When we were young, everyone felt that their future was bright, right? But once he grows up, nothing will come true for him - the life of Song Zi, who is rejected.
When I was a child, I liked to secretly wear my mother’s high heels. I would walk with a twist, my hair tied up in a mess, blue eye shadow on my face, and the lipstick on my mouth looked like a sausage mouth stung by a wasp. Inside, I was complacent and felt that it was incredibly beautiful. But what about myself now? I wish I could be naked and free, but the novelty of makeup in the past is gone, replaced by a thick layer of armor and a disguised sense of powerlessness. My parents’ whispers and bedtime stories every night turned into the constant ticking of the alarm clock and the feeling of loneliness.
Before, I vowed to my mother: From now on, I will be a very, very powerful person. But now, I avoid mentioning the ambitions of the past. At that time, the simple and pure me had already been assimilated into this society. I no longer had hope and lived for the sake of living. I remembered that I once asked my mother if she would feel bored if she did a boring thing day after day. My mother said that when I grow up, I will understand that it is not what I want to do or what I like that can be the best. People can do anything in order to live.
At that time, I was scornful. I thought I would be the most special one and would impress my mother. But no matter how special I am, in the eyes of this world, I am just the most ordinary person. Growing up is really not good. Running around for a living, I even envied those little kids who played hide and seek. After playing enough, they trotted home. My mother prepared a hot meal and my father bought him a toy that he had liked for a long time. Then have a sweet dream and fall asleep peacefully.
As I grow up, I finally realize how long the night is. Sometimes I am so stressed that I can’t sleep. Either I have nightmares again and again. Many times, I dreamed of my previous self, the one who brazenly boasted about being a powerful person in the future, with a twinkle in my eye. After waking up, the gap was so great that I had to slow down for a long time. When did I start to become addicted to staying up late because I had nothing to do and couldn't fall asleep.
Nothing makes me as happy as a child for a long time. My mother is afraid that I will have a hard time, so she always calls me to remind me to take care of myself when I am away from home, don’t force myself, and go home when I am tired. But, now that I am an adult, can I still pester my mother to buy me this or that? At my parents' age, I really can't bear to see them sighing. They always blame them for my lack of success. He said in words that he was incompetent, and his children suffered hardships.
It doesn’t matter if I am alone outside, at least they think I can live a good life. Every time I comfort my mother and say: How can I let myself endure hardship? I'm such a delicate person. After hanging up the phone, I cried with tears streaming down my face. I thought I didn't feel wronged at all, but after my mother's few words, I felt the desire to talk, but I held back. I can't be so unfilial, she is already sad enough.
I'm afraid that when I get home, I will accomplish nothing. I'm even more afraid of being slapped in the face. If those heroic words don't come true, how can I have the face to face Mr. Jiangdong? I will hate that this world has too many twists and turns, hate that this reality only makes things difficult for me, and hate that I was young and frivolous at the time, but the current situation makes me speechless. I finally understood that only in the dark can tears flow freely, and tears cannot be seen in the light. The world cannot hear you complaining, it is deaf. Even if your nose is bruised and your face is swollen, it cannot see. It is blind.
When I grow up, I realize that nothing can come into my wish. Either I look down at the earth, or I look up at the sky.