01 Life The more you play, the better you become

>> Playing with things does not necessarily lead to despondency. In the process of playing, the children easily learned knowledge that was impossible to learn in the classroom. In fact, we should give our children a research-based environment at home and give them a broader world so that they can learn through experience and practice, instead of letting them only hold textbooks and exercise books when they return home.

My family's "Game Time" and "Family Day"

>> "Failure is the mother of success" and "affording to lose" is an excellent quality. Losing in games Children who can afford it will also be able to afford to lose in other aspects of competition.

>> Once the habit of dilly-dallying is developed, today's children will have endless troubles. Most of them are only children and have no brothers or sisters to play with them. Their parents can only play the role of parents and companions at the same time

>> Many times it is not that the children do not have time to play, but that the parents are not willing to play with their children on weekends. Activities, because this requires parents to devote a certain amount of time and energy. As parents, we have the obligation and responsibility to help our children build a sound personality. Raising children is like planting crops. Only by providing specific nutrients at specific growth stages can we ensure the growth of children. Children grow up healthily. Some missed opportunities can never be made up, because each sensitive period of children's growth is fleeting.

Nature is a wordless book

>> Then during the child’s shaping period, let him get in touch with nature as much as possible

>> The magical power and magnificent beauty of nature will always be there silently. Only by letting children experience it in person Only by experiencing and comprehending the power of nature can children truly love nature, respect nature, love the environment, and protect the environment, thus forming conscious behavioral habits.

>> Playing in the snow is getting to know the snow, and looking at a tree is getting to know a tree. Facing the natural world, children put their body and mind into it to feel its beauty, which is a way to experience happiness and exercise courage. The process is also a process of helping children build their personality.

A puzzle that only took a month to complete

>> There are many things in life that cannot be accomplished overnight and require persistence and patience to achieve the goal. It is very beneficial to cultivate children's willpower and the good habit of persisting in doing things to the end.

>> "Delayed gratification" is a psychological concept that refers to pursuing greater goals and obtaining greater results. Enjoyment can restrain one's desires and give up immediate temptations. "Delayed gratification" is often a manifestation of a person's psychological maturity and is also an important component of emotional intelligence. American psychologist Michelle has proven this after conducting many years of tracking experiments. , those children who can "delay gratification" have stronger self-control. They can appropriately control and regulate their behavior without external supervision, suppress impulses, resist temptation, and persist in ensuring the achievement of goals. Children with insufficient development of "delayed gratification" will develop certain deviant behaviors, such as watching TV while doing homework, looking around and making small movements during class, being playful and not going home after school, having an impatient personality, and lacking patience. After entering adolescence, People tend to be shy and stubborn in social interactions, get upset easily when encountering setbacks, shrink back or feel overwhelmed when faced with pressure, etc.

There are many benefits of exercising from a young age

>> Exercise can help. Make children healthy and energetic, help children improve their learning efficiency, increase their self-confidence, enhance their popularity in the group, and bring them closer to their classmates. Sports can also train children's collaborative spirit and prepare them for society in the future. .

Invite friends and make friends

>> "The lack of peers is more terrifying than failing the exam." An education expert once said this, and I strongly agree with this view. The growth of a child is a process of socialization, and the ability to interact with others is the foundation for a child to gain a foothold in society in the future.

02 Reading in a sea of ??books

>> If parents create a reading atmosphere for their children, the children may like reading; if parents create an atmosphere for their children to watch TV, Children may like watching TV.

Regarding reading, what parents have to do is: first, let their children have books to read, and second, let their children read books. "Having books to read" means having books suitable for children to read at home; "reading books" means allowing children to have access to books.

Create a reading atmosphere for children

>> I hope that all parents, no matter where they are or what the conditions are, can create a reading atmosphere for their children and be good at reading. Parents, read with your children, let them read good books, and grow up with them.

>> What makes people even more worried is that the lack of knowledge caused by poor reading affects the quality of the entire nation.

>> In fact, in addition to exams, children’s spiritual nourishment, emotional edification, and knowledge expansion must be supported by a large amount of extracurricular reading. The market can be utilitarian, but we parents must consider the long-term development of our children and let them read books that can truly help their mental growth, rather than just focusing on teaching supplementary books.

The bookstore is the "second study room" of my family

>> Relatively speaking, reading is a very good extracurricular activity. It can not only broaden horizons, expand knowledge, cultivate language sense, cultivate sentiment, but also improve children's intelligence. While children are reading text, they will give full play to their imagination and convert the content in the book into pictures and images. This transformation is actually a kind of re-creation. In this transformation process, the child's thinking ability is exercised. When reading, children's attention and memory can also be fully mobilized. When children focus on a book, they can forget about food and sleep, and will unconsciously memorize the plot in the book. In other words, throughout the reading session, children exercise imagination, thinking, attention and memory, which are very important factors in intelligence.

If you have books to read, you should also let your children read books

>> Children all like reading. After all, the world in books is very novel and can satisfy children's natural curiosity. Heart. What parents have to do is: first, let their children have books to read, and second, let their children read books. "Having books to read" means having books suitable for children to read at home; "reading books" means allowing children to have access to books. Only in this way can children's interest in reading be slowly developed. And because there are books everywhere in the house, the likelihood that children will be attracted to books is greatly increased. As long as a child likes reading, television and computers will be greatly less attractive to him.

The torn "encyclopedia"

>> Faced with children who are extremely curious about knowledge, no matter how knowledgeable a parent is, it is impossible to understand everything. Answer all your child's questions. Therefore, I think it is very necessary to prepare several reference books for children so that when children ask endless questions, we can find answers with them. In the process of seeking answers, children's curiosity is satisfied through in-depth exploration, and their sense of accomplishment is also satisfied while solving problems by themselves. For a child, the satisfaction of curiosity and sense of achievement is the magic weapon to increase interest in learning.

>> When choosing reference books for primary school students, readability and interest should be taken into consideration. Such reference books can not only be used by children to solve problems, but can also be used as good reading materials in daily life. All in all, when choosing, you should consider whether the content and style are suitable for your child's taste, and try to choose a reference book with better paper quality and a comfortable look.

Children from poor families can also have books to read

>> 12 years ago, I followed my parents to Beijing, and the first place I settled down was It’s this small courtyard at the entrance of 101 Middle School. I rented a small house of 8 square meters and started a completely different life from my previous life in my hometown. From then on, the world of the small courtyard became the paradise of 3-year-old me, with my running and jumping shadow imprinted on every corner. The ancient courtyard gate and bricks and tiles are piled up to form a few simple small rooms. In the courtyard, jujube trees, chun trees, and apricot trees shade each other. This small courtyard is deeply buried with countless happy memories and that period of simple and innocent childhood.

>> Letting your children develop the habit of reading is like installing an engine for your children.

>> My daughter’s academic performance has always been in the upper reaches of the class since she was a child. By the second and third years of high school, she was able to stand out and was finally admitted to Peking University. I feel that it is because she has accumulated a lot of reading knowledge since she was a child. In the end, the effect of accumulation was achieved.

Mom's "Getting into the Water" Composition

>> From my daughter's first composition to all the texts in high school, including diaries, weekly diaries and essays, I have treasured them one by one. When she was in her third year of high school, my husband and I compiled these words into a volume, printed it into a book, named it "Zhuye Collection", and gave it to her as an adult gift at her coming-of-age ceremony. Holding an adult gift that embodies the love of mom and dad and witnesses her 18 years of growth and mental journey, my daughter hugged us and was so moved that she shed tears.

>> Once I listened to a lecture given by Sun Ruixue, who is known as "the first person in Montessori education in China". She mentioned that in her school, children in the first and second grades of primary school are helped by their parents. Written below. Their approach is that children speak and parents write. When a child tells a parent something or describes a person verbally, the parent should write down what the child tells verbatim. After the child has finished speaking and the parent has finished writing, the parent reads aloud to the child the composition they just completed together to let the child feel whether it still needs revision. If the child feels that it needs to be modified, the parents will listen to the child and modify it based on the original text. The reason why parents are asked to write is because children in first and second grade still cannot write many words and their written expression skills are not strong enough. In this process, parents are just assistants and do not give any advice to their children. Instead, they fully mobilize their children's imagination and creativity and "write" a true composition that is entirely their own. After "writing" like this for a period of time, the children will separate from their parents and write their own compositions. Teacher Sun said that the compositions written by the children in her school were sincere, vivid and touching.

03 Learning Learning is a piece of candy

>> The prerequisite for primary school students to like learning is to love school, love teachers, love classmates and be interested in learning. Only in this way will he be enthusiastic about learning and continue to grow and improve. Therefore, there is no need to deliberately spend too much thought on children's learning, but to find ways to make children fall in love with school and learning.

Be patient and wait for the children who have just entered school

>> Children in first and second grade are in the toddler stage of their learning career. All learning activities are new to him and need to be developed bit by bit. Many poor performances are due to the difficulties caused by learning unfamiliar content. No child is born with the ability to write or do arithmetic. Slow writing, inability to finish exams, and even inability to remember what they have learned are normal manifestations of many children. Maybe some kids of the same age are better in certain areas, but that's just because kids are different and not better or worse.

>> Parents are both instructors and companions in helping their children successfully pass the first stage of school. The premise is: parents should help their children in an accepting and loving way.

>> Dear parents, we send our children to school just to let them learn. How can he do everything well as soon as he enters school? People are supposed to make mistakes, learn lessons, accumulate experience, and grow up while learning. Therefore, please regard all your child’s behaviors as normal growth and wait patiently for him!

Care for and satisfy children’s curiosity

>> Parents send their children to school with the ultimate goal of allowing them to learn skills and be able to settle down in society in the future. In primary school, keeping children interested in learning is more important than temporary academic performance. In fact, there is not much homework in primary school. As long as the children can keep up and master the knowledge, it is enough. Being interested in learning will make the children continue to want to acquire knowledge and eventually have the skills to live. Therefore, when children are in primary school, parents should focus on cultivating their interest in learning. To cultivate interest in learning, we must first satisfy children's curiosity.

Continuous motivation builds children's self-confidence

>> Psychologist Maslow's "Hierarchy of Needs" theory believes that people's highest need is the realization of self-worth.

For a child, when his sense of self-worth is satisfied, he likes to do something. The constant recognition and praise from adults will give the child a feeling of "I am very powerful". This feeling is just right. It’s a feeling of confidence.

A good mood is a "magnet" for going to school

>> A temporary good mood will definitely be helpful to children's learning. A continuous good mood can keep children interested and motivated in learning for a long time. The so-called "mood", in layman's terms, refers to a certain mood that a person has for a long time. For children, if they can have a continuous good mood and be happy every day, they can devote themselves to learning. To keep children in a good mood, harmonious family relationships are even more important.

Study habits should be developed as early as possible

>> Study habits include daily preview and review, periodic summaries, extracurricular reading, etc. Once these habits are developed before the child is 10 years old , which will be of great help to his subsequent studies and even his future work and life. Therefore, you should develop habits as early as possible, and don’t wait until problems arise.

>> "A little success is like nature, and habits are like nature" is a famous saying of Confucius, which means that habits developed in childhood are as natural as innateness. For primary school students, developing good study habits from the first grade is very important for their future study career.

>> It takes 21 days to initially develop a habit, and 90 days, or 3 months, to basically develop a habit. To make a habit permanent, parents and children need to work together for 3 months. And it is best not to repeat it during these three months. If you repeat it too much, all your previous efforts will be wasted. Therefore, the development of children's habits is actually a test of parents' patience. If the parents pass this test, the children will also pass the test.

>> The so-called "dedicated time" means doing specific things at a specific time. For example, we discussed with our daughter that 7:00-7:30 in the evening is the time for math homework, so this time will be used exclusively for math homework. She is not allowed to wander out of the house during this half hour, and we will not disturb her. Don't give her fruits, water, etc. If she has questions that she doesn't know, keep them until she has finished all the homework for this subject, and then ask her parents. After finishing the homework for one subject, you can rest for a while, change your mind, and then start writing the homework for another subject. Again, do only that one thing during that time. This is very important for cultivating children's concentration, and children will also develop good habits of focusing on doing things. Because after all, during classes and exams at school, you are not as free as at home. You are not allowed to go to the toilet and do other things casually. When a child is young, he will listen to his parents as long as their words do not hurt his self-esteem. Once a habit is formed, children will not, as some parents say, excuse themselves to come out to drink water and watch TV, or to go to the toilet and play for a while.

A good way to learn Chinese - reading and writing

>> Reading and writing should be practiced "child skills", and the foundation should be laid in primary school. After entering middle school, It will save a lot of effort. Therefore, parents should cooperate with the school to guide their children to read more and practice writing when they are in primary school, so that their children can fall in love with reading and writing early.

The choice of extracurricular classes should consider the actual situation of the child

>> First, respect the child’s talent, that is, outstanding performance in intelligence. It is necessary to determine whether the child is learning the material of the course, and then make targeted choices; secondly, respect the child's interests, and only when the child truly likes it can he learn successfully; thirdly, respect the critical period of the child's growth. Children at different ages There are different needs, and missing the critical period may be difficult to remedy throughout your life.

Honor your parents, start from the adults

>> First, young parents who live with their parents should take the initiative to say hello to their parents before leaving and after returning home every day. This is what the "Disciple Rules" says: "When you go out, you must report it, and when you return, you must face it." Be independent and self-reliant, take the initiative to take on household chores and financial responsibilities at home, and do not be a "cheating old man". Second, if you live in two places with your parents, you should call your parents frequently to greet them, so that your children can feel that although their grandparents are no longer around, their parents still care about them. If possible, take your children back during holidays. Third, parents must fulfill their support obligations when they are old, and they must do so without hesitation.

All of this seems to be our responsibilities and obligations as children, but for children, it is teaching them how to treat their parents.

Cultivation of children's sense of responsibility

>> Children will enter one relationship system after another throughout their lives. As soon as he is born, he enters the family system, he enters the school system when he goes to kindergarten, and he will enter the larger system of society in the future. Most of the time, he deals with relationships between people. Therefore, cultivating children is not only to make them people who are responsible for themselves, but also to make them consider others and the group they belong to, and become people with a sense of collective honor and social responsibility.

What is more important than grades is gain

>> In the current education environment where “learning well means doing well”, parents really need to have a normal mind. Pay attention to all aspects of your child's growth rather than just studying, and pay attention to the gains in your child's growth process rather than just focusing on scores.

>> In the plant world, peonies and hawthorns bloom at the same time. Peonies are very eye-catching in spring and are sought after by everyone; hawthorn flowers are very inconspicuous in spring and are dwarfed by peonies. But in autumn, only the bare branches and leaves of peonies are left, and the hawthorn trees are covered with red fruits, which begin to attract people's attention.

05 Psychology Let the Angels Fly

>> Today’s children also have a lot of energy, and they can take good care of themselves. They are not more fragile than we are, but we are more fragile than our parents. Parents of senior children should change their role from mentors to companions and guides. You should allow your children to grow up in their own way and provide guidance when appropriate, instead of imposing your will on your children.

Let go and let the children grow up on their own

>> Children will eventually have to face the road of life independently. Just like learning to walk, only when parents loosen their hands can the child walk steadily; just like learning to ride a bicycle, only when parents loosen their hands can the car move forward quickly. The road of life is not like this. If parents give their children the opportunity to exercise from an early age, the children will become independent, confident, and responsible people.

Give children the right and opportunity to choose

>> Let children practice making their own choices from an early age so that they will not be so confused when it comes to choosing careers, lifestyles and life partners in the future. Confused, so that you can make decisions rationally, proactively and calmly.

Parent-child communication requires heart-to-heart communication

>> Good parent-child communication requires heart-to-heart communication between parents and children. First of all, you need to have time to communicate with your children, then you need to understand your children and find a parent-child communication method that suits your family, and finally achieve the purpose of educating your children to grow up healthily and happily.

When children get "emotional"

>> Everyone gets emotional sometimes, and children who have not yet learned to manage their emotions will express everything outwardly. At this time, parents should understand, accept, and help their children sort out their emotions and finally find a solution to the problem. Over time, parents will become their children's "spiritual nutritionists", and their children's ability to regulate their emotions will gradually be developed.

>> Everyone has emotions, and emotions can be positive or negative. Positive emotions include happiness, excitement, tranquility, satisfaction, relaxation, etc. Negative emotions include sadness, loss, confusion, depression, irritability, etc. Positive emotions can give children positive strength and relax their body and mind. Not only will their learning efficiency be high, but they will also look healthy, happy, and full of sunshine. Children in negative emotions will feel depressed, and their physical and mental growth will also be affected.

Scientific guidance, healthy Internet access

>> I feel that my daughter has never been so obsessed with the Internet for the following reasons: First, my daughter spends a lot of spare time reading extracurricular books. Because my daughter has developed the habit of reading since she was a child, and there are books everywhere at home, books are more accessible to her, so she will read books when she has time. After all, the games or information on the Internet cannot be compared with books.

I once read a story about a mother whose children were addicted to TV all day long (there were no computers at that time), which gave her a lot of headaches. Later, she thought of a way to take the children to a nearby library. After a few times, the children no longer stay at home watching TV, but prefer to go to the library to read. Therefore, cultivating the habit of reading is a good way to prevent children from becoming addicted to the Internet. I believe that children who like reading will never become addicted even if they go online. At most, they will turn the Internet into the spice of life. Second, besides studying, we arranged a variety of entertainment activities for our daughter. For example, I take her on outings and museums on weekends, and travel during long vacations. Even on weekdays, when she finishes her homework, she is encouraged to make appointments with children to exercise, etc. These healthy and happy activities fill up her time. She has no time to think about the Internet. My daughter has many friends like this. Because of their colorful extracurricular life, they are not obsessed with the Internet. Third, satisfy the child’s inner desires. Every child desires love, acceptance, affirmation, appreciation, and respect in his heart. If these desires can be satisfied, their words and deeds will be normal, otherwise deviations will occur. In daily life and study, we will be very satisfied with, appreciate and praise our daughter for every bit of progress she makes. Even if she has some unsatisfactory aspects, we will ignore or encourage her. Her parents' consistent acceptance and affirmation constantly satisfy her inner desires, and their constant praise and encouragement make her always feel a sense of accomplishment. Therefore, there is no need for her to seek comfort in the virtual online world. Fourth, neither my husband nor I play games. Although my husband and I both worked in Internet companies at the time, we all used the Internet to work and never played online games. I think this is the demonstration and role model role of parents. If my husband and I don’t play games, my daughter will not have the opportunity to understand the games, so she won’t play them much.

>> Fifth, do not put computers in your children’s rooms.

06 Communication Express love in another way

>> In the parent-child relationship, no matter what method parents and children use to communicate, the important thing is not the form, but the final effect. Children's progress seems to be a natural and unstoppable process. Parents only need to accompany them with their wholehearted love, and wait and appreciate quietly.

My family's "mailbox" and "BBS"

>> I read an article about the writer Qin Wenjun, and the article mentioned that Qin Wenjun and his daughter also used letter writing to communicate. . The effect of this method of communication is magical. At first, our daughter wrote to us first, and we responded. Later, we would also take the initiative to write to our daughter, telling her our views on certain things, etc. We would even edit and include good articles or jokes that we read. My daughter's "mailbox". Especially when children are emotional, we use this method to express our thoughts, which generally does not hurt the child's self-esteem. Moreover, if we convert our thoughts and emotions into words and write them down, we will become rational and peaceful. many. Therefore, my daughter always read and wrote letters and enjoyed it for several years.

Dad’s unique way of expressing love

>> As the husband said, parents are willing to spend time with their children, and the message conveyed to their children is: "In my eyes, you It’s the most important thing!” “Dad loves you very much!” For children, only by feeling the attention and love of their parents can they learn to value and cherish themselves. Only by valuing and cherishing your children can you have enough self-confidence. And self-confidence is a prerequisite for a person's success.

>> Mr. McDowell, a famous American family education expert, said: "The castle of love is built by 'time'." Dads, please take some time to be with your children. After all, Children's growth waits for no one, don't wait until your children grow up and regret it!

"Contractual constraints" are necessary

>> There are many ways to establish rules. First of all, parents should be good role models. Parents are well-behaved people. If their children follow their example, they will naturally become well-behaved people. Secondly, verbal education from parents is also indispensable. Parents must teach their children the rules of doing things anytime and anywhere. The above two points must be taught by words and deeds.

>> Since the purpose of making a contract at home is to enable children to develop good habits, it needs to persist for a period of time, because the formation of habits does not happen in a day or two.

Theoretically, it takes 21 days to initially develop a habit, and 3 months to develop a basic habit. In other words, if the contract is implemented for three months, the child's habits will be basically formed.

Don’t be a “helicopter parent” at the desk

>> With the company of their parents, it seems that the children complete the tasks well every day, but it creates a dependence on the children. , cannot train children's ability to independently explore and solve problems; from the perspective of children's long-term growth, being accustomed to relying on the "crutches" of their parents will also cause children to feel psychologically powerless, making them unable to cope well in the future. to a more complex social environment.

>> "Helicopter parent" is a new term that is popular internationally, which means that parents hover over their children like helicopters, monitoring their children's every move at all times. The overall manifestation of "helicopter parents" is that they care too much about their children, causing their children to become dependent on their parents. In China, when it comes to learning, it is very common for parents to accompany their children to do homework. Many parents of school-age children, no matter how busy or tired they are, or whether their children need it or not, are willing to accompany their children when they are doing homework and provide help at any time, and believe that this is the best way to express their care. In fact, learning is the child's own business, and he should and must learn to complete it independently. It is enough for parents to help their children solve problems when they need it.

Collect the footprints of children's growth

>> Now I often browse blogs online and see many parents writing articles every day to record the footprints of their children's growth. This is indeed a very remarkable thing. , in the process of writing a parenting diary, my inner love for my children emerged unconsciously. Even if you have small emotions, they will be vented while writing, which can adjust your mentality well. The important thing is that the recorded content is the footprint of the child's growth and is the best gift to give the child.

>> See

Giving gifts to teachers on Teachers’ Day

>> As students and parents, it is necessary to respect teachers, but it is not appropriate to give them gifts. Too much. However, parents should prepare gifts based on the purpose of respecting, thanking, and loving teachers. They should convey the true feelings of parents and children, and should not have any utilitarian purpose, nor should the value of gifts be measured by high or low.

>> In fact, for a teacher, what he wants most is parents’ cooperation in school teaching and respect for teachers. He also hopes to get the love and respect of students. Even if it is a gift, he also likes to receive it. When it comes to memorable gifts from children, the more expensive the better. The last thing a teacher wants to see is for parents and children to be respectful to the teacher when they are in school, but the children will become like strangers once they graduate.

Small prizes awarded by Teacher Zhang

>> For parents, by doing this with their children, what they record every day is what their children have done well, and they will also learn from it. When you appreciate your child in your heart and look at your child with appreciation, you will like your child even more, and your love for your child will sublimate. Then, the parent-child relationship will become more and more harmonious, and a harmonious parent-child relationship is the prerequisite for educating children.