People should learn to wrestle when they learn to walk, and only after wrestling can they learn to walk. -Marx's case introduction: One case: My son Xiaoming, now more than five years old, is in the middle class of kindergarten. He is lively and has a strong self-esteem. Because he is naughty and reckless, adults always talk about him. Children can admit their mistakes every time they make mistakes, but they just don't change. I always gave her great patience at first, but she always seemed to test my patience until I couldn't stand it and yelled at her. After that, she was right and wise, but soon she made the same mistake again. I can feel that he really wants to be a good boy, and he cares about other people's comments on him, especially my attitude towards him. He often asks me, "Mom, do you love me?" "Am I a good boy?" I doubt it. What the hell is going on? What should I do? Case wisdom 2: Three to five years old is the embryonic stage of self-awareness. When adults ask their children to be good children, they will be eager to know whether they are good children or not, but they have no criteria and ability to judge. They can't judge whether what they haven't done is good or bad in the abstract, but must work hard to get the judgment through the language evaluation of parents, teachers and peers. It is unrealistic to prevent five-year-old children from making mistakes that seem obvious to adults, because children of this age basically grow up with mistakes. Many parents try to let their children know more correct behaviors in advance, thinking that once they are told, they should remember them. Children's memories are more about their parents' emotions, less about their parents' words and less about their values. Therefore, the child saw his mother's expression and knew that he was wrong again this time. As for why he was wrong, he was still confused. Therefore, there will be a situation in which the child has a good attitude of admitting mistakes but has never changed it, because the child does not know why he is wrong or how to change it. With the increase of children's age, life experience and social experience, children have their own values, but there are still children who do something wrong and refuse to admit it. The reasons are as follows: 1, self-esteem, children also have face problems, and they are unwilling to be "negative materials" and "stains" in the image of their peers. I don't want to have a "criminal record" in school life. Therefore, I quibble or shirk my responsibility, and avoid the heavy, so I have to use "escape" to save myself. Xiaogang just lied to avoid the difficulties he met in his study. 2. Parents mishandle their children's mistakes. Some parents simply dealt with it. Children have learned the lesson of lying to avoid responsibility, and they have tasted the sweetness of not admitting and not being investigated by adults. Only in this way can children repeat the wrong behavior. Some parents treat their children rudely and punish them excessively, which makes them afraid to admit their mistakes and dare not confess the facts. Rebellious children tend to deviate from their parents when they grow up. To be independent, we must get rid of parents' control by denying their images. The more parents educate their children about their values, the more likely they are to rebel when they grow up. In particular, some parents instill a monotonous value judgment system that is right or wrong, black or white, which will limit the development of children's thinking. Until the rebellious period of youth comes, children will find that their world is not so simple and clear, will be confused, and will wander on the edge of right and wrong. In the rebellious period, children will re-integrate their own value system through reverse emotions and behaviors. For example, Xiao Gang in the case protested that his family regarded academic performance as the standard for their children to study hard and paid too much attention to academic performance. Experts suggest that for younger children, children should be allowed to make mistakes, and everyone grows up by constantly improving their mistakes. Parents should fully understand their children. After all, children are still young and have poor self-control, so mistakes are inevitable. As parents, we should start from the actual needs of children, think from the standpoint of children, treat children's mistakes with tolerance, don't pay attention to children's behavior, give more advice to children, tell them what their mistakes are in a relaxed tone, and help them find ways to solve problems or correct them. Young children don't know how to correct it. Parents should guide their children to correct their mistakes in action. For example, if a child breaks something, let the child repair it if he can. When children can't make up independently, parents should participate in the process of making up, so that children can feel the good intentions of parents. In the face of some older children, be tolerant and disciplined. In this way, children can really develop the good habit of knowing mistakes and changing them. The following points should be noted: 1. Should criticism and punishment be appropriate? Well-founded, don't scold children for no reason. If the parent supervisor wrongs the child arbitrarily, the parents should apologize to the child calmly and say that they will pay attention to correcting it in the future, so that similar situations will not happen again. Under the influence of parents' exemplary behavior, children will receive education wholeheartedly. This is extremely beneficial to correct children's mistakes; ? As far as the matter is concerned, you can't characterize your child with personality problems. As a parent, don't be cynical, sarcastic, and personally attack, saying "You are a hopeless child" and "You are a liar", which will hurt the child's self-esteem and even make the child desperate; ? Pay attention to the occasion and opportunity when criticizing children's faults, and don't criticize children in front of his partners when there are many people; ? Appropriate punishment is helpful to the healthy growth of children. Parents can agree with their children on punishment in advance. But punishment is not corporal punishment and corporal punishment in disguised form; Punishment can be chosen by children themselves or accepted by children. 2. Cold treatment Many educators focus on direct criticism education. In fact, the effect of cold treatment is better. Sometimes, it is not the most important thing for children to admit their mistakes orally. He knew in his heart that he had done something wrong. Therefore, when a child makes a mistake, there is no need to force him to admit it orally. Parents only need to tell him that the way is what parents want their children to do and can also achieve the purpose of education. 3. Encourage children to take responsibility and start from good friends. The more mature the mind, the better the face, the more afraid to admit it, or the stronger the rebellious mentality, the more difficult it is for adults to communicate with it. You can ask your children to trust their peers and encourage them to admit that they can bear the pressure with them and reduce their psychological burden. With the support of peers, children have the courage to face mistakes. 4. Make friends with children. Many times, children are afraid of their parents' "authority" or a kind of rebellious psychological embodiment of their parents' "high-pressure behavior". Parents should carefully analyze their children's motives for making mistakes and guide them in time.