1. Be good at communicating with others

Yan Ying was a politician of the same generation as Confucius and was respected by Confucius. One day, after Yan Ying's coachman returned home, his wife asked for a divorce. The coachman was puzzled.

His wife said, "I saw you driving past the door today through the crack in the door. Yan Ying is so short. After becoming prime minister and famous among the princes, he is still so simple and unpretentious, and he is inferior to others; but you are tall. Ba Chi is just his servant, but you are so high-spirited and arrogant. You have no future, so I want a divorce." After hearing these words, the coachman became modest and cautious and worked hard. After Yan Ying learned about it, he also worked hard to train him. Later, the coachman became a doctor. Confucius especially admired Yan Zi's way of making friends. The longer Yan Zi made friends, the more respectful and courteous he became, and the more others respected him, so that he could do it from beginning to end. Therefore, Confucius said sincerely: "Yan Pingzhong is good at making friends for a long time. And respect him."

2. The attitude of a gentleman

Gongsun Chi, a disciple of Confucius, went to Qi as an envoy. Ran Qiu asked Confucius for some grain subsidies on behalf of his mother. Confucius said: "Give her six measures and four liters." Ran Qiu asked for more. Confucius said: "Give her another two dou and four liters." Ran Qiu thought it was too little, so he gave Gongsun Chi's mother more. Confucius said: "Gongsun Chi went to the state of Qi, with fat horses and light fur, and a majestic appearance. I have heard that a gentleman only provides help in times of trouble, not the icing on the cake." Helping others in need does not help the rich, and helping young people in need does not help the poor. This is The attitude of a gentleman.

3. To lose one's words is to lose one's words

Confucius said that if you do not say something to others that you can say, it is a loss of someone; if you say something to others that you cannot say to others, it is a loss of words. This is a faux pas. A wise man neither loses people nor loses words. When he was in the countryside, Confucius had a gentle and courteous appearance, and behaved like a man who was not good at words;

When he was offering sacrifices to ancestral temples and discussing government affairs, he was very good at discerning and answering questions fluently; when talking to senior officials, he was fair and correct. When arguing, he dares to tell the truth; when talking to his subordinates, he talks eloquently, in a friendly and joyful manner; when the king looks at the court, he is respectful, yet dignified and moderate, and neither arrogant nor relaxed. Speaking according to the person's character and situation requires kindness, wisdom and courage.

4. Continuous self-improvement

After Confucius left the State of Cao and went to the State of Song, he practiced etiquette with his disciples under a big tree. Sima Huan of Song Dynasty wanted to kill Confucius, so he cut down the big tree. A disciple urged Confucius: "Let's go quickly."

Confucius said: "Since God has made me possess the nature of saintliness, what can Huan do to me?" Don't be greedy when things are going well. Adversity brings joy, everything is an opportunity to hone yourself, have justice in your heart, strive for self-improvement, be grateful to Huan_, and be grateful to your opponents.

5. He was so angry that he forgot to eat

A county official in Chu State asked a disciple of Confucius for his opinion on Confucius. The disciple was dull and cautious and said nothing, so the county official could only feel dismayed. And back. After Confucius learned about it, he was very unhappy and complained: "Why don't you say that I am a good scholar who is so angry that he forgets to eat and is happy and forgets to worry about worries."

The disciples understood immediately after hearing this and said, " Teacher, I was confused. Now I finally understand. If someone asks me again in the future, I will answer according to the teacher's instructions." Confucius felt comfortable and smiled happily: "Okay, okay.

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