Aaron Carr said: "Everyone who quits smoking knows the reasons for quitting. The problem is on the second day, the tenth day, and the ten thousandth day, when your reasons are not so sufficient. , if you happen to have a cigarette on hand, you will suddenly return to your previous state."
Is this phenomenon too common? Countless times we declare our “grand plans” with firmness and determination, only to be discouraged soon after. In the end, plans are just plans, and very few of them can be realized.
Many people have been struggling in this cycle of high and low throughout their lives, and they think that those who succeed must go through the same difficulties and dangers as learning from the West. But Zhou Ling, the author of "Cognition Driven", tells us that as long as we improve our cognition, success is not that difficult, and it is even natural. He himself is such an achiever.
When Zhou Ling published his last book "Cognitive Awakening", he was still a newbie in writing. Unexpectedly, the book became very popular as soon as it came out. It was reprinted 15 times in 11 months and the sales volume was 15 times. Breaking through 150,000 copies.
This is obviously not because he is handsome, but because the book he wrote is indeed useful to everyone and has generated value.
In Zhou Ling's second book "Cognition Driven", the first thing he mentioned is value: We are willing to buy a book, study a course, and make a friend because there is The meaning of value exchange.
The law of value is equivalent exchange, so the key to changing yourself is to create value. Only when the value we create is large enough can we be strongly needed by others, participate in larger social exchanges, and receive feedback from others.
The book "Han Jie" says that even close lovers should regard each other as "partners" in the family. Everyone has one or two strengths that can be closely connected through reciprocal value exchange. Once the balance is out of balance, it is easy to cause conflicts.
This is true among family members, and even more so in other relationships.
For example, when Zhou Ling writes an article, he will wonder: Will this article still have reading value in three to five years? If not, then there is no need to write it.
It can be seen that if we take this as a guideline in everything, put ourselves in the position of the exchanger, have an "altruistic heart", and produce things that are useful to others, we can enjoy the benefits of the law of value exchange.
If nothing else, when we browse our mobile phones, are we all willing to pay attention to those who can provide useful information and speak interesting words? Not only do you take the initiative to pay attention, but you are even willing to pay for support and consciously do word-of-mouth advertising?
On the other hand, when we look at our own account, not only do few people pay attention to it, but we often lose followers. Why is this? To put it bluntly, isn’t it because the value we can provide is too little and others are unwilling to “pay the bill”?
Once we can cognitively shift "I want" to "I can give", many unrealistic delusions will suddenly disappear. If you can't help others, why should others waste their time, money and feelings on you?
Therefore, to be altruistic is to be self-interested. "If you bloom, the breeze will come." This is the most real law of how the world operates, from individuals to countries.
Face this law squarely, change the vision and pattern of life, and constantly use new knowledge to enhance your own value. The more you can produce and give to others, the more you will ultimately receive.
Value exchange is the unchanging underlying logic of this society. The sooner we realize it, the better.
When they hear "altruism is self-interest," many people still stop at the literal meaning and think that the purpose of altruism is self-interest, which is not true altruism.
There is a famous saying in Kazuo Inamori's "Heart" that runs throughout the book: "All success comes down to altruism." He always asked himself repeatedly at work: I am doing this business for Is it the national interest, or is it just for corporate and personal selfishness?
The essence of altruism is love. The more deeply you can love yourself, others, and the world, the more powerful it will be.
You must know that according to the characteristics of the brain, the simpler and more direct things that can be quickly determined are what the brain likes, so human nature is self-interested.
However, it is weak to only pursue personal interests. Selfish desires are like fast-moving consumer goods, which can easily make people short-sighted, give up easily, and cannot persist for a long time.
Look at those revolutionary martyrs who would rather die than surrender, and look at the medical workers who are retrograde during the COVID-19 epidemic today. How could they have done all this without love and faith that transcended selfish desires.
Perhaps there are no such great things to do in the lives of us ordinary people. But similarly, if you can understand the essence of "altruism" and not be a slave to your brain's instinct, you can turn improving your own value from quality development into a mission. Understand that giving is happier than receiving, gain a new sense of accomplishment and pride, and support yourself to go further.
Since 2019, the author Zhou Ling has advocated to his readers: "In your life, you must take the initiative to do at least one thing that is useful to others." But many people feel that the goal is too big I can't do it myself.
Is it really impossible? In 1943, IBM founder Thomas Watson said: "I think the world market demand for computers is about five." This statement seems so ridiculous today, but it came from the elites of the time. There are many other similar remarks.
It can be seen that rational thinking that is sufficiently realistic is a double-edged sword. It has a sharp side for solving problems, but also a side that is prone to worry and self-limitation.
When Kazuo Inamori faces a difficult job, he will consult with people who are "less rational and more emotional". The reason is simple. He doesn't want overly rational people to pour cold water on him, but needs emotional approval and encouragement.
Too much success is due to having dreams. Success requires not only the sharpness of rational thinking, but also openness, romance and courage. Use them to replace the side that limits us, so that our lives will not be limited. at its mercy.
Kazuo Inamori skillfully uses "metacognition" to control this double-edged sword, keeping it sharp and helping us accomplish things.
With an altruistic sense of mission and fearless enthusiasm, we can tell ourselves at any time that nothing is impossible.
Tony Robbins, the master of potential, said that people’s driving forces are divided into two types: avoiding pain and chasing happiness. The characteristic of the brain is to seek advantages and avoid disadvantages, so pain and joy are our bottom driving forces.
The main reason why we can’t persist in doing things is that we don’t know the mechanism behind it and do it only by willpower, so we fail repeatedly.
Take the smoking cessation mentioned at the beginning of this article as an example. Relying on willpower alone makes us feel that we need to make a lot of sacrifices, which is daunting. Because human beings have "negative preferences", once they think about quitting smoking, they feel very hard and it is a deprivation of rights. A goal without seeing specific benefits cannot provide enough support, and of course it cannot be sustained.
So let’s use another method, using the underlying driving force to analyze how uneconomical smoking is and at the same time look for the happiness that quitting smoking brings to us?
Imagine that quitting smoking can make us feel refreshed and breath fresh. We don’t have to feel embarrassed and uneasy in a smoke-free environment. We gain physical and mental liberation. We also gain the closeness and love of the person we like, and we can also save a fortune. Do you have more motivation to travel if you have more money?
As long as you change your perspective, those resistances seem to become smaller. Similarly, we can apply this idea to our study work.
What people fear most is the lack of metacognitive ability of self-awareness, so we must pay special attention to the pain and joy in life and find this driving force. Think about your most pressing problems and pain points at the moment, and shift from escaping passive pain to pursuing active happiness, so that you can continue to be blessed and move forward.
Have you noticed? When we heard someone’s introduction, there is often a saying of “XX family”, as if people born in such families are born with ancestral specialties. No wonder everyone thinks so, but in fact it is not their genes that affect them, but the influence of their family environment, because there are mirror neurons in the human brain.
In a specific environment, people come into contact with every day, things they see, sounds they hear, and various senses receive multi-dimensional information. This huge amount of information forms our subconscious. Thus first mobilizing our instinctive impulses and emotional desires. Leading us to imitate unconsciously.
Nowadays, many parents are worried about their children's learning. Why do they give both soft and hard measures to children who just don't like to study and don't want to do homework?
That’s because the child’s mirror neurons will only be activated when the parent performs the corresponding behavior, so ten thousand sentences is not as good as one real demonstration by oneself.
Why is Li Jiaqi’s live broadcast of selling goods so popular? It's because he put so much lipstick on his mouth to show it in person.
Similarly, interest in learning is usually not attracted by the skill itself, but is aroused when seeing real people practice it.
Through the setting of the environment, the experience of seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, and touching with our senses makes people yearn for it subtly. Creating an environment and subconscious mind is much less laborious and more effective than making huge efforts to overcome difficulties.
Improving cognition means learning to use skillfully. Zhou Ling said that when he first started writing, he never thought that he would publish a book three years later, but now he has published his second book. His own success and everyone's enthusiastic feedback made him more convinced that knowledge can create value, and value can change destiny, thereby truly eliminating anxiety and gaining happiness in life.
"Cognitive Drive" is to use the underlying laws to activate cognitive drive and make your efforts truly effective.