He started taking drugs when he was very young, so he suffered from many diseases, including stomach trouble. Kurt left a suicide note, in which he wrote: "This is the voice of a fool who has experienced many vicissitudes. He actually prefers to be a weak and childish complainer. ..... I haven't felt angry from listening to music, writing music and reading and writing for many years. I feel an indescribable sense of guilt about these things ... In fact, I can't deceive you, I can't deceive any of you ... The biggest sin I can think of is to deceive people and pretend ... I have to be slightly numb to regain the enthusiasm I had as a child ... There is goodwill in all of us, and I just love people too much. Too much love makes me feel really fucking melancholy, a slightly melancholy, sensitive, ungrateful, Pisces Jesus-like figure! Why don't you enjoy it with a clear conscience? I don't know. ..... I don't have any passion ... It's better to burn calmly than to linger. ..... "It can be seen from his suicide note that he has gone through many vicissitudes, and he has no yearning and love for music as a child.