Once upon a time, there was an old woman who built a thatched nunnery and supported a monk for twenty years. Finally, she finally wanted to try this monk's cultivation skills.

One day, she asked the woman to hug the monk and asked, "How are you doing at this time?" Heating!"

After the woman came back and reported the situation, the old woman said angrily: "Think about it, I raised him for twenty years in vain! He ignored your needs. He didn't even ask about your situation. Although he didn't have to show enthusiasm, he had to at least show sympathy!" Then he drove the monk away, set a fire, and burned the nunnery.

——"The Story of Zen"

The old woman burned the fire very happily, burning all the hypocrisy in the hut. The old woman is really a person of temperament, so The monk is just a fake monk, and he may not achieve anything if he practices for another twenty years.

The banner Master Changming of Guiyuan Zen Temple likes to write the most is "Everyone is happy". His state of mind is incomparable to that of the fake monk. "Everyone is happy" makes us feel friendly and natural.

In psychotherapy, clients often envy and admire psychiatrists. They think that psychiatrists must be very good at adjusting their mentality and have good psychological quality. Obviously, they idealize psychiatrists. Of course, engaging in mental health work will definitely help you, but the help is not to make yourself more consistent with some ideal standards, but to make yourself more open and real. Some senior German psychologists I know look very shy and blush whenever they talk. I am afraid they will disappoint many of our clients. In the eyes of these lovely clients, they blush whenever they talk. People are not qualified to be psychiatrists.

It should be said that one of the goals of psychotherapy is to make the client become a real person.

Real people are very relaxed and at ease. Living with a mask can make people exhausted. Liu Xiaoqing once said that it is difficult to be a human being, difficult to be a woman, and even more difficult to be a famous woman. There are two points worth analyzing in this sentence. First, there are several role masks: people, women and famous women; second, being a human being does not come naturally, but "does" with great effort. No wonder it is tired.

Every pore of a real person is open, and every cell is breathing freely. Theory is gray, but the tree of life is evergreen, and real people have endless vitality in their hearts.

The ancients said that you should not make friends with people who are flawless because they have no true energy. A real person is also a lovely person.

I said with emotion: "Can it be a baby?" Returning to reality is not an easy thing. Some people jokingly refer to psychoanalysis as "undressing", which means that we have many protective layers wrapped around us, which protect us from internal and external conflicts and anxieties like iron walls. Psychoanalysis is to loosen Unraveling these defense systems allows us to see our naked true selves. Therefore, psychoanalysis is sometimes very painful because we see the true existence that we do not want to see. However, the pain is worth it. It can be regarded as the labor pains during childbirth. A new life will be born with pain.

A fable

The Buddha said the following fable in a sutra:

A man was passing by in the wilderness and met a tiger, so he He ran away desperately, but the tiger was in hot pursuit. He ran to an overhanging rock, grabbed a wild vine with both hands, and let his whole body hang in mid-air. He looked up and saw the tiger roaring at him. Looking down, he saw another tiger far below, waiting for him with its mouth wide open. This made him tremble with fear, and he had only a dead vine to cling to.

At this moment, there was another white rat and a black rat, gnawing away at the dead vine bit by bit. But he suddenly saw a delicious strawberry nearby, so he climbed the vine with one hand and picked the strawberry with the other hand. He put it into his mouth and tasted it: it tasted so delicious!

——Li Pushi's "The Story of Zen"

I like this story very much. I have to mention it every time in the outpatient guidance and group discussions of Morita Psychotherapy. story. For neurotic patients, this story is relevant and instructive.

The so-called neurosis refers to anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder and phobia, especially hypochondriasis.

These neuroses are characterized by repeated uncontrollable tension and fear. One of their common characteristics is that the patient has a strong desire to get rid of the symptoms, which is an important factor between neurosis and mental illness