1. We are still searching

"Looking and searching, deserted and miserable."

Cangshan is speechless, regardless of time. I was born searching for the spiritual homeland. I know that an ideal city whispers to me across time and space, and I am standing at the ferry crossing at a loss. "Where to go?" I looked for the source of the voice. "Where to cross?" It sounded again, heavy and pervasive like a cold wind, making my delicate body tremble.

"I'm looking." I told it.

It allowed me to meet you on the road of searching, those lonely souls buried under the mud of history. I know you are also looking for that spiritual homeland.

Please carry me through those sentimental years, and carry me to the yellowing spring and autumn. Confucius, I saw you on a dusty path. At the age of sixty-three, you are still thin. Nine years of traveling around the world have exhausted your efforts, but failed to make you famous. "You are so angry that you forget to eat, you are happy with the worries of death, and you don't know that old age is coming." You describe yourself with a smile. Even though the dust has changed your appearance, I know you have been searching all your life. The ideal of "benevolent government" has turned into gravel after nine years of grinding, but you persisted and searched, so future generations, together with your Confucianism, will remember your figure hidden in the ancient road of the setting sun.

Please ferry me through those sentimental years, ferry me to the distant Tang Dynasty. Du Fu, I found you in that quiet and dilapidated thatched cottage. The hardships and hatred have stained your temples like frost. The continuous war and the embarrassment of life have finally dragged down the footsteps you have been looking for all your life, but they cannot hide your bright eyes. "There are tens of thousands of vast buildings, which can shelter all the poor people in the world." I understand why those eyes that have been filled with tears are only looking towards the peach blossom garden in your dream. The result of searching is the ruin of the country, mountains and rivers. I see you are tired. The red maples on the trees fell like tears, dyeing the water of the moat red.

Please carry me through those sentimental years, and carry me to the gloomy late Qing Dynasty. Wang Guowei, look at the lotus flowers in the Tsinghua University Garden, how gorgeous they are blooming under the nourishment of your life. They said that your suicide was "a sacrifice for the Qing Dynasty and a corpse remonstrance", but you have already said: "In fifty years, the only thing you owe is death. As of this incident, you have no more humiliation!" How do they know that you are not dying for the Qing Dynasty? But Qing culture. You are born for academics, pursue academics all your life, and finally die for academics! The Northern Expeditionary Army is overwhelming in the "Ten Thousand Drums and Horns", and you seem to see your ideals and the symbols of the old Qing Dynasty being uprooted. "The origin of life and death is empty, and the country is overwhelmed by the east wind." I stared at a pool of clear water in Kunming Lake, and I wanted to ask, Mr. Wang, have you ever found the spiritual hometown?

I was still standing at the ferry in confusion, and I saw people walking by in a hurry. They are all searching. Their destinations may be different, whether they are happiness, love, family affection, or wealth, but I know that everything ultimately belongs to their spiritual homeland.

Then I understood why it allowed me to see you pursuing your destiny alone in your life, and your souls returned because of your search, thus becoming immortal.

We are still looking. However, even if what we find is just a handful of dust from our spiritual hometown, it will consume our whole life.