Confucius said: "A gentleman does not want to eat enough, he is prepared for danger in times of peace and is sensitive to things, but he is cautious, honest and clean, which can be said to be studious."

Confucius said: Yan Ping is good at making friends with people and respects them for a long time. There are two explanations for this: first, Yan is good at making friends, and the longer she gets along with others, the more people feel respected; Another explanation is that Yan is good at communicating with people. The longer he gets along with others, the more he respects others.

I have personal experience with the second statement.

It is said that Haoran layman has been in this unit for two years, and he has gradually become familiar with some colleagues. One day, a group of colleagues had nothing to do and chatted together. One of them is Cai. At that time, he made fun of me. Suddenly I remembered something. I remember reading a book before, saying that someone wrote a couplet to Zeng Guofan: The son of heaven waits for the pavilion, and the "xianggong" breaks Cai Zhou. Some people say that Cai Helin's confrontation is not neat. Zeng Guofan said angrily, Cai is a turtle. What's wrong with it? Later, I looked it up in the dictionary, and the word Cai really means turtle.

So I had an idea. Take his name and say, "Do you know the origin of Cai? In ancient Chinese, Cai means turtle ... "-Friend, do you know the result after I finish? By the way, the man flew into a rage and broke up in discord. In retrospect, it was really my fault, because I made the taboo of speaking-I didn't care about human dignity. Later, I took the opportunity to express my sincere apologies to this colleague.

Language is like a sword leaning on heaven. If you hold it in the hands of martial arts experts, you can help the chivalrous and the wicked. But the most terrible thing is to let a child get this sword. He may wave at will, and if he is not careful, he will harm others and himself.

Look at the cash sentence above, "A word can prosper the country, and a word can ruin the country!" This is an emphasis on language and "sensitivity and caution" is an attitude towards language.

In ancient times, some people advocated simply saying less or even not talking. I think it's ridiculous to watch it now. We should try our best to be the master of language and let it be used in our lives. We should only be careful when talking to people. Whether talking alone or on many occasions, remember never to talk nonsense, just like a child waving a sword at random!

Another thing to note is that people in China used to say, "You forget the ceremony when you are ripe", which is really a common fault of people. Generally speaking, we can be cautious about people we just met, but once we get familiar with them over time, sometimes we have no scruples. In fact, whether you are an acquaintance or a stranger, you should maintain the dignity of others and be careful when you speak. Therefore, we should learn from Yan, "Be good at making friends with people and respect them for a long time!"

Haoran is not doing well at this point, so share these experiences with everyone!

Confucius said, "Is there any reason to be ashamed of wearing a robe?" What's the use of not asking? "Lutz recite it for a lifetime. Confucius said, "It is the Tao, so why is it hidden?"? "

The Book of Changes said: "Heaven has its ups and downs, and Gankun is certain. The humble is high and the old is high, and the expensive is low. " Yes, what the ancients said is true. Our society is not equal, but there are expensive and cheap, noble and humble. Didn't you say you were so superstitious? In other words, people are also divided into three categories.

What is noble? Whoever has power is noble, who is expensive, and who has money is expensive. A king who has no power or influence naturally feels inferior and humbled. Therefore, the waiter in the hotel will inevitably be passive to Nuo Nuo and Nuo Nuo when he meets the manager, and the doorman will always bow and scrape when he meets the rich. Like Lutz, with the rich in rags, one can rarely remain humble and humble.

In my opinion, although it is true, this is the most unreasonable place. Lao Tzu said that heaven and earth are heartless and everything is a grass dog. In the eyes of God, everyone is equal. Everyone is not born with gold when he is born. When he dies, God will not send a car to a rich official. So in the eyes of God, there is no distinction between men and women.

We humans claim to be the spirit of all things. In fact, from the perspective of billions of years, are we not poor passers-by in the universe? The universe is eternal and life is limited. What's the point of this fire?

The so-called respect and inferiority are the results from the perspective of power. In fact, what a person can do, how big an official he can be, and how much money he can earn, he can't grasp much, and he has to admit that there are a lot of fate factors. The so-called wealth is not importuned. But from the point of view of human nature, all beings are equal, and there is no distinction between nobility and inferiority.

But the real world, after all, is a world with a clear distinction between honor and inferiority. This is also a fact. Tao Yuanming had to bow and scrape when the county magistrate wanted to see his boss, but in the end he refused for five dou meters, so he lived in seclusion. This is an unavoidable philosophy. It's a bit of a passive escape. In contrast, Lutz neither lived in seclusion nor interacted with dignitaries in a humble way, which is a higher realm.

How to achieve such a state? "If you don't ask for a solution, it's not worth mentioning", that is, keep a normal heart. If you can succeed through proper efforts, you will succeed. Forget it if it doesn't work. If you don't do anything wrong, you can maintain your independence. As the saying goes, people are just without desire.

Compared with westerners, China has a stronger sense of respect and inferiority. I still remember a writer who went abroad and saw white young people doing sweeping machines and lawns. I saw the doorman open the door for the big shot with dignity. I was very surprised. In fact, it is not surprising if we admit that life is equal. No matter what one does, the essence is the same. Besides, it is remarkable that a small person can do his job well, not steal or rob, and can settle down to support his family. What is there to feel inferior about? We really should learn from others in this respect.

Therefore, when you meet big shots and rich people, don't feel inferior and have your own dignity. Life is equal and human nature is equal. Why should we feel inferior? Small people have their destiny, but small people also have their self-esteem. It is not a happy thing that we have no money and no power, but if we have no money and no power and no dignity, wouldn't it be even more lost?

Confucius said, "I am determined to learn at five out of ten, stand at thirty, be not confused at forty, know my destiny at fifty, listen to my ears at sixty, be satisfied at seventy, and not overstep my bounds."

( 1)

When I first read the Analects of Confucius, I liked the last sentence best, and I ignored all the other sentences in front. Later, I gradually discovered that the real cultivation is not easy to learn, to stand up and to be puzzled. Of course, my favorite is the last sentence, "Do what you want from your heart and don't go beyond the rules".

There is a passage in Zhuangzi: Hui Shi said there was a big tree, but it was useless. He said that Zhuangzi's theory was just like this, and it was not accepted by the world. Zhuangzi said, you have such a big tree. "Why not plant it in a land with nothing, in a vast field, wandering around doing nothing, and sleeping under it is harmless ..."

Zhuangzi's words are beautiful, but if you think about it carefully, you will know that this passage is as big and useless as Hui Shi's criticism. Why do you say that? You see, trees can find a land with nothing, a vast wilderness-in fact, strictly speaking, trees can hardly find such an environment-can people? Who can live alone without others? Nobody can. As the movie Dong Fangbubai said, Ling Huchong wants to quit the Jianghu. Ren Woxing said: "Where there are people, there are grievances. Where there are grievances, there are rivers and lakes. People are Jianghu. Where can you escape? " (Note 1)

It is human nature to yearn for freedom, but the real society is full of all kinds of tangible and intangible rules that people can't overcome, such as laws, customs, etiquette and so on. This is of course necessary for the society, but it does make people feel bound, so there are always many things in life that they want to do but can't do. If they want to say but can't say it, it is also a kind of pain in life.

There are several attitudes towards this tangible and intangible rule. Just resisting is a kind, for example, there is a saying "give me liberty or give me death" that smacks of resisting. The other is to give in, give up self completely and follow the society completely. There is also escape, such as various hermits like Tao Yuanming.

Haoran believes that these attitudes are not as wonderful as Confucius's "do whatever you want, don't overstep the rules", which is really the highest realm of life and worth yearning for. Because he not only realized the inner freedom, but also did not violate the secular rules.

(2)

This sentence is also the lofty realm of many art categories.

Take Weiqi as an example: Beginners must learn formulas, memorize and remember all kinds of changes, but all Weiqi players yearn for the realm of "flowing", and novices can only honestly use formulas to deal with all kinds of changes.

But when a novice gradually becomes a master, he may one day start to innovate his own tricks and start to play cards outside the routine. He may take his next son to Tianyuan at first. For the opponent's moves, he will not memorize formulas to deal with them. He will analyze what is going on in chess and then decide where it is. At this time, he will think that chess can be played in any way, so he is likely to play a lot of things that are not in the formula, which is a great surprise. At this time, he can feel the artistic conception of flowing water and enjoy the happiness he wants.

However, the master keeps growing, and maybe one day, he will reach another realm: when playing chess, he will still follow his inclinations and follow the crowd, but in the eyes of others, the trick to deal with it is the trick in a certain formula-but he himself is unaware of it and has long forgotten the formula. This is the realm of "doing what you want without overstepping the bounds".

For another example, beginners must practice various postures and fingering, which makes beginners very painful. But when a real master plays the piano, will he always pay attention to rules such as fingering or posture? No, he just devoted himself to music and enjoyed the wonderful journey of music. However, in the eyes of others, his fingering and posture can't be wrong. This is also the performance of "not exceeding what you think".

Confucius said, "You must know your parents' age. One is happy and the other is afraid. "

This is Confucius' filial piety. Filial piety is a very important topic in The Analects of Confucius, and it also occupies a very important position in the traditional culture of China. Therefore, there are many places in the Analects of Confucius that talk about filial piety, such as "My parents are here, I don't travel far" and "three years of changing my father can be described as filial piety."

Friend, have you found out that there is an old saying in China that "a father is kind and a son is filial"? Why do you only see the discussion of filial piety in the Analects of Confucius, but you can't see the content of father's love for mother's love? Look, you can't find a word.

Why did Confucius only mention his son's filial piety and not his father's kindness? My understanding is that it is natural for parents to love their children, and there is no need to mention it. China's parents, in particular, have a deeper love for their children, but they seldom express it directly.

Take myself for example, when I really realized the love of my parents, I was already twenty-four or five years old. I remember before that, my parents were worried about my life everywhere. Like other parents, this worry is often too much. On the contrary, I feel that my freedom has been disturbed, just like most other children, and I even feel disgusted with my parents.

At the age of twenty-four, I suddenly fell ill, my heart beat fast and I felt very uncomfortable. The family panicked and rushed to the local hospital. The doctor suspected that it was a heart attack and said that he would observe it for one night and transfer it to the best local hospital the next day. I was lying in a hospital bed with my mother beside me. That night, she was afraid of my accident and didn't sleep a wink. Now she forgot the reason at that time. Anyway, later she said, "Son, you have to hold on. If something happens to you, it's meaningless for mom to live. " I really can't believe that my mother, who seldom speaks, would say such a thing to me. At that time, I suddenly felt that in such a world, in another person's heart, I was so important that my life was even equal to her life. This person is my mother. I was very sad at that time. I forced myself to say flatly, "Life and death are life. If something happens to me, you shouldn't raise me. " "She shook her head and said," don't say it again. "At that time, I didn't see her tears, but I could really feel the tears flashing in her heart."

Later I went to Harbin for treatment. When I was about to leave the hospital, my father accompanied me to a drugstore at the door to buy medicine because there was no such medicine in the hospital. At that time, the doctor prescribed three kinds of drugs, some expensive and some cheap. After my father arrived at the drugstore, he chose the expensive one without hesitation. In those days, my father caught a cold and coughed all day. I said it was just the right time for you to buy some cold medicine, and he said yes, so the enthusiastic waiter soon put more than ten kinds of medicine on the table, and my dad picked and picked, only taking a box of cough medicine and nothing else. I said no, I just kept coughing and insisted on adding cold medicine, and the waiter followed, but he was stubborn and just didn't listen, so he hurried to pay the money. I said to the waiter, I'm sorry, he is too stubborn. The waiter said "it doesn't matter" while cleaning up, and then said with emotion: "Young man, I have been selling medicine here for more than ten years. According to my observation, most old people buy medicines for young people, which are good and expensive, and choose cheap ones when they buy them themselves. " I looked back at my father. He is walking towards the cashier, and I can only see his back. At that time, I suddenly remembered Mr. Zhu Ziqing's back, which I learned at school ... fatherly love is always so deep and subtle.

So my feeling is that parents' love for their children is almost a kind of nature, especially in China. I am not afraid that parents don't love their children, and I am afraid that parents love their children too much. China's parents are not as straightforward as foreigners, and children often don't feel it unless there are special circumstances. So sometimes I even appreciate this disease, and I can know how much my parents love me.

Therefore, it is normal for The Analects not to talk about parents' love, because there is really no need to talk about it. What needs to be said is to remind filial piety. Why? Because "infatuated parents for a long time, who has seen filial piety for children and grandchildren!" You see, Confucius, for example, seems to be wasting time. How can a child not know the age of his parents? Then try walking down the street and asking anyone, how old is your child? He will definitely give you an accurate monthly answer, but ask the young man how old his parents are. What year were you born? See for yourself how much you can answer.

The year of parents actually represents how much children care about their parents.

Let's review it. Our parents care so much about us, but how much do we care about our parents? Do you know when your parents were born? Know what they like to eat? Do you know what kind of programs they like to watch? Do you know what your parents want?

The Analects of Confucius says that filial piety is the foundation of benevolence, and filial piety is to understand and love your parents first.