Once, a writer was traveling with two friends, Al and Matthew.
When the trio passed a cliff, Matthew slipped and he was dying. Clever Al grabbed his skirt and rescued him.
In order to remember this kindness forever, Matthew carved this line on a big stone nearby: Al saved Matthew's life on a certain day in a certain year.
So the three of them went on and came to a river a few days later. Perhaps because of the fatigue of the long journey, Al and Matthew quarreled over a trivial matter, and Al slapped Matthew in the face in a rage.
Matthew was beaten all over the sky, but he didn't fight back. Instead, he ran to the beach in one breath and wrote a line on the beach: Al slapped Matthew on a certain day in a certain year.
After that, the trip was over soon. Back home, the writer asked Matthew curiously, "Why did you carve the story of Al saving you on a stone and write the story of him being slapped on the beach?"
Matthew calmly replied, "I will always be grateful and remember that Al saved my life. As for the fact that he hit me, I want to be forgotten with the disappearance of handwriting on the beach. "
In fact, everyone should do this, bearing in mind the good of others; For the harm of others, we should gently erase it.
Tolerance means remembering others' kindness to yourself and forgetting others' harm to yourself. Replace hatred with love and gratitude to resolve old grievances.
The ancients said, "I can't forget that people are virtuous to me." People are ashamed of me. Don't forget it. "In short, it is the help of others, so don't forget it. On the contrary, if others fail us, they should be willing to forget it.
Willing to forget is a psychological balance. There is a famous saying: "Being angry is to punish yourself with other people's faults." Always "clinging" to the "shortcomings" of others, in fact, what hurts most is your own mind, which makes you miserable. Why? Such people, from light to self-abuse, may lead to crazy revenge.
Willing to forget is a feature of flexibility. Only those who let bygones be bygones can unload their burdens and make great strides. People should have the spirit of "letting bygones be bygones". Many times, people mistakenly think that it is "evil" and may not really be "evil". To say the least, even if it is "evil", the other party feels guilty and afraid. If we don't forget the old evils and treat them with courtesy, we may be able to change "evil" into good.
Li Jing, a former county magistrate in the Tang Dynasty, first discovered Li Yuan's intention to plot the world and reported it to him personally. After Tang Gaozu destroyed the Sui Dynasty, he wanted to dig with his own hands. Li Shimin opposed revenge and repeatedly demanded his life. Later, Li Jing galloped on the battlefield and tirelessly won glory for his country, making great contributions to the Tang Dynasty. Wei Zhi once encouraged the Prince to kill Li Shimin, and Li Shimin ignored old grievances and reused quantity, which made Wei Zhi feel that he was "the master of every confidant and made great contributions to the Tang Dynasty".
Wang Anshi's attitude towards Su Dongpo in the Song Dynasty should be said to be a bit "evil". When he was prime minister, Su Dongpo was demoted to Huangzhou because of his different political views, which made him miserable. But Su Dongpo is generous and doesn't take it to heart at all, let alone forget the past. After Wang Anshi collapsed from the position of prime minister, the relationship between the two became better. He kept writing letters to Wang Anshi, who lived in seclusion in Jinling, or expressing friendship, or encouraging each other, or discussing knowledge, which was very speculative.
According to legend, when Lu Zhi, the prime minister of the Tang Dynasty, was in power, he was biased and thought that Li Jifu, a doctor of Taichang, colluded for personal gain, so he was demoted as a long history of Mingzhou. Soon, Lu Zhi was dismissed and demoted to Zhongzhou, near Mingzhou, as a driver. The successor prime minister knew that Li and Lu had some personal grievances, so he played politics, specially promoted Li Jifu as the secretariat of Zhongzhou, and asked him to be the immediate boss, in order to be impeded. Don't want to Li Jifu regardless of old grievances, at the beginning of his tenure, he deliberately drank with Lu Zhi, which hindered the current prime minister's murder plot. In this regard, Lu Zhi was deeply moved, and he actively made suggestions to help Li Jifu manage Zhongzhou better and better every day. Li Jifu forgives others and helps himself without seeking revenge.
After reading so many familiar stories, we can also feel that the ancient officialdom was sinister, but political enemies often forgot the past and turned their enemies into friends. This attitude of making friends and employing people is worth learning. Taking history as a mirror can help us cultivate morality. In today's view, the lesson we should learn from it is that we should be open-minded and make friends with others, and don't forget old evils too much. Who is not wrong? Isn't it the hardest thing to compare your heart with yours? When we are sorry for others, aren't we also eager for each other's understanding?
Only tolerance can dissolve the hatred in the world, and only tolerance is a good medicine to soothe the soul. Not only that, tolerance is also a kind of wisdom, tolerance and forbearance, which is not innate, but a high degree of wisdom and self-cultivation. There is an old saying: "A prime minister can hold a boat in his stomach." Because only people with broad minds and keen eyes have the ability to use wisdom. "People who can tolerate others not only give others a chance, but also give themselves a chance-a chance to gain happiness.
A person full of resentment will feel that the whole world is against him and will not be happy, but if he is tolerant, this sense of opposition will naturally disappear and be replaced by friendship and happiness, or even more.