Method 1: Smooth and uninhibited
1, play around the world. Many love experts agree that men are not bad and women don't love them. In fact, the reason is very simple-active and interactive communication with a prodigal son is much more interesting than chatting with a boring honest man. When you talk to a woman, you should always joke. Take the opportunity to tell a joke, flirt with her, or deliberately misunderstand what she said. If she likes to talk to you about language back and forth, it will make her feel unable to stop. Suppose you have a crush on a woman at a party and you are hitting on her. If she says her family lives far away, she may leave after a while. You can smile and say to her, "No way, you are tired of me so soon?" If she starts to refute, with a hint of anger on her face and a smile on her mouth, it proves that she has received your sarcasm. Most women will accept this kind of banter (or "flirting").
2. Relax and control the overall situation. Why some men are called "flirting experts": These people usually belong to the dominant personality and know how to control (or manipulate) interpersonal relationships and benefit from them. This experienced veteran knows how to lead the topic to the target direction without showing any trace. Relaxation is the key-if a person expresses a strong desire to dominate the overall situation, but is obviously uneasy about the unknown, this person may look particularly strange. Imagine: If you are a girl, there is a person who has obvious affection for you to chat with you, but this person has obvious anxiety about each other's feelings, will you be attracted to him? It's hard to say.
Don't take those "girl cheats" too seriously. These so-called "swindlers" will advise you to be fully prepared before you act, and use indirect compliments and psychological tactics to deal with the opposite sex. Remember, if you only recite when chatting with a woman, you are not really relaxed and calm, are you?
3, low-key. In TV and movies, we can find that boys who are silent but full of energy are often the most popular (a successful example is James? State), say almost nothing, do nothing, and the women around you will be automatically attracted. Although the trend of film and television sometimes brings unhealthy influence to the relationship between men and women, there are still some places worth learning. Cold, showing a self-evident ability, can make men more attractive. Try to stay calm about what is happening around you, as if you don't care at all. Mount Tai collapses without fear, showing an extreme self-confidence, which is always sexy for women. To be clear, indifference does not mean that you can't say anything. This only means that if you seize an opportunity of flattery or come up with some ideas to warm up the conversation, you'd better wait and see. For example, if a lovely lady asks where you live, you can answer, "Why, are you going to my house tonight?" Although this kind of answer is a bit obscene, at least it doesn't expose your personal situation and can also establish a cynical image.
Keep a low profile after being rejected. If you try to talk to many different ladies at a party, you may be rejected by some (or even all) of them. It doesn't really matter. For every rejection, it feels as easy as being told that "your shoelaces are loose".
4, naturally express good feelings, but don't go hungry. To tell the truth-you want to be a "flirt", in the final analysis, you want to establish a kind of affection with them, whether it ends with kissing, making love or holding hands (don't despise it, everyone has a rookie past). This is also good-remember that healthy mutual affection is beautiful, and there is nothing wrong with actively expressing good feelings. Real masters are not afraid or ashamed to reveal their intentions. But they are not empty, lonely and cold. Hunger and thirst are not only unattractive to most people, but also a sign of low self-worth (while flirting experts always have high self-worth). For example, suppose you and a great lady just finished their first date and are walking out of the restaurant together. At this time, you will feel the surge of emotion and want to hug her. You can grab her hand when you walk through the crowd, which is very natural. Don't overdo it-act like you don't know what a hint is. If she shows embarrassment or takes the initiative to let go, you should let go naturally with her actions and don't make the whole scene too ugly. Of course, if she says it in secret, she'll have to hurry.
Note: A real flirt will never be a dirty man. It is one thing to express love naturally, but it is another to harass or even invade others' private space. So, watch your hand, or you will be laughed at by gay friends for having a red handprint on your face in the next few days.
5. Don't expect too much from the communication results. A flirt just enjoys the social process. They are cynical and talk to each other everywhere. They're not just fighting for it. Romance and dating are just by-products of their enjoyment, not "fighting" for them. When you chat with the person you like, don't think it's over. Let nature take its course, and you will be safe when it comes. The conversation naturally turned to ambiguity, which is good. But if it doesn't work, so be it-it's about participation! This is also one of the reasons why you should stay away from the "pick up girls" style of hooking up. These so-called cheats are usually written for the same goal (which is obviously sexual). These old tricks may be effective for very few women, but they are only physical pleasure between two humans and can never bring you that kind of natural and pure happiness.
6. interesting. Everyone likes to laugh. Humor can make people relax, so if others think you are a funny person, then others (including women) naturally want to be with you. Try to find opportunities to laugh at yourself or make fun of others (with good intentions). In a relaxed environment, with the people you like, most people have the potential for humor. But if you really don't like joking, you may need to search some humorous topics online (our website also has many articles on how to express humor, so let's start here). Pay attention to self-deprecating humor. Individuals can laugh at themselves and be sexy at the same time (like the famous American director Woody? Allen's movie hero), but in fact, self-mockery is a very difficult move for most people. Self-mockery can easily make me look too self-sufficient, or expose my insecurity in the process of communication.
Method 2: Calm and confident.
1, install if you can't do it. When you are in a high-pressure social environment, it is easy to forget. If you don't talk, others have no idea how nervous and anxious you are. In other words, as long as you keep a clear head and control your behavior, others will never know that you are nervous! Simply showing confidence is actually enough to fool others into thinking that you are really confident. Even better, pretending to be confident is a good cycle of self-realization-pretending to be confident can make you feel confident and make you look more confident. For beginners, first of all, pretend that everything you do is taken for granted. Make a decisive decision, don't be stubborn. For example, if you want to invite someone to dance at a party, don't just think about it-just do it if you want! Walk up to her bravely and ask her, "Hey, do you want to dance?" That's what we have to do.
2. Use positive body language. Remember-enter the role and you are the role! If you look confident, then you may be really confident, because outsiders simply can't see the difference between the two. If you are shy and introverted, but want to get along well with women, using some explicit (but not too restrained) body language can make your image instantly higher. Here are some suggestions for beginners: stand with your chest out and your stomach in. Doing so can make you look stronger, bulge your sternum and highlight your muscle lines as much as possible.
Hold your head up. Looking up can make you look more proud and confident and not afraid of your surroundings. But don't squint at others with your nose-it will only make you look arrogant and snobbish.
Dare to expand personal scope. Confident people don't mind making all kinds of relaxation postures. If you are sitting in a chair, lean back and stretch your legs slightly. If you are crowded in the crowd, you don't have to jump away to avoid accidentally touching others.
Do not cross your arms. This is a high-cold blockade.
Don't stare at the phone. Staring at your mobile phone all the time will give you a feeling of "I'm busy" and make others flinch from you.
3. Use eye contact reasonably. Confident people dare to look directly at others (especially those beautiful women who are popular). Dare to look directly into each other's eyes is traditionally regarded as a sign of sincerity and integrity, giving people the impression of openness, courage and concentration. On the contrary, not looking directly at others will give people an impression of shyness, nervousness and concealment, even if you are not at all. Try to keep eye contact during the conversation. Or draw her across the room for a few seconds with firm eyes. Looking straight doesn't mean staring or squinting-too much eye contact must be a bad thing! If you are talking to a woman, you can try to maintain firm eye contact, but if you are not chatting with her, a few seconds of eye contact is enough, and if you look at it any longer, it will only make her feel uncomfortable.
4. Relax. Without thinking, answer immediately: when you make up your mind to do something, what is the first difficulty? Yes, it is "relaxation". Trying to relax actively is like swimming in quicksand-the harder you push, the weaker you become. If you find yourself paying too much attention to the high-pressure social environment, unfortunately, I can only tell you that there is no so-called "right" way to relax. Everyone has different ways to decompress. But many people think that the following methods help to relax: despise it mentally and make fun of it.
sports
adequate sleep
take a deep breath
ponder
5. Have your own life. Imagine: you are chatting with the lady you like, and you are playing "mystery cards" (like all flirting experts), keeping all your information and making her interested in you forever. Assuming all goes well, you ask her to meet at the weekend-you really want to talk to her about yourself. Do you want to be a sophisticated and humorous person, or do you want to be an otaku who lives in front of TV and computer every day without dreams and ambitions? The answer should be very obvious. A real flirt has his unique social experience and inner mystery, and leads a real and interesting life. They spend time and energy to pursue passion and experience new things. Going out and experiencing the world will not only make you more attractive-it will also give you rich social experience and the unique self-confidence it brings. If you want to cultivate a new hobby, you'd better find a hobby that you are interested in, or that you like very much and are willing to keep improving. Do you like to do it yourself? DIY home. Do you like music? Buy a musical instrument in a second-hand shop and start practicing. Do you like playing games? Yes, even playing games can be the subject of interesting experiences. Join an online game tournament or develop your own game channel on the Internet.
Method 3: Personal charm
1, don't be ashamed of your personal interests. Ask anyone what a "flirt" is, and you will probably get a long answer: "First of all, you must be handsome, calm, confident, well-dressed, and have many very male hobbies." Although the first four items are very important to the first impression of gender communication, the last item is the most influential factor in the actual communication process. Don't hide or hide what you like to do. Even if you are a bookworm, be a cheeky bookworm. If you have different hobbies, such as watching melodramatic French romantic movies in the mime era, don't hide it-it's cool to like different things! Expressing 100% honesty about your hobbies will make you look more sincere and confident, and will also make her look at you with new eyes.
2. Find the target in the place where you haunt. Nightclubs, singles bars or other traditional dating "hot spots" are more popular because the music is deafening and everyone is drunk. And for some people, maybe other places are more suitable for finding goals. Beginners can try to find targets in places where they often haunt. For example, if you like outdoor sports, you can start from a crowded park. It is easier for you to find the opposite sex who shares your interests in this way than blindly looking for "prey" in nightclubs.
3. Have a personal style. There is an old saying: "Only by being yourself can we go further." This old saying may be a bit out of date, but it is a wise saying for a flirt. Good flirts never go with the flow for the sake of self-positioning-they only do what they want to do, show their sincerity and ignore the comments of idle people. Your unique personal style can make you more attractive and impress others, instead of trying to be what others call "cool". So being yourself is not only easier than following the trend, but also makes you stand out from many opponents. One of the effective ways to clearly distinguish yourself from others is to cultivate your own unique clothing style (not too strange, of course). For example, you can buy second-hand clothes from second-hand shops or vintage shops, and even sew clothes or make ornaments yourself.
4. Open mind and sincere attitude. Honesty is the best strategy when chasing women. In most cases, everyone (including women) can actually see the signs of honest people lying, so showing different personalities or hiding true feelings will only make both sides feel embarrassed. Besides, most women think honesty is a lovely quality. So, in fact, you can't find any reason to be dishonest. Don't open your heart and tell her your true thoughts, opinions and intentions. The worst result that honesty may lead to is a lost opportunity for development, but if you are forced to lie in pursuit of a woman, will you really feel happy? Probably not. For example, if you really encounter an "irresistible factor"-you just can't accept her behavior, you naturally have to confess your thoughts to your partner (or future partner). Imagine: Would you rather spend a few weeks pretending to smoke, drink, eat and burp, and love Phoenix Legend all day long, or gently nip this relationship in the bud?
Note that the opposite of honesty is not only lying, but also being too frank. You have to confess your thoughts and feelings, but you can't completely expose all your private information before developing a formal relationship, which will only make the scene extremely embarrassing.
5, love others, love yourself first. If you don't love yourself, you can't love others, so if you don't position yourself correctly, please don't start sex. The ideal love is the crystallization of a happy and satisfied life-a true and beautiful experience, not the only necessity of happiness. Flirting experts are always comfortable physically and mentally, because they know that no matter whether their love life is rich or not, their life is happy enough. To lay a solid foundation for the happiness of love in the future, you need to have the following points: enough freedom (such as having the financial ability to support yourself and enough spare time).
Opportunities (and motivation) to pursue your hobbies.
Stable and satisfying non-love interpersonal relationship.
Recognition in the professional field, and/or some personal achievements (for example, outstanding work performance, becoming an important member of the club, etc.). ).
Tip: A good joke can turn embarrassment into humor and make her smile again.
When she confessed her past to you, she tried to understand.
Listening skills, trust and respect are the three most important factors in developing a sexual relationship.
Show tenderness from the details. Block the door for her when you open the door, help her pull the tab of the drink, be polite and so on. The "detail offensive" is very popular with many women.
Warning not to wear the same clothes for two days in a row. She will definitely find out, and the impression will be instantly inserted into the water.
"You are fat" and "you are ugly" and other rude words = a good way for women to lose weight. Abuse is also a way to make them disappear in front of you forever.
Don't be cool. Some women just don't like cold.
Respect her bottom line. Don't let her feel that she is your property, but report her whereabouts all the time.
If you really respect her, give her some privacy and leave her alone.
Don't be a third party!
If you can't accomplish any of the above, or if you really can't reshape your appearance and personality, then maybe you are not suitable to be a "flirt".