Self-salvation of procrastinators

Have such a friend, envy him from the bottom of my heart. He is neither rich nor famous. What I envy is his lifestyle, or his self-management style. Have a regular schedule, read some meaningful books and watch some good movies every month. Even after work, I insist on going to the library for self-study several times a week. In my spare time, I insist on running, swimming and doing some aerobic exercise. Everything that will make me feel stressed is so easy to him. I admit that I have seen the gap between us, and I can see that the gap between us will get bigger and bigger in the future. As expected, he was promoted soon, and everything seemed to be in his plan. Life is always arranged in an orderly way, and he is a big winner in life. Why talk about such people? Because since I met him, I have been thinking about where our gap is. Or, where is the gap between people?

I believe there is such a person who is always caught up in procrastination, leaving a pile of work to be dealt with but not wanting to start at once; I claimed to lose weight, but I didn't take any measures, or I did, but I didn't stick to it until I stood on the electronic scale again and wondered if the scale was broken. I can't help facing the computer. The terrible thing is that you have been busy all morning, but you have done nothing. What's even more frightening is that you just keep brushing F5. This is you. No one knows yourself better than you. You think you just can't control your behavior occasionally. I want to mention such people, because I am one of them. Compared with my former friends, I think the gap is obvious.

If you are as troubled by these problems as I am. Well, you can read this book. I believe this book will give you a good explanation.

To tell the truth, when I got this book, I found that I hadn't recited English words for three consecutive days, or four or five days. I can't remember exactly how many days, because I have been avoided by a reason called "selective forgetting".

I believe that most people feel this way. You don't want to think about how many things you have put off. Of course, in the end, you have to bite the bullet and be a warrior.

I tried various methods because I couldn't stand my procrastination. Make a list, write a plan, and read a psychological book about procrastination. I can't escape from my inner torment. I just didn't go to a psychologist to talk about this problem, but I still couldn't do it. I always laugh at myself, because I am a late procrastinator, so the first time I took this book, it seemed as if I saw a life-saving medicine. Looking back now, anyone who placed hope on others actually gave up the right and obligation of self-control from the beginning.

So this book is not so much a good medicine as a diagnosis book given by a doctor, so that you can find the lesion from the root. In the past, we were always looking for ways to correct and improve our self-control, but we ignored why we became like this.

This is a course involving psychology, physiology and even economics, which can explain your problem well. The author of this book opened a course called "The Science of Willpower" for the continuing education program of Stanford University, and the participants said that it could "change their lives". Whether this course can really change your life or not, I believe that better self-control can really bring you a brand-new life.

Why is this happening? I used to think that lack of self-control was just a psychological problem. After reading this book, I found that lack of self-control is also related to physiology. So, I began to analyze my past living habits.

I always stay up late and sleep less than six hours a day. Explain to yourself that I can't sleep. In fact, my body is very tired, but my hands just can't help but brush the screen or the mobile phone. When I woke up the next day, I began to count how long I slept. Less than six hours of sleep makes me feel guilty at the beginning of a new day. I can't go on like this, and I'm one step closer to those young people who died of sudden cardiac death. When the new night came, what I said in the morning went to hell again. I don't think I'm fighting alone, and you must feel the same way when you see it here. Long-term lack of sleep causes the body and brain to fail to absorb glucose normally, and glucose is an important way to store energy. But self-control requires a certain amount of brain power, so the consequences can be imagined.

For example, I learned about the influence of dopamine on our lives in the book. Dopamine makes us crave and crave. Excessive stress will make us have an emergency response, release stress hormones, increase the excitement of dopamine neurons, and eventually lead to more temptation. It is not difficult to explain why many people want to do something that we could have resisted under pressure. Ok, have another chocolate. Chocolate can relieve stress. Ok, I visited Taobao again, but I still can't help placing an order.

Of course, all this is for a good reason. We're just trying to relieve the pressure. When you calm down, you will fall into a new round of pressure and self-blame. Look, it's a trap.

In most of my spare time, I am more like a mouse looking for an electric shock to feel the excitement, endlessly pursuing the yearning for happiness. In fact, what I pursue is not "happiness", but the desire to pursue happiness. It's just that dopamine in my body makes me unable to stop and shock the mouse hand. Open the mailbox, we are eager for new mail, refresh, and we are eager to receive some surprises in the next second. So we are eroded by desire. It can be seen that we are not only struggling with psychology, but also with physiological factors.

I am deeply benefited from the author's statement that exercise is a good medicine to improve self-control. For a while, I tried jogging to relieve stress. Well, to put it bluntly, I'm losing weight. However, after a period of jogging training, I found the hidden mystery. That is, jogging is more of a "mental exercise" for me. I remember reading Haruki Murakami's Speaking of running, what am I talking about? He described his psychological feelings when running. I also began to pay attention to my emotional changes during jogging. In the breath again and again, make a firmer decision. The feeling of relaxation and the constant pursuit on the runway make you more rational.

At the same time, this book points out the misunderstanding that most people have always had. "Everyone indulges himself sometimes, so don't be too hard on yourself." This is contrary to my usual mode of thinking. But that's the truth. We should learn to forgive ourselves. Forgive yourself for your mistakes due to lack of self-control and try to reduce the pressure caused by it. To some extent, it actually avoids a vicious circle-indulgence regrets to more serious indulgence. I have to admit, this book always surprises me, surprises me.

Since ancient times, we have said that it is either black or white. Black and white represent the two ends of things. So there is also the theory of good nature and evil nature. But why is it so absolute? When a person has evil thoughts, we call him evil. After that, when you have evil thoughts, you will feel ashamed, mentally tortured and more likely to fall into dangerous situations. But why not look directly at the darkness in life? Why deceive yourself? Whether it is black or white, we face ourselves, know ourselves and accept ourselves. Find out your desires and always remember what you really want. Only in this way can we save ourselves. The person with the strongest self-control does not gain self-control from the contest with himself, but learns how to accept the conflicting self and integrate it.

As the book says, "The angel on one shoulder is whispering to you, and the devil on the other shoulder is constantly oppressing you." All you have to do is look at them and take them for yourself. This seems to have some similarities with religion. Whether you are right or wrong, always reflect. Recognize your mistakes. Look it straight in the eye and be prepared to resist before making a mistake next time. Some self-management methods such as "fear management" and "ten-minute delay" are given in the book, which has practical significance.

We have long been used to giving credit to tomorrow, always thinking that our future self can get rid of today's bad habits and bet on tomorrow. But who can be sure of the future? What are you really like? Maybe after I put down this book, I still muddle along, I still can't get up in the morning and I still can't sleep at night. Still adhering to the consistent style of eating, drinking and having fun. Don't be afraid. I can't see anything for the time being. Let's wait a few years. Remember, you're not fighting alone. In a few years, you will see him, and you will see you.