/p>

2. "A BMW is driving towards you at a speed of 280 yards, followed by a Mercedes-Benz racing, slow down, and behind it is a tractor driving more aggressively, with the left lane change light on, he I want to overtake!"

3. "That's Chen Yuanyuan, you? (Looking at chest) Chen Bianbian!"

4. "Let's agree first. Is it five?”

5. “Silent as a virgin but as active as a mad rabbit”

6. Accidental, absolutely accidental, very accidental, too accidental

7. Your eyes are clear and moving, your hands are gentle and delicate, your heart is crystal clear;

Your arms are powerful, your chest is broad and stalwart, and your skin is invulnerable. .

8. Don’t compare yourself to me, I’m too lazy to compare with you.

9. I will spray you to death with a mouthful of salt soda.

10. Tell everyone what you are unhappy about to make everyone happy

11. Bus driver : "Hey, either put in coins, swipe your card, or get out, whatever you want to watch."

Bus driver: "It's true~ I can't even afford the bus, and I dare to pretend to be The Matrix.

”

12. When your mother gave birth to you, she must have thrown away the person and raised the placenta.

13. The person riding the white horse may not be a prince, it may also be Tang Monk...

The person who can burn incense may not be a monk, it may also be a panda...

The person with tattoos is not necessarily a bad person, it may be Yue Fei~

Can fly It may not be a big bird, it may also be Li Ning

14. Never hang yourself from a tree, try hanging from several surrounding trees several times....

15. I am a born actor, my eyes have been round since I saw a beautiful girl since I was a child

16. Passerby: I fell in love with my colleague Azhi

Passerby: But I didn’t tell him

Passerby: I told another colleague of mine, Ah Hao

Passerby: Ah Hao promised me not to tell others

Passerby: But my colleague Ade told me

Passerby: Ah Hao secretly told another colleague, A Lin

Passerby: A Lin had an affair with Ah Zhi’s former girlfriend Alan is very familiar with her

Passerby: I'm afraid A-Lin will tell Alan

Passerby: Then Alan will go back and tell Azhi

Passerby: This will make me very embarrassed< /p>

Passerby: Fortunately, Alan is in love with Ade now

Passerby: So I went to find Ade to help me solve this problem

Passerby: Ade and I said Alan and him had broken up

Passerby: He is now on good terms with A-Lin and asked me to go find A-Lin

Passer-by: But A-Lin told me that Ah Hao actually has no Didn’t say anything to him

Passerby: Now that I’m fainted, who should I believe?

Zeng Xiaoxian: Aou

Passerby: What I said is Ah Zhi is not A Ou, A Ou is my colleague from another department

Passerby: A Ou is A Lin’s younger brother

Passerby: But I can’t tell him about the person I like. He’s your brother’s girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend

Passer-by: This makes the relationship even more confusing

Zeng Xiaoxian: Ah sneeze

Passer-by: Ah T? < /p>

Passerby: How do you know there is a colleague named Ah T in our company?

Passerby: He has a grudge against A-Lin, maybe because of his crush on A-Lan

17. Guangu: Dear, what should we eat today?

Xiaoxue: Whatever.

Guangu: Let’s have hot pot, then?

Xiaoxue: No, you will get acne on your face if you eat hot pot.

Guangu: How about eating Sichuan food?

Xiaoxue: I just ate Sichuan food yesterday. Are you going to eat it again today?

Guangu: Then let’s eat seafood?

Xiaoxue: The seafood is not good, it will cause diarrhea.

Guangu: So what do you want to eat?

Xiaoxue: Whatever.

Guangu: e!~~~Then let’s not eat for now, let’s do something else.

Xiaoxue: All right.

Sekiya: Let’s watch a movie then? I haven’t watched a movie in a long time.

Xiaoxue: What’s so good about the movie? It’s just a waste of time.

Sekiya: What about bowling? Movement movement.

Xiaoxue: What kind of exercise is there on a hot day? Aren’t you tired?

Guangu: o!~~~~Then let’s have a few more cups of coffee.

Xiaoxue: ei~~~Drinking coffee affects sleep.

Guangu: So what do you want?

Xiaoxue: All right.

Sekiya: Then let’s just go home.

Xiaoxue: (laughs, then takes the bag) Look at you.

Guangu: Let’s take the bus and I’ll see you off.

Xiaoxue: The bus is dirty and crowded, so let’s forget it.

Guangu: How about taking a taxi?

Xiaoxue: It’s not cost-effective to take such a short distance.

Guangu: Well, let’s take a walk.

Xiaoxue: Why don’t you go for a walk on an empty stomach?

Sekiya: So what do you want?

Xiaoxue: It’s up to you.

Guangu: Let’s eat first.

Xiaoxue: Whatever.

Guangu: What to eat?

Xiaoxue: All right.

Guangu: ~·! #·#

18. "The two of them are only separated by a wall and have never met. Because one of them always walks to the left and the other always takes the elevator."

19 ."Hello, I want a rape chicken popcorn"

20. Hu Yifei: "Forgive him? Humph, it is God's business to forgive him, and my mission is to send her to see God!" < /p>

21. Guangu: "The hotel's phone number is 8 digits. Just now you pressed 11 digits."

Zi Qiao: "In China, any phone call must be made in Add 110 in front. "

...

Police: (Knocking on the door) "Who called the police?"

Guan Gu: "I was the one who ordered the takeout."

22. Wanyu: "My hair has gone without a trace, and the dandruff is even more outstanding!"

Wanyu: "In a world where the five fingers cannot see the dark night ..."

23. Yifei: Didn't your mother throw it away when she gave birth to you? The placenta grew up

24. The broken plate price is only 998. !

I really want to slap my size 37 shoes on your size 42 face!

25. Hu Yifei: Hey, how was Wanyu’s interview?

Lin Wanyu: It went smoothly!

Lu Zhanbo: Does the examiner like you? What is his attitude toward you?

Lin Wanyu: Well, I can’t tell clearly. It felt like they were suppressed by me and couldn’t close their mouths.

Hu Yifei: Let me just say, beauty is invincible. How did you do it?

Lin Wanyu: When they asked me what my ideals were, I said I wanted to own a small house.

Lu Zhanbo: Wow, what a shocking ideal!

Lin Wanyu: Maybe my house is different from others. My ideal house, the roof is made of marzipan slices,

the chimney is made of roasted pork rolls, the bed is made of honey red date cake, the pillows are all made of crystal shrimp dumplings, and the rain is made of raisins

, lollipops are falling under the snow, small soup dumplings can be seen everywhere outside the house, everything in the river is preserved egg and lean meat porridge,

Everything in the river is full of cooked food flying in the sky. Yes, I hummed, and they automatically lined up and jumped into my mouth. The clouds in the sky were marshmallows, and the stones on the ground were braised pork.

26. Hu Yifei: I’m doing the horoscope test again.

Lin Wanyu: This is submitting a resume.

Hu Yifei: It’s obviously just doing the questions.

Lin Wanyu: This is called a personality test. I submitted my resume to many companies and had to do a set of test questions before the interview.

Lu Zhanbo: This is very popular in foreign companies. It is said that it can detect people's inner personality to see if they are suitable for that position.

Hu Yifei: Foreigners are really troublesome. Does personality have much to do with the position?

Lu Zhanbo: Of course it does matter. Nowadays, everything can be faked, certificates can be faked, degrees can be faked, but character can't be faked.

Character can't be faked.

Lin Wanyu: But some questions are so strange.

Lu Zhanbo: Normally, these questions are all asked by psychologists. You may find them strange at first glance, but they can truly reflect your outlook on life and values. They are very useful. Learned.

Lin Wanyu: Look at this question and tell us what the most similarities between mosquitoes and tigers are.

Lu Zhanbo: Well, it depends on your way of thinking, whether it is concrete or abstract.

Lin Wanyu: What about this question: If your father and Jay Chou got into a fight, who would you help? A. Help your father; B. Help Zhou Jie

Lun; C. Watch them fight; D. Call the TV station.

Lu Zhanbo: Well, this means that the boss of their company’s human resources department is a fan of Jay Chou, and his father was beaten

Lin Wanyu: Have you ever encountered such perverted questions when you were looking for a job?

Lu Zhanbo: Yes, there is a question like this: You have two pairs of underwear, one is dirty but not washed, and one is washed but not dry. Which pair do you

wear?

Hu Yifei: Is this a question to test your values?

Lin Wanyu: How disgusting. I despise you no matter what you wear!

Lu Zhanbo: Humph, I didn’t choose either of them. I won’t wear them anymore. It’s so cool! Hehehehe~~~

Lin Wanyu: Hehehehe~~~ I despise you.

Zeng Xiaoxian: Everyone, how do you think I look today?

Lin Wanyu: Very handsome!

Hu Yifei: Well, not bad, quite like a person.

Zeng Xiaoxian: This may be a turning point that changes my life.

Lu Zhanbo: Teacher Zeng, you are also going for the interview!

Zeng Xiaoxian: Pretty much. I heard through the grapevine that a new column on the TV station is looking for a host. I also learned from my childhood sources that the producer of this column is called Lisa Rong. Think about it, I finally have the opportunity to enter the TV industry!

Hu Yifei: Wait, wait, your logic is a bit jumpy. If you heard these few words from the gossip, you can change your career

Become a TV host?

Zeng Xiaoxian: Of course not enough. According to the latest gossip, Lisa Rong is coming to our radio station to look for a host. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Maybe she will change me. A lifetime person.

Lin Wanyu: Teacher Zeng, let me ask you a question. Well, if your father and Lisa Rong got into a fight, who would you help?

Zeng Xiaoxian:...

27. Yifei: As the saying goes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so what is in the eye of beauty?

Thank you: (thinking for a while) Eye shit!

28. Xiaoxian: I am not a casual person!

Yifei: You are not a human being if you act casually!

29. Xiaoxian: I allow you to walk around in my world, but I will never allow you to run around in my world!

30. Zhanbo: Sister, if someone hurts you deeply, how long will it take for you to forgive him?

Yifei: Forgive him? Forgiving him is a matter for God, and my task is to send him to see God!

31. Meijia: My aunt came to see me in advance. My waist is very sore and my stomach feels uncomfortable.

Guangu: Meijia, your aunt is so kind to you. If she doesn’t sleep in my room today, I’ll sleep on the sofa

Wanyu: Guangu, the aunt you’re talking about is not the same thing as what she’s talking about

Guangu: Oh, Meijia Are there many aunts? Your grandma is really good at giving birth. I only have one, but I have three aunts!