How should people who lack love in their original families be cured and use reason to replace negative predictions?

How should people who are lacking love in their original families be cured? Use reason to replace negative predictions. We all look forward to having a warm, loving family. Such a family growth environment will have a positive effect on children. So how can people who lack love in their original family be cured? Replace negative predictions with reason.

How to heal people who lack love in their native families and replace negative predictions with reason 1

Lack of love does not mean that they are not worthy of being loved. When you want to be as cheerful and cheerful as a normal girl, you have already labeled yourself as abnormal and not cheerful. These labels are telling you that you are not satisfied with yourself and that you are looking at yourself. You don't love yourself for who you are and the qualities you have. Don’t compulsively repeat your childhood experiences and continue to make yourself feel unloved. Rather than changing yourself, it is better to fully accept yourself.

Replace negative predictions with reason

Girls are usually more anxious when their boyfriends don’t answer the phone. We originally thought it was our partner’s behavior, which led to our insecurity and thus Ask your partner what to do. Cooperate with us, this is the take in the relationship. But in reality, the influence of our partners is secondary and rooted in the triggering of bad emotions from our childhood. Forming a fixed thinking pattern, if he doesn't respond to our calls and messages, he must be dating someone else, and he has changed his mind and no longer loves me. These are all negative predictions. Therefore, when we realize that our personality is a non-safe type, we need to strengthen positive thinking through deliberate practice. Think rationally and think of the best possibility: "He may be in a meeting, there may be important things being dealt with. I should be considerate of him." Wait for a while. Leave a message and the other party will reply naturally after seeing it.

Replace doubt with frankness

He attaches great importance to his wife and is extremely eager to prove himself in front of his wife, but the way he behaves is to doubt the other party. People often talk about divorce because they are afraid of divorce; inoculating their wives to prepare them for losing him is because they are afraid of losing them and are preparing to lose their wives in advance. To put it bluntly, acting as a self-protective defense is a very poor mode of communication in a relationship. If you can convey to your wife something like: "Wife, I hope to get your approval, I will do better, I love you, I will never leave you", positive psychological thoughts, no longer use disguise to protect On his own, he might live a much easier life.

Replace why with what to do

Ehrlich Fromm told us: "Most people think that love is just a thrilling emotion, and experiencing love depends entirely on chance. And only those who are lucky can fall in love. They regard the problem of love as a problem of being loved first, rather than a problem of loving and having the ability to love. However, love is actually an art and requires people to have it. Relevant knowledge and corresponding efforts. "In fact, insecure personalities do not have the ability to love. Because of the lack of love, they are more demanding in sexual relationships. According to Ehrlich Fromm's theory, in fact, the ability to love should be the courage to love someone without expecting anything in return, and to do the best for the other person wholeheartedly. In the process of love, it makes us grow and makes us happy. When we were young, if you felt neglected by your mother. When you grow up, you need to consciously know that your mother needs to work to ensure your life. If you love your mother, you shouldn't have hated her for so many years. You need to make peace with yourself, and you owe your mother forgiveness. How to cure people who lack love in their native families and use reason to replace negative predictions 2

In sociological definition, the native family refers to a family where the children are not yet married and still live with their parents. A warm, loving and caring native family plays a vital positive role in shaping the character of children; conversely, a native family lacking love and warmth can cause serious psychological harm to children. The famous Austrian psychologist Adler once said this famous saying: "Happy people are healed by their childhood throughout their lives; unhappy people are healed by their childhood throughout their lives." His words reflect the influence of the native family on children. The influence of psychological comfort is profoundly revealed. In a native family, parental neglect will cause deep harm to the physical and mental growth of the child. When a child grows up in such a family, his or her outlook on life, values, and world view will be negatively affected. One of the most typical manifestations is that it will make the child's personality more withdrawn and autistic, unwilling to open up and communicate honestly with others, alienating the people around him, which will alienate the child from the world, and will also greatly lack sunshine. , positive and optimistic attitude. Especially this kind of parent-child relationship that only focuses on favoring one child and ignores the psychological feelings of the other child.

All the qualities you have must have helped you at some point

Whether it is your caution, anxiety, emotional ability, observation ability, adaptability, etc. Children who lack love must experience a particularly difficult childhood, but it also has a particularly powerful side. If you were lonely as a child and had few people to accompany you and take care of you.

In order to survive, you tend to be more independent and have self-care abilities that are better than those of your peers. If your parents are emotionally irritable, then for the sake of family harmony and making your parents less angry, you will unknowingly develop emotions that are better than those of your peers. Observation and emotional abilities, over time, are like emotional mind-reading. You can accurately grasp the emotions of others at the moment, and know what others want to hear and what they want you to do; if your parents hand you over By taking turns being taught by relatives, friends, and teachers, you will develop strong adaptability, be able to get along with anyone, and not be afraid of unfamiliar environments. Behind the bitterness, you are also given special power. These forces have helped you in the past and will still help you in some way in the future. What you should do is not to dislike them, but to thank them, embrace them, and make good use of them. They have actually become a part of you for a long time. After experiencing all kinds of bitterness, you are worthy of being loved, and the various strengths attached to you are also worthy of being loved.

Let the adult you raise the lonely inner child in your heart to grow up again

If you want to heal yourself, it means that you have realized that there is something in your heart that needs to be healed. place. And what is hidden in that place is actually the weak child deep in your heart. This child is the epitome of your subconscious childhood. Once, it was a helpless child, but now, this child has someone to rely on. That support is you as an adult now. You can re-accept him, give him unconditional love, and raise him up. When your inner child grows up, awakens, lets go, and is no longer afraid, coupled with the blessing of the traits that have helped you, you will even be more powerful than a child who has had everything going smoothly since childhood. Nietzsche once said: What doesn't kill me makes me stronger. Great achievers have often experienced pain that ordinary people cannot bear. The pain you have experienced is not just pain, but also potential energy. Accept who you are, make good use of the characteristics that your special experiences have given you, and realize your greater potential.

Replace why with what to do

Ehrlich Fromm told us: "Most people think that love is just a thrilling emotion, and experiencing love depends entirely on chance. And only those who are lucky can fall in love. They regard the problem of love as a problem of being loved first, rather than a problem of loving and having the ability to love. However, love is actually an art and requires people to have it. Relevant knowledge and corresponding efforts. "In fact, insecure personalities do not have the ability to love. Because of the lack of love, they are more demanding in sexual relationships. According to Ehrlich Fromm's theory, in fact, the ability to love should be the courage to love someone without expecting anything in return, and to do the best for the other person wholeheartedly. In the process of love, it makes us grow and makes us happy. When we were young, if you felt neglected by your mother. When you grow up, you need to consciously know that your mother needs to work to ensure your life. If you love your mother, you shouldn't have hated her for so long or for so many years. You need to make peace with yourself, and you owe your mother forgiveness.