Optimize the family environment
1. Parents' role as role models
Some people say that the family is the first classroom in life, and parents are the first teachers in life. Others say that the family is a banner for children, and parents are a mirror for children. In short, parents are the people who have the earliest and deepest influence on children and are the earliest and most imitated images of children. Every word and deed and every move of parents have a subtle influence on children.
Children grow up in the arms of their parents from birth. Parents not only give their children the inheritance of physiological genetic advantages, but also shape their personality. From children in the early days of chaos to adults who learn to see the world from their own eyes, this growth process can not be separated from parents' words and deeds. Parents must start with what they say and do in their daily lives to educate their children well.
A friend once told me a conversation with his son as a joke. The friend said, "Son, you always play video games these days, can't you control yourself and put your energy into your study?" The son replied, "You still talk about me. Grandpa often tells you not to play mahjong outside. Why do you always play all night?" All of a sudden, this friend was speechless. It can be seen that children often compare their behaviors with their parents, and even some improper behaviors of their parents often become "excuses" for some children to excuse their mistakes. In daily life, parents should pay great attention to their words and deeds, often remind each other, communicate with each other, strive to establish a good image, give their children a healthy and positive influence, and give them a beneficial influence on little things. For example, parents should be dedicated and motivated in their work; Treat people with enthusiasm, generosity and sincerity; We should treat things equally and match words with deeds. In addition, parents should pay attention to put an end to all kinds of "inappropriate" behaviors in front of their children. For example, don't talk about money in front of children too much to avoid some negative effects.
Some people say that children are the refracting mirrors of parents. Children can reflect parents' philosophy and principles of dealing with people. Indeed, it is difficult for a selfish parent to cultivate a dedicated child, and it is also difficult for a narrow-minded parent to cultivate a generous child. Parents' demonstration of their children should be reflected everywhere and bit by bit in daily life.
Tolstoy famously said, "All education, or 999% of education, comes down to role models and parents' own correction and perfection." This is to educate people and educate themselves first, and every parent should keep this in mind, which plays a vital role in perfecting children's personality.
2. Education should begin with the transformation of mothers
Since ancient times, our society has neglected the education of mothers more than that of fathers, thinking that mothers are responsible for "nurturing" and fathers are responsible for "teaching". From the "Three Character Classics", it is enough to explain that "the father failed to teach".
all people are born by their mothers and grow up under their care. So the fate of mankind is in the hands of the mother. The great educator Froebel once said: "The fate of the people is not so much in the hands of those in power as in the hands of their mothers. Therefore, we must try our best to inspire our mothers, the educators of mankind."
An optimistic mother brings positive and beautiful influence to her children, while a mother who is in a blue mood all day brings negative influence to her children.
It is certain that every successful child has a perfect education from an excellent mother. Mother's education can't be replaced by any education. If we ignore mother's education, all our education will become rootless.
Therefore, mothers should take their fate into their own hands, strive for self-improvement and improve their own quality in an all-round way. Even if they can't achieve impressive achievements in their careers, a positive attitude towards life itself is an education and encouragement for children.
Wuhan Women's Federation and news organizations made a special survey to select unpopular mothers. The following are the results of children's evaluation:
Mothers who love playing mahjong; A slovenly mother; A mother who loves to quarrel and hit people; A mother whose child is sick is not at home; A nagging mother who cares about everything; A mother who can't cook; A penniless mother; An ignorant mother; Don't ask right and wrong, blame people's mother; Mother who said the wrong thing in front of the teacher; A mother who often stares at her children; A mother who does not care about the world; A mother who sow discord between relatives; A mother who smokes and drinks alcohol; A mother who has a lover outside; A mother who is unfilial to her grandparents.
3. Treat children's "centrifugal" tendency correctly
As children enter adolescence, due to the gradual maturity of physiology and the broadening of vision, the sense of autonomy is gradually formed, and the obedience of childhood no longer exists. At this time, children began to form their own recognition of life and society, and the "self" value in the world outlook was born, which often collided with their parents' subjective assumptions and traditional tutoring. If parents do not pay attention to the formation of children's independent personality and the new changes that they begin to make the transition to adulthood, and still ask them according to their childhood habits, children will be very uncomfortable and even have a strong rebellious mentality.
parents must fully understand their children's "sense of distance" and "centrifugal" tendency, and at the same time actively "coordinate" and guide them correctly.