If you are used to suffering losses, used to wronging yourself, used to catering to others, used to being submissive, then these are not called kindness, but stupidity, because you give up the rights that should belong to you, and over time Then you will forget that you should have opinions, abilities, and a more leisurely life.
The kinder a person is, the higher the bottom line for treating others should be. This way you can avoid indulging others and protect yourself.
Kindness is a kind of conscience, a kind of nature, which is based on morality. Your kindness cannot be without a bottom line.
I remember when I was in elementary school, an overseas Chinese donated many white statues of famous people, with famous quotes engraved on the bottom, surrounding the entire playground. At that time, the campus was empty and there was nothing. Characteristics, and these white statues form a unique landscape, and when seeing the famous quotes underneath, many feelings arise spontaneously. There are Marie Curie, Einstein, Lincoln, Gorky, Lei Feng... The one who impressed me the most is Emerson. I don't know who he is. I only remember him because he is one word different from Edison. , who is Edison? That is a famous saying that has been instilled in him since he was a child: Genius is 99% sweat + 1% talent. It was very brainwashing at that time. At that time, I thought that if there was only one word difference between Emerson and him, then there should be no difference. In this way, the name Emerson was remembered.
Emerson once said this about kindness: Your kindness must be a little sharp, otherwise it will be zero.
Kindness without principles is not kindness.
People will also feel psychologically uneasy if they find out that they have done something bad. Because among all my experiences, this memory is ugly and stained. It is very different from my past behavior, and I will reject it in my heart. From a psychological point of view, people hope that the things stored in their hearts are beautiful and kind. The most important thing is to be consistent with their hearts. Once something bad happens, they will reject it in their hearts so that they can live better. Feel at ease.
You may have experienced or heard others talk about many kind actions only to be criticized. This is totally normal. For example, people criticized me for not giving up my seat on the bus; I agreed to help others with work, but the result was not perfect and was complained; a good friend borrowed money but didn't pay it back and didn't know how to ask for money...
All of these are criticized for being kind. Or worrying things that can actually be avoided.
You have been working hard to help others, but you have forgotten that the one who needs to be fulfilled most is yourself.
Many times, you can help within the scope of your ability, but don’t let other people’s affairs affect your own affairs. You must know who is most important. Many times, rejection is difficult to say, but rejection can make our interactions more rational.
In fact, many times the contributions and kind actions we think we do are not what we think in the eyes of others. There are such big deviations in people's cognition, let alone perception. Please give your kindness to those who treat you well.
For some behaviors, we can only express understanding and cannot condone or condone them. There will definitely be various encounters in life, whether they are good or bad, whether they are good people or bad people, you will always encounter them at a certain point in time. Right time or wrong time. If you are unable to bear it and no one will bear it for you, you have to know for yourself that these things are inevitable. If one day you survive all the hurt and finally become strong, you should be grateful not for the success, but for all the failures you have experienced, because failure will make you learn to grow.
No one can give an accurate definition of kindness, because it depends on the person and the situation. So you have to learn to define your own kindness. Life is not about compromise, and the more you push back, the less room you have to breathe. Life is not something to make do with. The humbler you behave, the farther away happiness will be from you.
There is no need to put your position too low. Actively fight for what belongs to you, and give up calmly what doesn't belong to you. Don’t force yourself to do things you don’t want to do or agree to people you don’t want to agree to. Learn to say no. That’s okay. Even if you’re not used to it at first, don’t worry. Straighten your back, stay patient, and you will gain everything that belongs to you.
Once people do something wrong or tell a lie, they will be psychologically rejected and anxious. Just like lies, there are distinctions. Lies are divided into: white lies, gray lies, and black lies. White lies: In order to cater to others, you have to aggravate yourself and agree to some requests that you don't want to agree to. You see, lying doesn't just mean deceiving others, deceiving yourself is also called a lie. Gray lies: Lies that are made up in order not to hurt others, and then multiple lies are needed to make up for the previous lies. Lying is not an independent thing. A lie often requires several lies to cover it up. While the probability of one lie being discovered is low, the probability of multiple lies being discovered is high, so the cost of lying is very high. Black lies: deceiving others.
There is a saying that goes like this: People who lie are undoubtedly closer to the truth. When a liar wants to deceive others, he knows that the information is false. For you, if you want to get the truth, you must wait until the moment you realize that it is a lie. Only then will you be in the same position as the liar. On the starting line.
Even if he is a liar, there is always a place in his heart that is kind, or towards his family, people who are worse off than himself, and towards the people he cares about. If you are hurt because of kindness, don't reject kindness, but adjust your kindness. Kindness should not be annihilated.
No one is obligated to be kind to you, but those who are kind to you, if you feel it, please be nice to him, because he should not have to do so.
You must be kind, because kindness should be the foundation of human nature. Society should also be made up of kindness. If a malicious society can prosper and develop, what's the point of that. Similarly, if a vicious person can be happy, what's the point of that.
Just because kindness has not yet been rewarded does not make it questionable. There are many kind people, and there are many people who have received good rewards. Don't be impatient just because you are a little slow. Be full of faith and remain patient.
But you don’t have to be kind to everyone. Kindness is mutual. Being kind to kind people does not mean you have to be kind to everyone. Some unnecessary people and unnecessary kindness will drag you down. For some people who ask blindly, your kindness will not only hurt them but also yourself.
Keep moving forward on the road of kindness, gradually establish your own principles of kindness, keep the good ones, and eliminate the bad ones. Slowly, your path will become smoother and smoother, right? ? As long as you believe it.
As Zhu Bolu said: Goodness, if you want people to know it, is not really good; evil, if you fear people will know it, it is great evil.
You should be kind and powerful!