved in automatically later. If you want to argue with them and point out their mistakes, the consequences will be obvious. Because arguing—even if you’re right—doesn’t make someone else’s anger go away. ?

Joseph Day started the auction one hour before the stipulated time, so as to avoid the climax of public anger during the auction. And he knew that the tenant in the house he had initially chosen was eager to buy it. ?

Joseph Day said: "I predict that the tenant will bid for it immediately, and he will definitely buy it. This will make him very happy, and the people will also be happy when they see it. This will eliminate the They are angry, because what they are angry about is that the government wants to drive them away?

“Everything went as I expected. The tenant got the house, and the crowd cheered, and I cheered too. In this way, they began to get a little angry. After the cheers ended, I took the lead in shouting: "Now let's all scold the auctioneer!"?

"At this time, it seemed like there were a dozen locomotives shouting out of anger. These thousands of The crowd was really angry. After the curse, everyone laughed again. I knew that if those people who wanted to hit me would carry me away, they would have to carry me on their shoulders. ."?

This group of people was originally very angry and planned to injure Joseph Day to vent their anger. ?

But Joseph Day was very smart and prepared another way for them to vent their anger. He prepared cheers, curses, and laughter for them. Not only did he not get hurt, but the house was auctioned in the shortest time. ?

But one thing that is very important is that the other outlets we prepare for venting must be harmless. ?

5. Hull vented his anger with red ink. ?

Woodhull, general manager of the American Banknote Company, came up with a great way to vent his anger. ?

When he was very young, he worked as a small clerk in a company. He was unhappy because others did not take him seriously and felt that advancement was slow. Many young people who work have this feeling, but if they show it too obviously, it will cause the people above them to be unhappy. What method did Woodhull use to vent his dissatisfaction? ?

He said: "There was a period when my feeling was so strong and gradually expanded that I felt I had to leave. But before I wrote my resignation letter, I went to get a With a pen and a bottle of red ink - because black ink was not enough to vent my fiery anger - I sat down and wrote out my judgments about every senior employee and manager in the company. Then I put the list away and told an old friend about my worries and indignation."?

The old friend asked Woodhull to bring another bottle of black ink and print out the names of these people. He can write out what he can do, and what he can do, and at the same time plan how to improve his status in ten years. ?

Then he compared the two lists of red and black ink with each other, and all his anger disappeared. ?

He calmly observed the facts and decided to continue doing it here. ?

"Whenever I couldn't help it anymore," Woodhull said, "I would sit down and write down everything I wanted to say but didn't dare to say. It was really a good idea. The safety piston. After I wrote it, I felt relieved. I kept the things I wrote away from others.

Year after year, others knew that I had a self-control ability. I advise people who are in charge of others, young or old, to learn to write this kind of red ink note to restrain themselves. ?

Adlitz, the electrical tycoon of New York, believes that it is sometimes good to write your anger in a letter, as it can relax your emotions. However, such a letter must be kept for one day before being sent. In particular, you need to have a considerable amount of time to think about this important question: "What will be the consequences of my angry words if I put them into practice?"?

Getting angry over unimportant things , can develop calmness when facing big events, and patience at this time is very important. ?

Billizzi, who has been the general manager of People's Gas Company for 30 years, has a strange temperament, that is, he easily loses his temper over trivial matters, but can remain calm about serious matters. One day he left a box of cigars in the carriage. After a while he remembered it and went back to look for it, but it was nowhere to be seen. ?

On the road to success, the biggest enemy is not the lack of opportunities or shallow qualifications; the biggest enemy of success is the lack of control over one's emotions. When you are angry, you cannot contain your anger and discourage the surrounding collaborators; when you are depressed, you indulge your own malaise and waste many fleeting opportunities in vain. ?

Would you lose your temper due to common irrational factors in life? Do you know when to lose your temper and when not to lose your temper? ?

If you were driving and someone passed by you and a roar surprised you, would you yell? Many people will lose their temper and even be unhappy for a day. Little did he know, the other person might have already attended the party happily. To resolve bad emotions, we might as well explain the situation at that time in a funny and gentle manner: "This guy must have been rushed by his wife to have a baby."?

Then, laugh it off. ?

On the contrary, is it always good to hold back your temper? For example, when your child is studying and the stereo next door is turned on very loudly, and you just tolerate it and don't assert your rights, what will be the result? In this situation, if we hold back our temper, we are allowing others to do things they shouldn't do. ?

There are many irrational factors in life. We often cannot control our emotions because of these irrational factors, leading to some undesirable consequences. In order to better control our emotions, we We should first analyze the common irrational factors in life. ?

The world is so big that each of us can only see, hear, feel, and experience very limited things in our lifetime. Not to mention the vastness of the ancient universe, even the tiny planet we are based on has made us admit repeatedly that life is limited and short. But even trivial things may become extremely complex and rich when projected into our spiritual world. ?

In life, we feel the things around us, form our concepts, make our evaluations, and make corresponding judgments and decisions, etc., all of which are carried out through our psychological world, as long as it is through If we use the subjective psychological world to understand and experience things, we will inevitably bias our understanding and judgment of things and be disturbed and affected by irrational factors. There are many factors that affect the accuracy of our cognition, such as limitations of knowledge and experience; deviations in cognitive concepts; limitations of the senses, etc. Among them, the most influential factor is emotional intervention and interference. ?

The common irrational factors in life are as follows: ?

(1) Jealousy?

Jealousy makes people’s hearts full of malice and hurt. If a person has jealousy in his life, he will live in a dark corner from then on. He will not be able to speak and act openly in the sun. Instead, he will gnash his teeth in the face of other people's success or advantages and feel heartache with hatred. The first thing a jealous person hurts is himself, because he spends his time, energy and life not on the positive progress of life, but on wasting it day after day. Jealousy can also make people depressed or full of hatred; if a person's heart becomes depressed or full of hatred, then he will be further and further away from success.

?

(2) Anger?

Anger makes people lose the opportunity to think rationally. On many occasions, people lose good opportunities to solve problems and conflicts because of uncontrollable anger. Moreover, impulsive anger may mean costly compensation later; in real life, the losses caused by anger may often be irreparable. You may lose a good friend and a group of customers; your image in the eyes of your leaders may be damaged, and others may begin to have doubts about your cooperation. ?

The worst consequence of anger is that people under the control of angry emotions often do not consider the dignity of others and seriously hurt the face of others. Damaging other people's material interests may not be a serious problem, but damaging other people's feelings and self-esteem is tantamount to cutting off an escape route and digging a trap for yourself. If your dream is success, then anger is an unwelcome enemy that should be banished from your life. ?

(3) Fear?

Excessive worry may lead to fear, and fear makes people learn to escape and hide instead of meeting challenges and not being afraid of difficulties. Fear of something may come from a lack of confidence or low self-esteem. ?

A failed experience or an embarrassing encounter can make people fearful. For example, if he experiences an incoherent speech in public, he may be afraid of speaking from now on. This undoubtedly deprived him of many opportunities in life, and the chances of success that could have been obtained through speeches and lobbying would slip through his fingers. The generalization of fear can also lead to anxiety, which is even worse than fear. ?

Some people describe anxiety as "ants on a hot pot." This metaphor is quite accurate and vivid. The subtext of having fear without trying to control and overcome it is equivalent to acknowledging that one is a cowardly loser; a small failure on the road to success will deter him and stop him from moving forward. Then, he may face greater difficulties after success. How can he meet the challenge? ?