So ... How long do I have to carry this memory with me? -

When I was in the first grade of primary school, I was in the same class, but the plot was not a cliche. In the third grade, you transferred to another school and left, as if you never appeared again. Our friends don't intersect. I just don't remember your name.

The results are not bad, and I was born and raised in Huanggu District. It was logical to go to the experiment or Hongqiao. Occasionally, my classmates asked me to accompany her in the exam. I heard for the first time that there is a school called No.20 Middle School, which seems not bad. So I caught up with the last day of registration. More than 5000 students enrolled 100 students. In the middle, there is me You too.

Remember the military training before entering school. Everyone introduced themselves. After introducing myself, I went back to my seat. You patted me from behind and said, "Are you in Class 4?" I also blurted out, "Your name is cy, and I remember you." You smiled, and your silly smile hasn't changed for so many years. . At that time, my hair was short like a tomboy. . I don't know the word love, nor what this reunion means to me. .

Then for about a year, although we lived on campus and were assigned a dining table, we hardly talked. I only know how to play silly with my dead cat friends. It seems that I know which girl you are having an affair with, which I don't understand and won't let go.

When I was in the second grade, I changed my seat. jmm and I sat at the same table behind you. You have a good relationship with all the girls around you, but you still don't talk to me much. . I don't think it's anything special either. At that time, I was very introverted and didn't talk much. I like to live a little contented life in my own world.

At the end of that year, there was the World Cup. You got Carlsberg's World Cup brochure. We began to pay attention to the game every day and carefully record every score. Gradually, there were more words. You take a group photo of primary school and let me tell the story of my former classmates. . We almost ruined all the self-study, but we were very happy.

After two years of campus life, we began to cram together. The schedule is very full. It seems that this can balance the irritability and anxiety of learning. We are not people who love learning at heart. We will catch up on our homework in the cake shop before class, play video games by bike in class, and eat kebabs at a fixed booth after class. . . The makeup class left me with good memories.

Remember? 2. 14 on the third day, go to McDonald's on the way after class. You bought about four people back. As a result, we talked for a long time while eating. . . At that time, my family kept urging me on the pager, and I quietly pressed it. I came home a little late, and I felt guilty. I finally have my own troubles. . Be careful, lest others know, but I think you will secretly laugh in your heart, and the sweetness of first love may be here. The feelings at that time did not need straightforward words. When we study, we will change seats together and often give some small gifts in various names. In the Agricultural Bank opposite the school, we will handle the bank card of the other constellation, but the front and back seats often pass notes to discuss things. . . Little by little. . Keep it in mind. .

The teacher seems to have noticed our change and tried to move my seat again and again. I finally couldn't help moving out. You are angry and ask me why I want to change. I am also angry that you can't feel my helplessness: I don't want to leave. But unable to resist. .

You are also close to many girls. When your deskmate is angry, he will only listen to you. You will buy pants of the same color and different colors at my deskmate and dress up as a couple. You will use the pull ring of the can as a ring and tell her half jokingly, promise me. . I said you were cynical, but you smiled and said no. Sometimes I really feel hurt. But I'm too good at hiding. You won't notice, and neither will anyone else. After a long time, I seem to be immune to this kind of injury. So let's make up lessons together, or be ambiguous, or at arm's length.

Senior three was locked in a ravine to strengthen his study. Very boring. After waiting for so long, I think I should give up So my deskmate and I chose a handsome boy as a pastime. You know, it's sad to say that you know your heart and that you really like me. That was our first confession. But I said I was a senior three, and I wanted to study, not anything else. Then we bet that if I can't find a boyfriend, you will always buy me gum. . Then our tables will be flooded with gum forever.

I am poor at math. The best boy in my class often asks me questions. I admit that I am selfish and don't care about your feelings. That boy is getting worse and worse, and I am always passive. I hurt you again and again, and you forgive me again and again. However, every injury is a heavy cut on feelings. Although it is not fatal, it is difficult to recover as it did at first.

Some people say that childhood love is a seesaw-when you do your best, the other person is just relaxing; When the other person is tired of love, it is the time when you feel at ease. I think at that time, you must have loved me wholeheartedly at the lower end of the seesaw, while at the upper end of the seesaw, I just enjoyed this care like a child, but I forgot to pay while being loved.

Once we quarreled, I ran back to the dormitory angrily. You asked a girl to show me Liang Yongqi's tears in the dormitory. A very nice song. So I'm not angry with you anymore.

There was another night study, and I went to the boy to give me a lecture. You are behind us. Turn the volume of the walkman to the maximum. I recognized it as that tear, and I know you are angry, but I think it is very reassuring to talk about this topic. Think you are stingy. Don't worry.

Finally, you found that boy holding my hand, and you reached the limit and broke up with me completely. We haven't talked to each other for a long time. During that time, my deskmate often accompanied you to comfort you. I can't explain it. At first, he just touched my hand and asked me if I understood. After that, he stayed longer and longer, two seconds and three seconds. . . It will last for a long time. I endured again and again, and I was at a loss. I realized for the first time how much I paid for my weakness.

One weekend, Liang Yongqi's voice came from the radio in the classroom. This song is full of tears. . Long time no see. . This song made me burst into tears. . . I've been pretending to work hard. . You sent me a message asking me why I cried when I heard this song, and asked my good friend to come and comfort me. . So you forgive me again.

The next few months seemed calm and sweet. Don't quarrel, encourage each other and study hard. Texting in bed every day, the signal in the mountains is not good, and I often can't get it. I fell asleep waiting. I don't like eating on time. You will make me hot and sour noodles. From then on, I fell in love with the taste of old vinegar. You give me a pair of lovers watches. I smiled and said that this watch is not my style at all. I kept it carefully and never took it with me. Although I always return my watch to you or give it to someone else every time we quarrel, you insist on bringing it back to me. . After every quarrel, we all say never give up. You took me to the mountains to see the stars, so I told you that every girl is a star in the sky. Since then, I have a special liking for the patterns of stars. . .

An opportunity to go abroad excites us. My parents respect our decision, and I also want to leave my parents. My heart is sad, and my math exercise book is wet with tears. My deskmate comforted me and said, don't be sad, he will take good care of you. . Finally, the teacher strongly stopped me, I was silent, and then you gave up. Sometimes, a choice can change a lifetime.

At a classmate dinner before the college entrance examination, you held my hand for the first time. We are both nervous. It's cold, but our hands are sweaty. .

I brought the watch you gave me in the college entrance examination. You said sweetly that your mother found out. . On the day of the college entrance examination, you were with your parents and didn't return my text messages. I am very angry. Another few days of cold war. As a result, I don't ask you, and you don't ask me. I thought you said that your family wanted you to apply for medical school. I didn't want to stay in Shenyang, so I filled in Dalian Maritime. The maritime law there is the best in the country. Early admission is still empty, and national defense students who don't want to go to military schools can still consider it. At that time, only Dalian University of Technology recruited girls. And you heard that Dalian University of Technology has the opportunity to jointly train with the National University of Singapore. In this way, fate brought us to the same university.

The holiday before school starts is the most relaxing. We visited all the interesting places in Shenyang. On the color TV tower, you show me the location of our home. We talked a lot that night. Think about college life and our future. . The wind is very strong, but you have been holding me and your heart is warm. I think happiness is very simple.

I like staying up late, and I like hanging out on the Internet late at night. Your avatar has been on qq. You said surfing the internet was actually boring. Stay with me. I was so moved. .

When school started, the unfamiliar environment and too much attention suddenly made me feel a lot of pressure. . There seems to be endless meetings and activities. With less contact, you start complaining. You are dissatisfied with having too much contact with other boys. I feel very tired. Go home on holiday, eat KFC before getting on the bus, buy your own food, and then be silent. . Touch me and let me see you spell out I love you and two hearts with French fries and ketchup. I bowed my head cruelly and continued to be silent. My brain is blank.

I am new here, so I am very careful. Dare not skip class, dare not ask for leave at a meeting, dare not refuse to eat. . Really tired. . You can't stand my indifference and the boys around you. Separated. . . .

Then a boy said, let's be friends, not just good friends. . . I'm at a loss. . If you refuse, you can't say it. It seems that you don't feel nothing, although it's different from what we feel. My silence was regarded as acquiescence. So, I started my life with my boyfriend again. He doesn't know our story, but he knows that we are close. He is rational and not jealous. When we are together, we hardly talk about feelings, but more like partners in study and work. He has a plan, just as I am part of it. I'm trying to adapt to this life. Only occasionally hear Liang Yongqi sing tears and cry with him. At that time, I often stayed at school during holidays and didn't want to go home. Every time I go back to Shenyang. Seeing a familiar scene will inevitably touch the scene. After all, there are too many experiences and memories. I know it's unfair to my boyfriend. I used to wander around the room at that time. But he will hold my clothes tightly and ask me what he did wrong, so that I can give him another chance. I think I'm really not cruel enough, so people who love me are destined to get more hurt.

When I was a sophomore, I made the song "Tears for You" into flash. I know you must remember that song, but do you remember me? We overcame a lot of resistance and got back together. I thought our love finally had a happy ending. I dug out the watch you gave me and told myself that I would never hurt you again. I swear to myself that I will never say goodbye to you again. However, we can't escape the fate of breaking up. If it is a mistake for us to come together, then why do we make mistakes again and again? Maybe we can't forget that memory. I remember it was very cold in Dalian on Valentine's Day. We have been together for so long, but there are not many formal festivals together. We visited all the shopping malls until they closed, and then took a taxi back to school. You said that I don't feel tired around you. You said that when the weather was warm, we would walk back to school from Qingniwa together. . I didn't expect this. . This sentence has become my eternal regret. The weather will get warmer, but no one will accompany me to go that way again. .

You asked me why I left, but I never gave you an answer. It seems that from reconciliation to separation, everything is just repeating. You said I never understood my heart, and you said I didn't know what I wanted. Maybe you're right. I am also endlessly reflecting on myself, although I still can't get the answer. I really don't know why we finally separated. That day, downstairs in the dormitory, you said you couldn't study without me. You said there were girls haunting you, and I wasn't there when you needed me most. I still ran upstairs. Convince yourself not to be such a weak boyfriend. . You said that feelings would never come first for me. You said my indifference was not as thorough as your taste. . You said I was nice to everyone except you. . . Actually, you are wrong. . Everyone expresses their feelings in different ways. You never know how much I feel about you, and you never know how important you are to me. Or maybe. . Deeper and heavier than I thought. . . I admit that I regret missing you, but it was my choice and I can't regret it.

After graduating from college, we had our first real photo. They said to pose in a heart shape, and you smiled and said it doesn't matter. I think you really put it down. We can also be friends. There is a trace of sadness, and more is relief. We hurt each other and lost the ability to love for a long time. . We should find our own happiness.

I think this memory can be blown to the corner of the years like sand in the wind, stored there and then forgotten. However, with the passage of time, through the distant years, I secretly miss you, still shouting. .

We're not in touch anymore. I don't ask you about going abroad. I don't want to see you off at the airport. Because lovers can break up and divorce, and no matter where in the world, friends who know each other, care for each other and take care of each other will always be the warmest corner in their hearts.

Perhaps, after missing you, vigorous love has become a luxury. Plain feelings are my life. No bondage, no entanglement, no possession. . I will be content with such a comfortable life, and I will think of you when I hear sad songs occasionally.