★ When you play eighteen holes of golf with a person, you get to know him better than if you had been with him for eighteen years. --Grantland Rice

★ When you're playing golf, you can barely appreciate how miserable the world outside is. --Robert Lynd

★ There's a reason golf is so popular: it's the best sport to take you into a world of extinction. --A.A.Milne

★ Playing golf is like measles. You should start it when you are young. If you delay it until your golden age, the consequences will be serious. --P.G.Wodehouse

★ I have a secret that will instantly get you five strokes lower: the eraser. --Arnold Palmer

★ Golf is played on a fairway that's only five inches wide --- right between your left and right ears. --Bobby Jones

★ Golf is like an affair. If you don't take it seriously, it will be boring. If you take it seriously, it will break your heart. --Arthur Daley

★ Golf is a fascinating game, and it took me nearly forty years to discover: I can't play it well! --Ted Ray

★ If a person has a thief in his heart, golf will bring it out. --Paul Gallico

★ Golf is like a stupid eighteen-year-old girl. You know it's not good to have a relationship with her, but you can't live without her. --Val Doonican

★ Golf is a game of lots of walking, punctuated by disappointment and foot-holding arithmetic. --Author Unknown

★ If dryness aided ball flight, golf scores would be far lower than current records. --Horace G.Hutchinson

★ Don't believe them when they say golf is like life, golf is more complicated than that. --Gardner Dickinson

★ If a man could hold a knife and fork at the same level as he could hold a golf club, he would starve to death. --Sam Snead

★ I enjoy the flight of the ball after a perfect swing in a way that others find in poetry or art museums. --Arnold Palmer

★ The reason the pros teach you not to look up during your swing is so you don't see him snickering. --Phyllis Diller

★ Fifty years ago, a hundred white people chased a black man in the wilderness. We called it the "Ku Klux Klan". Today we call it the "PGA" ". -- Author Unknown