"Listener friends, I am a good man, I am - Zeng Xiaoxian." (Signature slogan...)

Hu Yifei: "Zhan Bo and I used to be conjoined Baby, our brains were still the same until we were two years old."

Zeng Xiaoxian: "Yes, and then the doctor cut the whole brain to Zhan Bo." (...This is quite damaging. ’s~~)

Zeng Xiaoxian: “We received a special letter from the newly married couple, the founders of our apartment.”

< p>Zhanbo (extremely depressed): "Why did you kill someone (the founder) again?" (Zhanbo is a simple~~good boy...)

Xian: I am not a casual person.

Fei: You are not a human being if you act casually. (~~This is even more damaging...)

. "I will not fall down twice in the same place!"

"Of course, green turtles are all Get down on all fours and throw it down for me to see." (...Fortunately, Xiaoxian found his way back in the end...)

Zeng Xiaoxian: "Narnia Sanatorium, one shot packs a therapeutic effect. Good, don’t be irritated and go to bed early. You’ll spend less money with the 20% discount. During the nationwide promotion period, the breaking price is only 998. You can be admitted immediately. You will also receive a gift of an eight-star and eight-arrow diamond-encrusted kitchen knife. Narnia Sanatorium. The effect is good. (In the end, Xiaoxian took out a golden finger) (~~~It’s really shocking = =)

Xiaoxian: Aluo told Lili that he lost your mother during his trip to Antarctica last year. , now click on Sun Nan's "Come Back Soon" for you. (Haha~~This paragraph is so funny...)

Passerby: I fell in love with my colleague Azhi

Passer: But I didn’t tell him

Passer: I told my other colleague Ah Hao

Passer: Ah Hao promised me not to tell others

Passer-by: But my colleague A De told me

Passer-by: Ah Hao secretly told another colleague, A Lin

Passer-by: A Lin was with A Zhi’s former girlfriend again Alan is very familiar

Passer: I'm afraid A Lin will tell Alan

Passer: Then Alan will go back and tell Azhi

Passer: This will make me very embarrassed< /p>

Passerby: Fortunately, Alan is in love with A De now

Passer: So I went to find A De to help me solve this problem

Passer: A De and I said Alan and him had broken up

Passer: He is now on good terms with Alin and asked me to go find Alin

Passer: But Alin told me that Ah Hao actually has no Didn’t say anything to him

Passer: Who should I believe now that I’m fainted

Zeng Xiaoxian: Ah Ou?

Passer: I mean Ah. Zhi is not A'ou, A'ou is my colleague from another department

Passer: A'ou is A-lin's younger brother

Passer: But I can't tell him that the person I like is Your brother’s girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend (confused~)

Passer: This makes the relationship even more confusing

Zeng Xiaoxian: Ah!

Passer: Ah T?

Passenger: How do you know there is a colleague named Ah T in our company?

Passenger: He has a grudge against A-Lin, maybe because he has a crush on Alan< /p>

Passers-by: But Ah T and Ah Hao have a good relationship (everyone is upset~~~)

Xiao Xian’s imagination: Dear, drink milk, drink milk, drink, why don’t you Drink! Sharapova, why are you crying again? I told you that I don’t know where your mother is in Albania or Algeria, God knows, with your biological father.

Ronaldo, come down here and don’t treat Zidan like a horse! And you, Alibaba, take Ayumi Hamasaki outside to play. Is the refrigerator a hide-and-seek place? ! I'm going to beat you, Beckham. Why are you peeing downstairs on the balcony? ! And you, did you take my sleeping pills as candy again, Jordan! (= = Everyone falls again~~)

Lisa: If I interview him (Xiaoxian), it will waste my time. If I don’t interview him and he stalks me, it will waste more of my time. ! ! ! I finally understood what "the most humble person is invincible!" (Xiao Xian initially thought that this "queen-level" boss was too easy to deal with~~ but he was so cold...)

I am dead and I have something to burn. (~~Han)

Yifei~Little Feifei~~Feifei Feifei~~~~ (...Haha~~Is there anyone who wants a girl like this...)< /p>

Wanyu: Was he so handsome that he was hacked? ! How could someone call this name? I guess this person must be ugly in reality!

Xiao Xian: This person is me! (...)

Making chocolate …

Yifei: I will let you eat it first. If the poison does not kill you, I will mass-produce it... So Xiaoxian~~

I have thought up the advertising words for you... …

Feilu brand milk powder~ After drinking it, my waist no longer hurts, my legs don’t hurt, and my heart doesn’t even beat~ (match his body language... squirt~~)

Breakup Declaration

Xiaoxian: Think about the scene where you sit next to her, and then she still laughs with you without knowing anything. Then you speak, she collapses, and then bursts into tears, and then the two of you hug each other and cry to death. Finally, you have to tell her that it is impossible for us, so you should go buy a cucumber!

Zi Qiao: This is a routine procedure for breaking up, but it will never happen to you.

Xiao Xian: Why?

Zi Qiao: Because she is Laura, have you ever seen a person with a chain-link boat getting seasick? So I think the situation should be like this. You talk to her, she looks at you quietly, you collapse, and then burst into tears, and then she pulls you into her arms and says righteously, "Stop crying, go to sleep." Bar! I have to go to work tomorrow! Don't talk nonsense when you're full!

Wan Yu and Zhan Bo: Agree! (~~~This is very sweaty and speechless~~)

Xiaoxian: Are you sure you can see it clearly this time?

Mika: Of course! It has a hard shell and six legs. , like a cockroach!

Guangu: And he still has the characteristics of a mouse, gray fur, and a long tail.

Xiaoxian: Hey, wait a minute Wait, what is it? A cockroach or a mouse?

Meijia: After our research and verification, it is a cockroach mouse!

Xiaoxian: What!?

Guangu: It can also be called Mouse Xiaoqiang.

Xiaoxian: You mean it’s a mouse, but its name is Xiaoqiang?!

Meijia: No! It’s two A comprehensive mutation of two kinds of creatures.

Guangu: Uh... a synthetic mutation!

Xiao Xian: That’s ridiculous. How can mammals and insects be combined?

p>

Sekiya: We can't find any other reasonable explanation.

Mika: There is such a possibility. There was a drunk cockroach who met a mouse who had just fallen out of love. Then they...

Xiao Xian: Oh, it's possible. It could also be that a drunk ant met a lovelorn elephant, and the ant became pregnant. Elephant's child! (~~Xiao Xian's humor is very cold and shocking...)

To his ex-girlfriend Laura: You can walk around in my world, but you are not allowed You are running around in my world. (~~Well said!!)

Xiao Xian turned around and left the theater...

Guangu: I’m out of my mind ( Shanghai dialect)

Yifei: It’s so awkward (Japanese for “that’s it”) (sweat!)

Xiao Xian: Don’t you think this number is ridiculous to some extent? Can it compete with 114? (...Speaking of Zhanbo~~)

Yifei: As the saying goes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so what is in the eyes of beauty?

Zeng Xiaoxian: Eye poop! (.. .Jokes....)

Hello everyone, I am a good man, your new Xiaoxian, and my former friend!

(Xiao Xian said it when he was on TV for the first time~~others were stunned..)

One hundred kinds of people have one hundred kinds of opinions, and you can’t let all of them Everyone is satisfied, because not all people are human (Xiaoxian’s expression~~)

Wanyu: He said he is the director of the station

Zeng Xiaoxian: It’s so ridiculous, now There was actually someone with the surname Tai. It was funny for a while before I realized it~~

In the car. . Yifei, Zhanbo, Ziqiao and Xiaoxian. .

Xiao Xian said: There are between 3 and 4.5 men in our car.

Everyone asked: Why?

Xiao Xian: Yifei counts as two, Ziqiao and I count as one, and Zhanbo counts as half.

Exhibition question: What about 4.5. .

Xiaoxian: Yifei sometimes turns into a woman

...... (Xiaoxian gets a beating)

Yifei: How was the show?

Xiao Xian: Great, great, indescribable, incomparable.

Wanyu: Really?

Xiao Xian: Very loud and fake (he is a real man~~does not flatter his friends!)

My whole soul has been sublimated. Now I feel that my soul is better than yours. A despicable and shameless guy who is a despicable and shameless guy is much, much, much, much more noble (~~of course he also deserves a beating sometimes~~~)

You really have a panoramic view here - everyone sighed unanimously when they saw Xiaoxian's new home (~~I'm convinced...)

Hello everyone, I, Hu Hansan, am back! ! (...there are endless types again..)

People are afraid of being famous, pigs are afraid of getting strong, and dead pigs are not afraid of being scalded in boiling water! (~~~ There are also "Ah! My Achilles tendon is strained" "~~)

Zhan Bo said to Zeng Xiaoxian that your ruins are being rebuilt and your battlefield is reopening. Your life is being reshaped and your soul is being reborn.

Wanyu: You are retaking your high school mathematics, and your parents are remarrying. (.....squirt~~~)

I have 52 minutes, 30 kilometers away from the TV station, help me calculate how I want to run? After a string of numbers...

Ziqiao: Congratulations on tying the world record of 9.6 seconds set by a black Jamaican! (~~There are also times of bad luck~~)

When hosting a radio show, he said: "Parents cannot call their children little bastards because this is genetically disadvantageous to the parents." (.. .Correct~!!)

The negative review rate of the program hosted by the host is 98%... The positive rate has increased by 2% from last month... And there is not a single advertisement~~ (Sweat!! )

Hu Yifei offered incense to her ancestors and told them that Zhan Bo had finally become a man. Zeng Xiaoxian: You just offer incense. Why are you bowing to Jay Chou’s photo? (~~~Speechless)

Lisa: (pointing to Zeng Xiaoxian’s face) It’s not a software problem, you should change the monitor! (...Xiaoxian said he couldn't win against her~~)

Chen Meijia: "Are you the women's chairperson of the apartment residents' committee under the subdistrict office?"

Zeng Xiaoxian (angry) (Ground): "Vice Chairman!"

Chen Meijia: "Ah! Vice Chairman~~ He is no longer a priest. Can we stay in the apartment?"

Zeng Xiaoxian: " Yes!"

Chen Meijia (excited): "Full water and electricity, and half the rent!"

Zeng Xiaoxian: "Of course!"

Chen Meijia: "Ah!~!~So handsome! I love you!"

Zeng Xiaoxian: "Wait a minute! Your boyfriend.........English is really good" (....What the hell~ ~)

Xiao Xian: "A man will not be bad if he has money, but a sow will become a monster when she climbs a tree!" (I'm silent about this...)

Zhan Bo wants to follow Xiao Xian Xian bought Transformers and asked for a face-to-face transaction

Xiao Xian refused and said that face-to-face transactions were not good

Zhan Bo said: "I can mask myself, or you can mask me!" (~~~Xiao Xian is speechless~~)

Haha, I really like watching Love Apartment too~

When will the third part be released? . . . . . . . .