First, the group introduction
Tua zodiac group
Introduction to group songs:
It's frustrating, Squidward Tentacles.
From psychological quality and life
00:0003: 15
Second, the debate session.
Continue to argue:
Forbearance and frankness are both means to solve interpersonal relationships and are used in different situations. Excessive forbearance and frankness are not used to establish interpersonal relationships, so we are only discussing which method is more suitable for most situations here.
Forbearance means hiding contradictions and diluting them through time; But after considering others and reality, forbearance is a kind of generosity and humility. Ceng Yun in Tao Te Ching said, "A gentleman is as good as water, and water is better than everything.". Forbearance is not only a kind of self-cultivation, but also a kind of demeanor in interpersonal communication. When encountering contradictions, it is not only more conducive to eliminating contradictions, but also to gaining the respect of the other party and establishing better interpersonal relationships.
Forbearance can give one or both parties enough time to think. As the saying goes, "impulse is the devil." In the process of contradictions and quarrels, both sides bluntly pointed out each other's shortcomings. First, it hurts feelings and causes discomfort and loss of face to the other party. Second, it is easy to cause violent quarrels, which may lead to terrible consequences; Third, frankly speaking, it is the right of others to correct or not, which may not solve the contradiction. If you choose to "step back" and give yourself or both sides time and space to think, you can have a better way to deal with the problem, which not only eases interpersonal relationships, but also avoids sharp conflicts between the two sides.
Tolerance will also be the solution after the contradiction occurs. Even if we are honest with each other and reach a consensus, one or both parties will make some forbearing concessions. Only in this way can contradictions be eliminated. Only you can change yourself. Contradiction should be to make yourself aware of your mistakes, and you should reflect. Therefore, the most important thing is to endure.
A frank debate:
Frank didn't mean impulsive. For example, if you want to kindly remind a classmate with bad breath, you can tell him offline, remind him in a humorous way, and ask if you want to brush your teeth together, which not only reminds that classmate of bad breath, but also avoids embarrassing him or even getting angry by reminding him in person.
Being honest will not avoid hurting feelings and new quarrels. For example, students who have experienced the sweetness of love must have experienced the bitterness of love. I believe many boys have heard their girlfriends complain: "Why don't you say you love me?" My best friend's boyfriend sends her a voice saying I love you every day. Why don't you say something? At this time, our male compatriots said, "honey, listen, we are going to eat chicken soon." Don't bother me. "After that, it may be very dangerous, right? Lighter is pulling WIFI, heavier is single dog. I might as well tell him that my love for you is growing with time. I can't tell you that I love you every day because my love for you is growing every day. Tell her frankly that you love her, avoid conflict and make her feel closer.
The end point of honesty is not to eliminate contradictions but to solve problems.
We choose to be frank, hoping to solve the problem in the simplest way through the cooperation between the two sides. If not, we should properly take up legal weapons and safeguard our legitimate rights and interests.
Two arguments about forbearance:
Yes, honesty can sometimes solve problems. But-when you have a conflict with the teacher, as a student, can you stand up against the teacher? When you are facing national peril, as a general, will you choose to argue with the prime minister endlessly? When you disagree with your elderly and frail parents, as a child, will you conflict with your parents regardless of their health? Well, if you communicate honestly, when you talk openly with each other, can you be never back down, never let go and never tolerate each other? Forbearance is not a shameful escape, a symbol of cowardice, or the acquiescence of a hunter, but an attitude of taking care of the overall situation, a beautiful atmosphere of giving up temporary self-interest and integrating into the overall situation.
Frank dichotomy:
Honesty does not mean calling a spade a spade, doing one's duty, and correcting each other's mistakes face to face, regardless of the actual situation. It is an excellent quality to dare to ask questions directly between relatives and friends. In Disciple Jing, "I once loved you, admonished you, spoiled me, and Ceng Rou voiced me" refers to my color and softens my voice. We face not only our parents, but also our friends and lovers. We are frank, we pay more attention to skills, and we can express our discomfort in an appropriate and ingenious way, which makes it easier for us to get recognition and change from each other. Forbearance is not an escape from shame, a symbol of cowardice, or the first-class acquiescence of hunters. However, for the sake of brotherhood and roommate's face, forbearance and self-repression are simply the inherent weights of the hidden ninja. On the one hand, I balance myself, on the other hand, I comfort myself that I have suffered losses, and the opposite side will make up for it. Just like you sent the goddess pastry yesterday, AD calcium milk today and flowers tomorrow, the goddess smiled and accepted it every day, but you thought it was the reason why she loved you more and more. Moreover, most forbearance can't eliminate their resentment, but will only accumulate deeper and deeper, waiting for the final conflict. Only through clever, friendly and reasonable communication, mutual recognition of mistakes and reconciliation can the most beautiful flowers bloom.
Three arguments of forbearance:
Forbearance will not lead to the accumulation of resentment. The purpose of forbearance we are talking about is to choose to avoid the possible intensification of contradictions when there are contradictions in interpersonal relationships. As for whether resentment will accumulate, it depends on whether the other party is aware of the problem and whether it has changed.
For ourselves, forbearance can often better reflect our self-cultivation, show respect and leave room for others, and lay a good foundation for getting along in the future. When contradictions arise, frank words are often stinging words, leaving scars on others' faces and hearts directly, simply and unabashedly. I choose forbearance to express an attitude that I don't want to make the relationship worse, and I don't want to make things worse. We are opposed to rhetoric, and we are not in favor of being open and outspoken; As the saying goes, disaster comes from the mouth, and forbearance, patience and calmness can better maintain good interpersonal relationships. We often say that forbearing for a while is calm, and taking a step back is actually talking about the wisdom of forbearance, which can not only avoid the current temporary quarrel, but also contribute to the longer-term development of interpersonal relationships. It doesn't want to express frankly when the contradiction occurs, because even if the contradiction is there, it is difficult to reach an understanding because the two sides have different ideas. Therefore, as we demonstrated earlier, forbearance at this time is a good way to solve contradictions.
Three frank debates:
This classmate shows the positive side of forbearance in interpersonal communication, but on the other hand, the accumulation of dissatisfaction and anger after forbearance may lead to an outbreak and easily lead to the breakdown of the relationship. In order to make our interpersonal relationship develop in a healthy direction, we believe that through frank and open communication, both sides can express their innermost thoughts, * * * regress through negotiation, and * * * solve contradictions. Presumably this is a healthy interpersonal relationship. This contradictory solution also provides us with a benign problem-solving model and provides experience for the next problem to be solved. Secondly, we see that the accumulation of discontent and anger after forbearance leads to the outbreak and breakdown of the relationship; This rupture is caused by the lack of equal communication between the two sides. If we communicate honestly and rationally, this contradiction can be better solved.