01

In the world of love, there is no room for three people. We all know these truths. But there will always be people who are unable to be satisfied in marriage and choose to have an ambiguous relationship with the opposite sex outside, until it develops into an extramarital affair.

A reader left a message saying:

“I can’t communicate with my wife at home. If I can’t say a few words, it will turn into a quarrel. I have trouble with her outside. She would never quarrel, she would patiently listen to my talk, analyze it for me, and help me relieve my stress.

At home, I could never enjoy this kind of treatment. The endless quarrels made me physically and mentally exhausted. I just want to escape. But I am not alone. I am old and young, and I can’t just live on my own.

So, even if I can’t get along with my wife, I will leave her in life. If I don’t leave her, I can’t throw away her outside. She is my spiritual sustenance.”

The reader’s message made it very clear that marriage brought him emotional depression. His wife provided him with convenience in life. The extramarital affair brought him emotional comfort, but it could not bring convenience to his life. After summarizing, he believed that neither side could give up.

As a man, he not only wants a happy family, but also wants to have a lover outside. How can there be such a good thing in this world? Don’t you understand that you can’t have your cake and eat it too?

No one wants to live with a selfish person for a lifetime. Selfish people are destined to be alone.

02

Mr. Wu (pseudonym) came to visit and said that he had been in big trouble recently. He spent every day in anxiety, could not eat well or sleep well, and was exhausted.

Mr. Wu is 42 years old this year. Through communication, he learned that his wife was divorcing him again because he had cheated on her.

A year ago, Mr. Wu met a woman named Ali (pseudonym). Ali was 35 years old, a few years younger than him. She was beautiful, smart, capable, well-spoken, and knew how to figure out men's thoughts and talk to her. Together, full of passion.

After several contacts, sparks sparked between the two. At that time, Mr. Wu and his wife were at odds with each other all day long because of trivial matters, and even the smallest thing would cause a huge quarrel. After meeting Ali, he discovered that life could still be so easy.

When you are stressed, go to the bar to drink some wine and talk to her about your worries. With the music, you will feel relaxed. When your body is tired, she will put hot water for him and take a bath. , after taking a bath, give him a full-body massage...

Since the affair, he didn't even pay attention to his wife's complaints and nagging about him, and occasionally greeted him with a smile. He wasn't She didn't want to argue, but was too lazy to argue, and her thoughts were all on Ali.

His wife saw that he no longer argued with her, and the number of quarrels with him became less frequent. He is also fortunate that his current living situation is really good. His wife no longer finds fault with him, and he can be free and easy outside again.

03

The good times did not last long. His wife found out about his cheating and wanted a divorce. Ali told him that she was getting older after being with him for a year. , let him choose one of the two, either divorce or break up.

He doesn’t want a divorce, let alone a breakup. He is afraid of going back to his old life and quarreling with his wife every day. While coaxing Ali not to break up, he told his wife that he had broken up with a third party and begged her to forgive her.

His behavior simply won’t work.

When the wife learned that she had cheated on her for the second time, she was even more determined to divorce. Similarly, Ali was also offended. In order to retaliate against him, Ali maxed out his credit card, borrowed a sum of money from him, and disappeared.

When everything returned to the starting point, he discovered that the kind of relationship he thought could bring him relaxation and happiness outside of marriage was really ugly once the relationship broke out. In the end, it was just a joke. . After enjoying a moment of pleasure, a family was disintegrated. If you look carefully, you really deserve it.

Weiqing consultant provided analysis and guidance to Mr. Wu:

Salvage the marriage relationship, to a large extent, depends on the attitude of the wife.

The moment you cheat on her, you have abandoned your wife.

You might say, I'm not divorced, I'm still in this family, why did I abandon her?

When you are at home but your heart is not at home, your marriage is like a pool of stagnant water. Your thoughts are all spent on outsiders, and you don't care about your wife's feelings at all. What is this called abandonment?

From a moral perspective, this kind of behavior is the most hateful, typical of eating from the bowl and looking at the pot!

Women are emotional and consider things most comprehensively. Few women can leave their husbands without hesitation after discovering his cheating. For the sake of their children, themselves, and the family, they will swallow it. With these grievances, I chose to continue living with the only glimmer of hope.

At this time, her heart is at its most fragile and can be broken by a single blow. However, you apologized and asked for forgiveness, but did not act in accordance with the promises you fulfilled, which chilled her heart. Doomed to be responsible for their own actions.

Emotional mentor Tu Lei once said: When a woman leaves a man, it is not that she dislikes his incompetence or that he has no money, but that she has no hope of being with this man.

When a marriage becomes a decoration and her partner cheats on her again and again, she will definitely be unable to continue to manage the marriage. After all, one person cannot support this marriage.

If you want your wife to change her mind and forgive yourself, you can’t just say sorry and you will be forgiven. If you say too many words to apologize, it will be cheap.

If you want your family to return to the joy and laughter of the past, stop taking chances, show your sincerity, use all your patience to manage, influence your wife, and rekindle her hope in you. , this is what you, as a man, should do.

I hope that when you encounter problems in your marriage, you will not run away from them, let alone have extramarital affairs as a substitute. Love each other more, and any difficulties will be easily solved. Come on.