I need something like this to remind me that I don't live by the inertia of "living"
I love you.
I've said this a million times.
But the more I say it, the less I understand its meaning.
-
I love you
So I can do the right thing for you and the world.
I did the right thing myself.
Do the same thing as you.
Because I know I can do anything in the name of love.
Killing for each other like Bonnie and Clyde
Sleep with all the men for their husbands like Beth in The Waves.
I want the man in Thirty-Seven Degrees Two to kill the heroine with a pillow.
In the name of love, you can do whatever you want.
Because love makes you believe
Everything you did was right.
-
When I do something in the name of love
I think this is wrong, ugly and unforgivable.
How should I face myself?
And that insurmountable puppy love has become another kind of violent love.
Anything other than money will never be paid off.
For example, an unspeakable apology, such as a stubborn shame, such as an insoluble but inclusive gentleness, such as a fragile alliance that will emerge after experiencing shame and hatred together.
Hatred is always similar to some traditional Chinese medicine. It is cold and bitter, which precipitates in the human body and exudes the fragrance of plants. However, with the passage of time, it can always give birth to one explosion after another. Of course, thermos bottles used as weapons are gift boxes given by hatred. With a bang, sparks and smoke, they are opened and life is falling apart in a fast way. Don't forget that it's a ritual hatred. I wish everyone a happy life with hatred.
I used to think that women are moths who are good at fighting fires and are not afraid of death. Later, I learned that there is another kind of woman who is a migratory bird, flying peacefully along a quiet track anyway.
A woman who knows how to show weakness in a big way is often the final winner.
Naivety is actually not a good word, because many times it can easily destroy a person like a natural disaster, followed by a primitive, dramatic and ruthless force.
Sometimes as long as everyone is willing to pretend that nothing happened, it really didn't happen.
Expressway is a good place, because almost all expressways in the world are the same length, so it is easy for you to forget where you are, which is reassuring because it is endless.
The journey is hypnotic for most people, but I always enjoy just waiting for a long time to reach a certain place. When the destination really arrives, I often feel a little disappointed.
This long journey is like the freezing room of a huge refrigerator, emitting permanent cold, turning us drivers into orderly food storage one after another, unconsciously solidifying our expressions into indifference, and frosting our conscious surfaces. Sliding along the road in front of us has become the only thing to do and the purpose and significance of living.
On the roof of the teaching building, several windows belonging to Grade Three of Senior High School flashed randomly, as if we were looking down when we galloped away.
You will find out one day. The name of life is useless.
In that second, I realized one thing. A very simple thing. That little wolf. I have tried my best to find out what kind of wolf this is. The little wolf, who is always on the move for no reason, often dialyzes my deep pain for no reason, and often unexpectedly pushes me to the loneliness on the edge of the cliff and the evil thoughts of dying in an instant. It turns out that it's just a lyric with the highest frequency among countless love songs, just a sentence that I've been insensitive to because I've watched too much. Three syllables, each ending in a vowel, are still cadence, even the shortest subject-predicate sentence in Chinese:
I love you.
10 I lost my virginity, my first love and my Jiangdong in this chase. But fortunately, I didn't ask anyone for help, coquetry or compromise because of what I lost. I put up with the price I should bear. Including the love that I once thought was dirty, including the sacrifice and dedication that I thought the great flag was meaningless. I can't judge whether it is worth it now, but I don't regret it.
-"The Decision of the West"
At the moment, the lights are brightly lit, and the classroom is full of exclamation. I bumped into his eye defenseless. There was something strange in it, but it was good, and it was related to goodwill. He finally left me and returned to his seat with the crowd. Then he turned around and smiled at me. Everything around him seems to be washed by the light of rebirth, and so does his smile. I love you, I have long known; I used to love you so much that I just found out.
I know it is impossible for me not to love her, but I obviously feel that my love is getting less and less in those ugly words. Infinity is close to zero, and most importantly, it will never really become zero. There will always be a little bright spot there, you can ignore it and pretend it doesn't exist, but Tianyang, a leprechaun, always shows her invincible warmth and light at this time, powerful and enchanting, and then a single spark can start a prairie fire, and then everything starts again.
Do you know how much I longed for legendary love at that time? I thought it could save me from this endless loneliness. I thought I could love the world a little more with love. I thought it was the only way to make this indifferent dictionary smile at me. -Farewell to heaven
Love is a battle.
It's good to care about someone. Can make you gentler, stronger and better than before. When you watch him play basketball, you don't tell him that the way he runs makes you want to "want"; When he hugged you tightly without saying a word, you didn't even tell him that you were admiring his face when you were quarreling; When you sit quietly watching the frozen lake in winter, he grabs your thin wrist and wraps his fingers around yours. The subtle friction between skin makes you understand a China word: lingering. -What is happiness? Happiness is: witnessing the death of the gods, there are wild flowers on the grassland. In this happiness, you can be a look overlooking this grassland, or you can be one of many wild flowers, which doesn't matter. In this happiness, you become a woman, a quiet, carefree, contented and resigned fifteen-year-old woman, although you have never done it.
I don't live by the inertia of "living"
I said softly, "I think you are dirty."
Tears are the most precious thing, which can only be left to this deep sadness. This sadness has nothing to do with humiliation, injustice and pain. You rely on this sadness to build a deeper connection with the world. You and this sadness are warm to each other and live together in the vast loneliness.
12 love is a myth, but not a fairy tale. When I think like this, I suddenly feel that I am not the Song Tianyang I used to be. I held him tightly. His tears wet my sweater. I'm not forgiving him, I'm not conniving at him, I'm not forcing him to repent with tenderness. I just forgot for a moment that he had hurt me, or when I found out that I loved the person in front of me, the humiliation and pain he brought me became less unbearable with this discovery. Love is the sunset. Once shrouded, the dirtiest things become landscapes and have a reason to exist.
13 "I'm also wondering why I've been friends with someone with such a hard heart for so long, and later I learned that it was because of my hard heart that I fell and broke."
BC 14, we were too young, after AD, we were too old. No one saw the real beauty coming. That's a very unattractive smile. So, Haizi. I love you most. The moment you lay leisurely on the tracks and listened to the distant whistle. Is it after BC or AD? Did you see that beautiful smile? All I know is that I fell in love with trains from the first time I saw your poems. Because it killed you.
15 Now, I have been defeated. I used a moth to put out the fire and got a handful of warm ashes that are still in my hand. Fortunately, I still haven't forgotten that the name of this ashes is ideal.
16 clean quality is not a tragedy, but luck.
17 how brave it is for someone in the world to care so much about her feelings and thoughts-even if she doesn't understand, she should try her best to maintain it.
18 I grew up listening to love songs. We all are. Before we knew about love, there were overwhelming love songs describing all kinds of love for us. I am watching Farewell to Heaven. It is so boring. The teacher is talking about the test paper on the platform.
19 Jiangdong once said: There will never be real life in books. Looking back today, it is hard to believe that this sentence came from a child of 16 years old.
Beating people is violence, swearing is violence, and forcing others to "feel" in your way is also violence.
Happiness is: witnessing the wild flowers on the grassland of the gods.
I think my life is too short and you think your freedom is too long. I am your Conan dream, and you are my inevitable destination.
2 1 I always find out inexplicably at the worst time that I still like to live. Yes, it is alive. For example, now, I am sitting alone in an empty shop, viciously opening a can of beer and blocking them with my lips before the white foam overflows. They are shattered on the tip of my tongue, and that kind of limp and numb disillusionment is alive; Just now, for example, I rushed into this place where I belong and turned on a lamp in the corner. The old piano that Jiang Yi gave me loomed in the darkness, as if I had been waiting patiently there for a long time. I gritted my teeth and stared at it, and suddenly I smiled helplessly. Sour and nervous vision is alive; For example, just now, I rushed out of my uncle's house like a firebomb and rushed to the bottom of the building. I let my car bravely overtake his half-dead peers on the road again and again. The old man testified that I wanted to turn the steering wheel a little bit to the side. The strong and uncontrollable desire to die is to live.
Anyone should have a taste of being smashed, smashed, smashed and trampled by the world like glass.
Once unforgettable, you just forget it-how should you treat yourself?
I know there's a smile on my lips. In any case, whenever something new appears in my life, it can be a toy, a city I have never been to, or a coffee shop that is about to open, I will be as happy as I was for a long time. That kind of happiness is actually very useful. It seems that I need to pump blood energy with my heart-although I know it will always be boring.
I looked out and looked in the direction where you came.
Until I became a scarecrow, unable to speak or sing,
Only a group of sparrows accompanied me, ate me and waited for me in the distance;
They told me your name was Sunset,
But can someone tell me why, the hometown where I live with you,
Become so desolate. "
-inscription
It's easy to get sleepy when people walk on the highway for a long time. The road ahead is a road, and the road behind is also a road. It is natural for them to take a nap on this road that doesn't care about the starting point and the end point. Anyway, the dream of taking a nap at that moment is just a drop in the ocean compared with this long road. Of course, many car accidents are caused in this way. In the trance of a drop in the ocean, life ended under the eyes of God. In fact, if I had a choice, I would rather die like this. It's good.
Unfortunately, I can't die yet. I have something very important to go to Yangcheng.
When breathing stopped, there was a fragmented dark blue light in front of my eyes. The chest is torn tightly, and the neck is getting tighter and tighter, so tight. My body can't do anything at all, including trying to breathe with a needle, but my head is as clear and smooth as a frozen lake, which painfully reflects my dying body.
Life has to go on anyway. When a person finds himself the own flesh and blood of a violent and abnormal couple; When a person needs to bring up a child whose mind will never mature even if he grows up physically; To make matters worse, when a person finally understands that some difficulties can be walked out, but some difficulties can't be walked out, some disabilities can be gradually ignored by people over time, and some disabilities will stay there forever with blood. But this man still has to live. I can imagine the feeling of Nanyin sitting at the dinner table of Su's family, and the fear of feeling different. In such an environment, it seems that all soft expressions of feelings will be laughed at-don't think that saying a few words like "Happy Birthday" and "I miss you very much" can warm them up. They have long been used to deadpan and feel that they don't need to be warmed at all. People who grew up like that are not even the same as those who grew up in a bad environment like me. There are at least countless broken cracks in my soul that let my strong feelings seep out, but what about Sue? I bet that he has ground thick cocoons in some key places, and I'm afraid he doesn't even know it.
I know all the truth. However, every time, such a picture will suddenly sting my eyes. How can you allow yourself to live like this, so that there is no doubt about the kindness of others? How could I?
I'm not pretending to be calm, I'm really calm. Just because my knees are a little shaky doesn't mean I have stage fright I just concentrate on waiting for the referee's starting gun, just like I did at the sports meeting when I was a teenager.
I have been waiting for this moment. At the moment when he paused, I let myself go backwards slowly. One, two, three, just three steps. I can sit on the sofa behind me and remember to make a folded posture, but not too ugly. Good. When I sat down, my hair was even messy. Thanks to my hairstyle today, the rest of the styling gel contributed a lot. They just let a few strands of hair fall on my face, instead of making me look like a crazy woman. Then, when Fang Jinghui hesitated to say the following words, when the following words came out, I cried before him.
Although paper can't cover the fire after all, I can't care so much. People's will is sometimes really wonderful. Just because I made up my mind, my acting skills can be so good-I am usually a person who is hard to cry, and I don't necessarily cry when I die.
It doesn't matter if it's different. Anyway, there are all kinds of scum in this world. "
I really don't understand why people want to hear the truth, or why people always advertise that they like to hear the truth. What's good about telling the truth? Who set the standard of authenticity?
The night around me is dead. Suddenly, the huge refrigerator gave a long, buzzing low sound. It was sighing quietly, perhaps dreaming of something.
Deep in her eyes, it was a dark night. At one o'clock in the morning, everything was silent and lifeless.
That's what she is. She never knew that what she said would hurt others deeply.
I lost everything, so I can't lose face any more. Are you right?
Cherry is red, banana is green, you walk your wooden bridge, I sing my sunset song, whose loneliness is like a knife, killing my grandmother bridge and my Niannujiao.
It takes courage to focus on the sadness that sweeps across your face. Not everyone can do it.
Dawn is coming. The soft, wet dawn flooded in.
Your heart is too soft to be cut easily, but don't worry, although it is easy to get hurt, it can stand the beating.
The so-called lingering is probably the way it is.
I don't know what it feels like, the feeling that the whole person is turned into a burning bomb by hatred or pain. It was only at the moment of the outbreak that I realized that the great power that made people crazy was not hot, but cold, not hatred or pain, but fate.
When you experience a lot of dispersion, you can easily smell the eternal formula in the air.
Blood is smarter than water. Never noisy, but cruel. Once you decide who to leave, you will never look back.
3 1 light blue is actually a very frivolous color, but strangely, when it spreads to the size of the sky, you will find that frivolous is originally a kind of tolerance.
Pink, she flies in midair, like a petal with dew. She is a butterfly, and she was born dazzling.
I think that Magellan is really pitiful. He desperately wanted to go far away, but in the end he found that the farthest place he could reach was where he started, so he wrote a book telling people that the earth was round, just to curb despair.
There is another sentence in A Farewell to Paradise, just a few words, which describes that Jiangdong grew up in a foreign country and met a woman who looks like Song Like, Tian Yang and South Korea.
"Like a serial, sad coquetry. 』
Now that you have lost everything, since there is nothing to lose, what do you care about and what are you afraid of? After all, life is an illusion. After all, people are just chasing an illusion. Sing, sing. All illusions can be grasped at that moment, and the name of that moment is called reversing all beings.
————————— "Song Ji"
There is a kind of joy, like having an independent life, I can often be found everywhere, just like the sun always rises when we can't see it. This joy always pushes me into the broad daylight, so that I can make peace with anyone at some point. It has nothing to do with understanding and tolerance, but I am happy.
However, the old attachment is still alive, like a humble weed, dying but still alive. It is independent of people's thoughts, people's consciousness, people's strength and people's choices.
Her eyes are two nights after midnight.
The sky authoritatively thinks that the sea is overreaching, and the sea proudly thinks that the sky is incomprehensible.
Moths are floating quietly, condensed in the halo, and the edge of light is as thin as a layer of dust. It is said that moths want to die by themselves, but I feel that I have never lived at all. Because when they get closer to the light, they are already very calm, so calm that they are not like the life of secular desires, but like a soul.
Happiness doesn't conform to Newton's law of inertia at all. It always comes to an abrupt end when it slides smoothly.
(I made up the last one)
4 1 a few seconds is happiness. Even if he really can't remember me, I will remember it all my life.
I am life and death, and you are reincarnation; I am the world of mortals, and you are vanity; I am an insignificant point used to mark the years, and you are the infinity that contains all the bits and pieces of the vicissitudes of life; I am karma, you are practice; I am a person who longs to be a god, and you are an immortal god; I am a prisoner of this moment, and you are the shepherd of "eternal" vilen; It is impossible for me to get rid of the body of "this situation" You are a part of heaven and earth; I am the most affectionate smile and cry, you are the silent snow line on the top of the mountain; I am a ray of sunshine shining on tiny dust, and you embrace the darkness of everything; I forgive all trivial malice, and you are responsible for judging all evil thoughts you don't know; I am a colorful fantasy, and you are a lighthouse that illuminates the sea surface of Wan Li unwilling to be lonely; I think my life is too short and you think your freedom is too long. I am your Conan dream, and you are my inevitable destination.
One life two, two lives three, three lives everything.
You gave birth to me and I gave birth to you. We are one, the universe and eternity.
The first thing Lily sees in this world is the sky. Although she didn't know that the sky was the sky. A large piece of light blue shines softly on Lily's eyes that have just been opened for a long time. Lily's expression is very ignorant. Light blue is actually a very frivolous color, but strangely, when it spreads to the size of the sky, you will find that frivolous is a kind of tolerance.
The hunter's family lives near Yuan Ye. If you stand where Lily's mother often stands, you will think that the sun sets in the hunter's chimney every day. But in fact, that's impossible. The sun is so big and the chimney is so narrow. The chimney can't hold the sun, only soft boneless smoke. Boneless smoke slowly struggled out of the chimney-because the hunter was boiling bath water for Lily.
Lily likes running. When she runs, she feels like a wind whistling in her ear. I don't exist. Lily does not exist. As long as you are willing to run. Lily doesn't know that the reason why she is so obsessed with running is precisely because she doesn't know the name of this thing. The apparently exhausted deer turned around in a hurry and gave Lily a tearful look. Lily's beautiful head tilted, jumped up and bit the deer's neck. The deer let out a very short and faint whine, and didn't even shed much blood. Lily's favorite is The Last Leap. The lightning power at that time did not seem to come from her own body, but from the help of the gods. In that leap, I became a god. "Good girl." The hunter came up from behind and patted Lily's head proudly. Then carry the deer on your shoulders. The deer's eyes are still open. Bart ran excitedly before and after, shaking his head and tail. Lily walked ahead with her head held high, listening to the powerful footsteps of the hunter behind her. The hunter swaggered along with a deer like a bronze statue. The sun has set, and it's dusk. In a trance, Lily felt that the bite she had just bitten on the deer's neck seemed to break the sunset, so the sunset was everywhere, flowing slowly and affectionately.
Remember, even if you leave me one day, I won't leave you.
All the years passed by me like a meteor. Only me, my face is not old, because I have no heart. I think Ji Kang will be very happy if he knows the ending of his son. Because this child, like him, finally defended what he thought was important with his life. As for what that thing is, it can be ignored.
I am like a shining pebble, sinking at the bottom of the river of time. I haven't dreamed since he died. Only occasionally, some scenes will always appear in front of my eyes. All the people who are alive are dead. As for me, my heart is dead, but I'm still alive. But I kind of like it. Because of this feeling of eternal cold, I can understand how he feels lying in the grave. Our hearts and souls walk so beautifully, and our bodies depend on each other in this way.
I just came to Paris from a small city in other provinces, and I feel that Paris is like a Persian cat. Elegant and heartless. All the splendor makes people stay away from it. On that day, I didn't speak French very well; On that day, I lost the phone number of the person I was looking for; On that day, I didn't know where to buy a phone card. The sun went down and I saw some people coming out of the field. There seems to be a cold wind when they come up. So I walked down that step, in the opposite direction to the person who just came up.
It seems that the subway station and the city above are not in the same era. If it weren't for those advertisements and vending machines selling drinks, I would think I had become history. There is an old smell everywhere, such as those tracks that look like the nineteenth century, such as those cars that need to be opened manually. The subway swam out of the dark tunnel alone, so close to it. The messy graffiti lives on the wall of the subway station, and together with the names of those stations, it is safe and secure. There is a deep affection between them, but it is impossible to share it with us on the subway. Subway passengers have nothing to do with each other and look indifferent. The face reflected on the window glass is blurred because of the speed.
Dream traveler's top prose
Even a face with mediocre facial features has a sense of disillusionment.
I sat in a cold iron chair. I watched the subway whizzing by like a meteorite and stopped breathing in front of my eyes. Watching groups of strangers come in and out. I don't know where I should go or what I should do. Naturally, I began to ask myself what kind of person I wanted to be. At this moment, I heard the sound of music.
The sound of the accordion is as fragrant as a flower in the darkness without sunshine and praise. Folk music from eastern Europe sang the homesickness of the suffering people with gloomy expressions. The old busker is performing in the corner of the subway station. He raised his eyes, saw me and smiled at me. No one knows how the music I heard comforted me, the 18-year-old girl in a silly black coat. You know she had nothing at that time, except her brain, and all the good people could not bear to laugh at that extravagant hope. This subway station is like her life at that time, with only the speed in the dark. She can only wait nervously for the next lighted place, because she can see the name of the station there, so she can know where she is. She has nothing to lose, so she has the courage to fly forward in this darkness. But no one encouraged her, no one smiled at her, no one told her where to stand next, and the only warmth was the music of this tramp like her.
That was the first time I saw a subway musician.
They come from all over the world, and their music lives underground in Paris. Classical music, folk songs, jazz ... Many people are surprised by their high standards. These tourists don't know that in Paris, you have to pass the exam to get the qualification to perform in the subway. Every six months, the subway management agency selects 350 candidates from about 1000 candidates and grants them permission as subway musicians. Most of them come from conservatories all over the world, and many of them are vagrants themselves. Their beautiful music, their poverty and loneliness are also used to build the expensive romance of this romantic city. Paris is such a place, full of amorous feelings, but as cold as iron. If you say that the whole city is a dazzling feast, then these subway musicians are lonely leftovers after the feast. They are actually beautiful, they are actually arrogant, but no one cares.
The subway station is probably the most homesick place in this city. So they chose to live there.
Even if everyone is in a hurry, they play as if no one is watching. When the subway came, the sharp whistle that tore the air drowned out all the voices in the world, but they were indifferent. People got on and off, and the subway started again. There was a temporary silence on the platform. Their music often comes up at this time, like a reef at low tide, with freshly washed water.
Today, five years later, I take these subway musicians as the topic of my thesis. I can't explain to anyone why I chose such a group that few people care about, so there is not much information to inquire about. I can't tell a group of strangers that deep down, I always feel that I am an artist in this particularly enchanting and heartless Jianghu, just like them. You can look down on me, you can look down on me, you can treat me as a person who is excluded from this ordinary world, but I ask you, guest, are you sure you can live as before without my music? The only ending of all feasts is the end, and the only ending of all prosperity is withering. You can't see this, but I can. Because all my beauty, originally in full bloom in decline. Your leftovers are my banquet, and your pastime is my dignity. When you disdainfully toss a coin in front of me, you forget that I know the essence of this world better than you.
50 years of life will eventually be turned into a shabby hotel by us. Every room will be occupied, empty and occupied. No key will be dirty, messy and emit ambiguous light by different fingerprints. Come on, come on. I'll light up the dim gas lamp in my shop and give you a room number. Because I'm just like you.
5 1 I drew my air conditioner. It's just that I covered it with rust: a huge air conditioner, light gold, gray and black, with a large piece of red rust, and a huge steam engine connected behind it-I painted the air conditioner during the industrial revolution in the19th century, if there was an air conditioner at that time. I have always liked the old machines of the industrial revolution. They all look embarrassed and shy, just like a saxophone that has been used for a long time. This old air conditioner, which is not very clever, is too loyal to its duties and turns the whole room into the North Pole. Outside the window, it was still summer. When I broke into a piece of green, I didn't hesitate. A bear lives in the summer shade, looking at the air conditioner in the window and the beautiful ice flowers on the window glass, and there is an inexplicable expression on his face-his wet little nose is a little sad.