After taking a cold shower, I stood at the station waiting for the bus. It was already afternoon, and the summer sunshine was still very poisonous. Occasionally, the breeze blew by, and I couldn't help but sneeze. I thought: My body is really honest, cold water Bathing is harmful to the body. Looking back at the fluff floating in the air, life is just like fluttering fluff.

On second thought, after watching "Fang Siqi's First Love Paradise", I remembered the death of Lin Yihan. The young and beautiful girl chose to end her life at the age of twenty-six. As expected, her body was very honest. , because her little body can no longer bear the huge pain, she explained in her own words, "You are a person who has gone through the Vietnam War, you are a person who has gone through a concentration camp, you are a person who has experienced a nuclear war."

All the stories were revealed after her death. The four protagonists in "Fang Siqi's First Love Paradise" are all microcosms of her. A Chinese language teacher has been using his authority all year round to use literature as bait to seduce, He assaulted and sexually abused teenage female students, and eventually became insane and insane.

Lin Yihan herself suffers from severe depression, just like the prophecy: Siqi is destined to be destroyed and cannot look back. What a pity, she really didn't look back and walked towards death resolutely.

Perhaps most girls have sex because of love, but Fang Siqi "loves" because of sex. Chinese teacher Li Guohua said that the way to love her was to put a penis into her mouth at the age of thirteen. It forcefully entered her body and mind, causing her physical and mental pain and humiliation. It gave people an illusion. Suddenly, it reminded of Zhang Ailing's famous saying in "Lust, Caution", "The way to a woman's heart is the vagina." Li The large-scale shots in An Zai's movie "Lust, Caution" are nothing more than elaborating on this sentence.

Thirteen-year-old Fang Siqi developed a twisted, self-paralyzing, and self-protective "love" due to sex. If there is love, then everything goes smoothly and has a reasonable explanation. She brainwashed herself and told herself that she was in love. The Chinese teacher loved her and she loved him too. Love is the most beautiful excuse for human sin, as charming and decadent as the poppy flower. Echoing Liao Yimei's words, "Everyone has done all the scandals in the world with the word love."

Li Guohua likes young and beautiful girls, objectifies women, puts on the cloak of literature, and confidently uses the word "love" to express his pride. His knowledge seduces his students and satisfies the expansion of psychological patriarchy and the joy of physical excitement. He loves to conquer Fang Siqi himself, he loves to imagine and set himself, but he does not love Fang Siqi alone; he looks for youth and desire in Fang Siqi, but he does not look for love.

Fang Siqi’s love is forced, it is grasping a fragile reed in the vast ocean, and comforting oneself in boundless pain. She lied to herself, saved herself in the name of love, but was abandoned, and her psychological defenses collapsed. At this moment, love and hate are no longer important. She can no longer recognize herself, so she is crazy.

Fang Siqi was trapped in the quagmire. They were brutally injured and brutally nailed to the pillar of shame. Once something happens, the unscathed onlookers express self-righteous sympathy, "This girl is so pitiful." However, what they care more about is "What will she do in the future? Who will be willing to marry her?!" In the eyes of the world, the opposite sex The definition of Siqi - the humiliated is far greater than the victim! Before their wounds are healed, they are about to face an overwhelming amount of "kindness" that will abuse them again. The so-called sympathy and kindness are degenerate, and they are discrimination and luck hidden in their hearts. Fortunately, it's you and not me.

As the college entrance examination approaches, the girl secretly tastes the forbidden fruit and is discovered by her family. So the parents from both sides staged a bloody exchange of words in the corridor of the school to vent their inner anger. Through the glass, I saw the girl shivering standing in the bright sunshine, her thin shoulders hunched slightly, silent tears streaking across her cheeks and in her heart.

I was thinking at the time, "What crime has she committed? Let her go through this, let her accept Lingchi in front of everyone. Is this what we call love and protection? Who will protect her?! "The boys watching the show showed frivolous and contemptuous expressions. They looked like they were standing on the moral high ground, but they used the most obscene and contemptuous words to insult others. The girl had a reserved and aloof face, "How can you have the nerve to do such a thing? Isn't it a shame... I'll stay away from her in the future, otherwise I will be criticized by others..." .."

In a trance, their faces transformed into "justice", "purity" and "judge", deciding the girl's life or death.

The girl couldn't bear the pressure and dropped out of school before the college entrance examination. At the end of the day, she lost all her courage. In fact, she doesn't need to, this is not a heinous crime.

Because sex is taboo in culture, boys and girls have a lingering sense of mystery and shame about sex. The lack of sex education causes them to have cognitive misunderstandings, lead them to a dead end with a sense of humiliation, and crush themselves to death. Sex is neither mysterious nor humiliating. It is as common as eating and drinking. There is an inappropriate joke that "Chinese people never talk about sex, but they try their best to have children."

After entering college, we met again. The men and women who commented on girls half a year ago seemed to have completely changed their personalities, and their level of sexual openness was completely different from the past. It seemed that they were using this to show that they were civilized and open-minded, and that they were young people keeping up with the times.

"We are all in college, how normal this is." Their faces became blurred and disappeared.

While drinking wine, do you still remember the words you said half a year ago? Do you still remember the girl you hurt half a year ago?

Could it be that sexual liberation begins at the end of the college entrance examination and the beginning of university.

From being so harsh on sex to being so accepting of sex, it only takes half a year, the time for the college entrance examination. There is no natural and gradual transition, but a leap from one extreme to another. In the end, it is nothing more than a deformed product of the "education doctrine".

If there were any ifs, correct handling by parents, proper guidance by teachers, and warm help from classmates, the tragedy would have been avoided, and she might have had a different ending.

Those absent sex educations do not want to happen again as a tragedy.

Lin Yihan's speech "I have burned out my passion for life" makes it obvious that he is a patient with depression, which is too obvious and too desperate. Depression was like a black hole swallowing her insides. Family failed to understand her, love failed to heal her, and friendship failed to support her. A person's hopelessness is nothing more than that, losing the ability to love and be loved.

"Painful encounters are so difficult to share. It's a good thing that there is still literature in this world."

Only literature and books accompany her as she travels through mountains and rivers, and walks with depression. Literature seems to be her antidote, but in fact it is also her poison. Most of the great literary works contain an unimaginable intensity of pain, which tortures one's own soul and dissects the riddled depths with a pen. This is a cruel and painful process, a kind of "self-mutilation".

Anatomy will double the pain, and the pain will be unforgettable. If it cannot be forgotten, it cannot be forgiven.

"When a person writes a love poem, he should mean what he says, be ambitious, have feelings and be innocent. How can a person who truly believes in Chinese betray this mighty and powerful world that has lasted for five thousand years? Context?"

The question Lin Yihan left hanging was "She suddenly felt that it was not the people who studied literature, but literature that had failed them."

Maybe, maybe not.

May there be no invasion, no depression, no Fang Siqi, but love and literature.