Everyone will always experience a dark and helpless time in their life.
Many people hope that a lamp can light up for them so that they can go through the ups and downs in front of them safely.
However, reality often backfires. In those bleak days in life, most of us grit our teeth and get through it silently.
There is a classic line in "The Shawshank Redemption":
"Everyone is his own God. At any time, the only one who can really pull you up from the abyss is yourself. . ”
When a person is at a trough, the wisest choice is to put oneself into “silent mode”.
Complaint
I heard a friend talk about an experience he had.
After graduating from college, she went to Guangzhou alone to work hard.
As a newcomer in the workplace, she is under great pressure. She works overtime until late every day and often fails to take care of her meals.
Once the overtime work ended, it was already ten o'clock in the evening. On the way home, a friend stopped by and packed a portion of porridge.
Unexpectedly, when I arrived at the place where I was renting a house, I found that the elevator was out of power for maintenance.
I finally climbed to the sixth floor in one breath, but my hands slipped and I dropped the porridge bag to the ground, and the sticky porridge was spilled into my shoes...
In an instant, physical exhaustion, inner grievance, as well as the loneliness and sadness of being alone in a foreign land all came to my mind.
She couldn't bear it any longer. She squatted in the stairwell and called her best friend to cry.
But the other party responded calmly: "This is not worth crying about. Just take a shower and have a good sleep."
At that moment, my friend suddenly realized that it turned out that No matter how good the relationship is, people will never be able to empathize with each other.
Sometimes, the things that make you feel extremely wronged may be just a trivial matter to others;
Sometimes, the miserable experiences you keep nagging about are just the things around you in the end. People talk after dinner.
Just as it is written in "Shan Yue Doesn't Know What's in His Heart":
"Our hearts, our flesh, grow on ourselves, the ups and downs, the bitterness, the bitterness, the taste. Understand, don’t place your hopes on others, don’t ask others to understand your feelings, no matter how loud you shout, it will be in vain.”
Everyone hopes that someone can understand your depression when they are in trouble. , to help you resolve the depression in your heart.
But the joys and sorrows between people are not the same, and all the suffering must be endured silently by one person in the end.
In his novel "Trouble", Chekhov created the image of a "male version of Xianglin's Wife".
Yao Na, an old coachman, was at the bottom of society. He lost his wife in his early years, and later his son also died unexpectedly.
Faced with these misfortunes, he expressed his sorrow to everyone he met and begged for some comfort from others.
Some people will politely ask, how did the child die?
Others said impatiently: Everyone will die.
After a long time, some people even fell asleep directly at the moment he was about to open his mouth, without even perfunctory...
Sometimes, when someone complains to someone, it is not only If you don't get sympathy, you will get the disgust of others and lose the last bit of dignity.
Truly mature people have learned to swallow their own hardships and carry their own tiredness.
As Cai Kangyong said:
"It's not that I'm not good enough to talk to outsiders, it's that it's not worth telling others, because only I know best!"
Don't listen to gossip
In the past two years, the 40-year-old Jiaozi became a popular director in China with the film "Nezha: The Devil Boy Comes to the World".
However, Dumpling's road to fame was not easy, and he suffered a lot of cynicism along the way.
Dumpling’s original name is Yang Yu, a talented student at a medical university.
After graduating from college, he gave up his stable job in the hospital and devoted himself to his favorite animation industry.
In those days, he stayed at home and studied animation every day. He neither worked outside the home nor had any other financial income, relying entirely on his mother's financial support.
At that time, almost everyone thought that this young man was not doing his job properly and was an "old man" who did not want to make progress.
But Dumpling knew in his heart that if he wanted to make a good work, he must devote himself wholeheartedly to it, and it would also take time to polish it slowly.
Therefore, he didn't care at all about the gossip of people around him, but concentrated on creating, hoping to make great achievements in the future and become the pride of his mother.
Finally, after 3 years and 8 months of hard work, Dumpling handed over his debut novel "Hit, Hit a Big Watermelon".
This work allowed him to win more than 30 awards in one fell swoop and successfully entered the animation industry he loves.
In the later "Nezha: The Devil Boy Comes to the World", Dumpling said a wise saying through the mouth of Shen Gongbao:
"The prejudice in people's hearts is like a big mountain. No matter how hard you try, you can’t move it.”
Many people are often questioned by others when they become successful, let alone those who are in trouble and have accomplished nothing.
As the saying goes, eyes that cannot see are pure, ears that cannot hear are pure.
If you pay attention to those groundless slanders, they will become a burden, making your already bleak life worse;
And if you believe those malicious blows, It becomes a basin of cold water that will extinguish your last glimmer of hope.
In this life, no matter what situation you are in, you cannot stop others from gossiping and gossiping.
When you are at a low point, please put yourself in "silent mode" and don't listen or think, so that you can stay calm.
Don’t disturb the people around you
An ancient saying goes: The poor live in the busy city and no one cares about them, the rich live in the mountains and have distant relatives.
Only when a person hits the bottom can he truly understand what it means to be in the cold world and warm and cold in human relationships.
Shi Yuzhu, a famous entrepreneur, has experienced ups and downs in life.
In his early years, due to investment failure, the Giant Group he ran was on the verge of bankruptcy.
At that time, he suddenly went from a prosperous young entrepreneur to a failure that thousands of people pointed out.
If he wants to turn the tide, he needs to fill a 50 million funding gap.
So he began to look for help from his former friends. Some people politely refused with various excuses, and some simply closed their doors.
In short, no one was willing to lend him money.
In the end, Shi Yuzhu could only bear everything by himself and accepted the fact of bankruptcy.
A few years later, he returned with his business talent and launched "Melatonin" which became popular all over the country.
In a later interview, when mentioning this experience, he choked up and said:
“If a company encounters difficulties, don’t think about whether it can get back up by relying on others. You have to rely on yourself.”
In fact, many people have had similar experiences in life:
When you are prosperous, many people will take the initiative to marry you. Everyone you meet is a friend;
When you are down and out, most people are afraid to avoid you, for fear of having anything to do with you.
As the saying goes, it is easy to add icing on the cake, but difficult to provide charcoal when the time is right.
Life is very realistic. Never overestimate your weight in the hearts of others.
Sometimes, if you interrupt too much, it will only cause trouble to others and embarrass yourself.
Writer Martin once said:
"Every strong person has gritted his teeth and gone through a period of time when no one helped, no one supported, and no one greeted him."
During this difficult time, please do not disturb anyone easily.
The best way is to hibernate silently, cultivate yourself, and wait for the day when time comes.
Nine times out of ten things in life will be unsatisfactory. Ups and downs are the normal state of life.
When we are at a low point, please put yourself into "silent mode".
You don’t have to say those complaints to everyone. If you say them too much, they will become a joke in others’ mouths;
Some gossips can be blocked and ignored. There is no need to let outsiders hear them. Gossips become the last straw that overwhelms oneself; there is no need to disturb unimportant people, but to be one's own ferryman quietly.
As Audrey Hepburn said:
"People, above all, have the ability to repair themselves, to resurrect themselves, to redeem themselves, and never count on anyone."
I believe that everyone who single-handedly cuts through the thorns will one day return as the king and become stronger.
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