In the definition of psychology, EQ includes the ability to perceive and evaluate the emotions of oneself and others, as well as the ability to adjust and control emotions. It can be seen that "high emotional intelligence" does not mean enduring anger or suppressing emotions.

If there is anger, we need to realize that it is not bad. This is a reminder that our inner needs are not met. For example, "angry at being insulted or laughed at" is the need to be respected, and "angry at being ignored" is the need to be valued. Emotions don't need to be suppressed, but they don't want to vent. Instead, we need to see our true feelings and needs and communicate with each other in a friendly way.

For example, your friend is always late for appointments, and you are angry. At this point, there is no need to tolerate it again and again for fear of affecting the relationship, but it is not a temper. "Why are you late every time! I've had enough of you! " . We just need to objectively state the fact that "you are late these times", and then express our feelings and needs "I feel a little sick, I hope you can arrive on time in the future". Of course, we can also try to understand each other. "Do you spend much time on the road? Can you go out earlier next time? " .

To sum up, I think that "high emotional intelligence" means using gentle and effective communication to get along well with others and make both sides comfortable. Recommend the book Non-violent Communication, which is very good!