One day, ] saw a program interviewing actor Gao Yuanyuan, who had not appeared for a long time.

The theme is "I am 39 years old, and I am ready to accept my mediocrity."

Gao Yuanyuan, 39 years old, with short hair and wearing a blue dress, still looks charming in the camera She is very beautiful, but she generously admitted that she has no talent for acting and decided to accept that she is a mediocre person.

She said, "When you feel that you have entered an expectation that you have for yourself, and you fail to meet that expectation, during that process, you will feel that you are actually a mediocre person."

The 40-year-old Yao Chen also used a self-deprecating way to talk about his embarrassment and confusion as a mother of two children and a middle-aged actress in the "Starry Sky Speech" program.

She said, "Tencent came to me to talk about the power of women in this issue, saying that I am a female representative who is independent, confident, tenacious and successful. After calming down, I realized that I didn't seem to be the person they were looking for. Because I racked my brains and tried my best to recall the moments when I was independent, confident, perseverant and successful, but all that popped up were scenes of hesitation, frustration, powerlessness and failure.”

This is true even for female celebrities, let alone ordinary women like us. .

Is it gender, the curse of age, or something else that affects our inner feelings and decisions?

1. Where does the confusion come from?

Goddess Gao Yuanyuan said, "There are many doors in my heart. I expect there are many treasures inside the doors. However, once or twice when you try to open the door, you find that the door is empty. Then, there was nothing."

She had to come up with the answer: "From that moment on, I decided to accept it."

The cheerful and straightforward Yao Chen. She said, "Since I gave birth to two children, my graceful figure has lost shape and my IQ has also dropped. There are fewer and fewer dramas on the market suitable for this age group, and my career has stagnated because of this."

She said I have to say "Choose what you can bear, bear what you choose."

Whether it is age, body, or cognition, it seems that every woman will experience from physical to psychological Changes:

From a face with collagen to a face that requires a lot of essence to shine;

From being able to stay up late talking and still be energetic to having to work overtime on weekends, no matter how good the job benefits are. You can let go;

From being carefree and carefree to taking care of the whole family;

From being unable to stand the loneliness of being alone to preferring to be alone time.

At this age, our confusion seems to be more real and pragmatic.

No matter how well-maintained you are, your youthful appearance remains, your physical strength is fading due to lack of exercise;

Bad temper caused by lack of energy, sub-health caused by busy work;

Worrying about that fine line that I accidentally saw, making the disobedient child cry anxiously;

Suffering from real economic pressure and worrying about unknown health Risk, hard work in so-called intimate relationships.

All our embarrassments and confusions actually come from the trivialities of life in front of us, and the seemingly knowable but not completely certain future.

2. How should we solve the puzzle?

First of all, psychologically we need to learn to "accept".

Acceptance is "the best gentleness".

Learn to be tolerant of others, give others some space, put yourself in the other person’s shoes, and be understanding and considerate.

Learn to accept yourself, accept your imperfections, and set limits for yourself when necessary. Sometimes you can only do so much, so don’t worry about it.

Li Yueliang said, "Without a stable heart, you cannot see the beautiful scenery in life and taste the taste of happiness."

At the same time, accept your own fragility and this The feeling of powerlessness that may come with age.

Madeleine Inge said, "When we were children, we thought that when we grew up, we would no longer be vulnerable. However, growing up is a process of accepting vulnerability. Living itself is a kind of vulnerability . ”

This vulnerability comes from our understanding that many things are not what you want.

We need to learn to let go at the right time, because at this age, we have more important things waiting for us to deal with, and greater responsibilities to bear.

We learn to cherish every inch of beautiful time, and we cannot bear to squander it.

Secondly, we can move "slower".

At the age of 40, we always feel that there is not enough time and there are too many things to do. But many times, we inadvertently fall into a state of confusion.

At this age, it seems that we are successful at work and our children are just growing up, but it seems that we still want to become better, or we are most afraid of change and being unable to control it.

So, we continued to run on the road. Sometimes, this wastes time that should be stopped and enjoyed.

How long have we not stopped to look at the blue sky, listen to a nostalgic song, read a favorite novel, and take a quick trip?

Gao Yuanyuan was asked in the video "Do you feel anxious when you are 40 years old?" She smiled while driving and said, "You should not be anxious at the age of 30, nor should you be anxious at the age of 40." Be anxious. None of this has happened yet, which proves that it is still possible.”

Yes, as long as you like it, you can start, and as long as you have expectations, you can chase it bravely. What you do at what age you are.

Regardless of whether it is late or not, enjoying the process is the calmness we should have at this age;

Looking forward to changes and embracing the unknown is the attitude we should have.

Finally, learn to "borrow strength" and "be alone" to make us more calm and happy.

At this age, we have the most multiple roles and identities.

Wife, mother, daughter-in-law or daughter, boss or subordinate.

We need to switch between different roles and make timely adjustments.

We will be more tired, both physically and mentally.

Especially psychologically.

This kind of tiredness is not only related to objective reality, but also related to our unwillingness to lower our posture and be strong at our age.

We are afraid of being seen by others as our fragile and weak side, including in front of our loved ones.

We think that is giving in, that is imperfect.

But there is a saying that "women who act coquettishly have the best life."

It would be unjustifiable for a woman of this age not to be kind to herself.

But "be good to yourself" is really not a matter of words.

But we are clear about what we want and what we cannot want. We can "afford it", but we must "let it go". We want to be perfect, but in fact, completion is more important.

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