2. A sentence in Keigo Higashino's Malice can vividly describe the protagonist's psychology: "I hate that you realized my ideal first, I hate your superior life, I hate that you have a bright future now, and I hate my cowardice. I hate that I can succeed only if I have cancer. I will give you all my hatred for myself and use it to hate you. "
3. Celebrities: As soon as we saw that the female star was particularly beautiful, we went online to search whether she had plastic surgery and how ugly she was before and after plastic surgery. As soon as I saw a teenager who succeeded in starting a business but was much younger than myself, I went to dig up his family. Is it true that his parents are well-connected and well-off? As soon as you see that talent doesn't match your age and face value, collect whether there are any noble people around him to help you, or hidden rules. ...
4. I can't hide that you have been admitted to a famous university. He was promoted by the leader when he first entered the workplace. She didn't realize financial freedom until she was 40 years old ... It can be said that "unkindness" is a national phenomenon. We are all locked in our own life development progress bar, and we can't "hide" those people whose progress bar is faster than ours.
The malice between acquaintances is often much stronger than that between strangers.
This kind of talk seems to be enjoyable, but it is really mean, and it belongs to the kind that tells people face to face that they will be slapped directly. Sometimes imagine smiling colleagues and classmates around you. Behind the smiling face, it is also a terrible thing to have such a real idea. This is no longer a shame, but a habit of indiscriminately labeling everyone else as "sunburned", "dizzy" and "brainless" and then angrily spraying a sense of existence.
Practicing calligraphy spontaneously, someone always teases when passing by: "Hey, what kind of cultural person are you pretending to be?"
Send a few ancient poems made by yourself in a circle of friends, and someone will leave a message: "Why waste time on this?"
When you buy a new T-shirt, someone will say, "Hey, you are too fat. This style doesn't suit you. "
For this kind of person, it is very vivid to describe it with the phrase "everything is embarrassing, and people will die if they don't talk".
You showed him your attitude, but he said, "I'm so frank, I wouldn't remind you of this if I weren't a friend" and "Why are you so stingy? Don't mind joking. "
In life, I often meet this kind of person who claims to be straightforward, regardless of time and place, and open the ridicule mode at any time. The word "impeccable" does not exist, because they can find fault with you anyway.
Similarly, if someone codes carefully in the circle of friends, just like on Zhihu, will it be praised by people around him? If you do, these people will comment on you like aliens. "That XXX who writes thousands of words in the circle of friends every day is really idle" "Hahahaha, yes, I can't stand it when I open it" ... If you seriously ask him to talk about what is acceptable in the circle of friends, he often opens his mouth and can't speak. So you see, no matter what you write, do or post, these people will not be satisfied.
6. It is a virtue not to diss others casually.
Li Shanglong, a writer, mentioned a friend who had been close but had broken up in his collection of essays "You just look sad".
Li Shanglong often wears untidy clothes. Every time she goes out with that friend, she will say loudly in front of some friends, Li Shanglong, look at that dress you are wearing. It's ugly. If you don't change, people who don't know will think you are a reform-through-labour prisoner.
On one occasion, Li Shanglong showed her a newly-released work that everyone praised. She didn't even finish the first chapter, so she couldn't say it well. Since then, Li Shanglong has never contacted this friend again.
This seemingly straightforward but actually selfish expression is unacceptable to anyone, even good friends.
I remember seeing a very interesting story before: Xiao Ming, who has just worked for one year, received a year-end bonus of 30 thousand yuan in the company, and he is very happy to have a good year this year. Take 3000 yuan to take my parents out for a few days, buy a new TV set for my family, and save the rest of the money first. This is the plan. At this moment, I thought of his classmate Xiao Huang and wanted to make a phone call to show off. "Xiao Huang, do you have time to come out after work?" "Of course, why are you so happy to call me today?" "Our company issued a year-end award today, and I thought of you first!" "Oh, our company has also made it." "How much did you send?" Sent 40 thousand yuan. When Xiao Ming heard it, it was all broken. Because at school, Xiao Huang has always been the worst student among them, and he often makes fun of him. In fact, his year-end award is more than Xiaoming's. The happy feeling just now is gone, and the more I think about it, the angrier I get. It is said that Xiaoming has never had a good year? How do you feel when you see this story? Are we the same? There are countless examples in our work and life: working in the same store, the boy who doesn't look so good actually receives customers who add shampoo or make reverse films continuously. You think to yourself: How lucky is he? A blind cat must have met a dead mouse; An old customer who often looks for his own shampoo was received by another colleague because he was busy. He also added a gold card and bought a set of shampoo. You'll break down inside and think it's inhuman The children in the neighbor's house are as old as the children in their own house, and their arithmetic is outstanding. What you think of is not praise, but this is ok. What's the use with others? ..... In daily life and work, if friends and relatives are better than you, how would you feel? Most people may be sour in their hearts. It is easy for us to take a jealous, exclusive attitude, or even belittle and be hostile when we see that others are better than ourselves and have achieved achievements that we have not achieved. Under the influence of this negative emotion, you constantly complain and lose, not only have a bad relationship with friends and colleagues around you. More importantly, it may waste valuable attention, stop the pace of progress and miss many opportunities for success.
Why do we always avoid others? First, people are born with a good face. We all want to work hard, have a good family and everything is fine. Because of this, we often see some people putting on airs after a little success, which is very annoying. To be a man, you must learn to keep a low profile. Everyone knows how you are. Everyone has great face and likes to be praised. When the people around us are excellent, they will set us off and we will show disdain for them. Do we really need to compete with others for this vanity? Second, everyone is afraid of hardship and fatigue, and everyone has the idea of fighting for the first place in his bones. Winning the first place means hard work. When there are people around us who do better than us, they have to make greater efforts on their behalf, which means going through a very tiring process. We all hope that people around us will not work so hard and get a good impression with a little effort; There are still many people who are unwilling to work hard, so they will draw people around them, stop working hard, and then get together to eliminate those who work hard. This is why colleagues who are very active at first become negative for a while. Do not forget your initiative mind, do what you should do and always remind yourself whether you have deviated from your goal. Third, everyone likes to be praised and cared for. As the old saying goes, the poor don't ask in downtown, and the rich have distant relatives in the mountains. Everyone likes to listen to compliments and be noticed. To get praise and attention, you must be excellent first. If you don't do well, you will be forgotten and criticized by others. So when the people around us are better than us, we always try our best to find something from him to laugh at him and prove that he is not so good, just like us. The correct way is to analyze the reasons why he did well and try to secretly surpass him. So when you can't see others' goodness, you should face up to your heart. What is the reason for this emotion? In this era, who do we really need to beat to live a better life? Actually, it's totally unnecessary. Mentality, you can consider it. Others have done nothing wrong to you, but are better than you in work or life. And whether he does well or not will not affect your interest at all. Come to think of it, many people pay too much attention to others and beat themselves. As soon as they see the goodness of others, they are in a particularly bad mood, which ultimately affects their work or life, colleagues' relationship and family harmony. Is it worth it?
1. Being unfriendly is a kind of jealousy. Everyone has this kind of psychology, so we must first face it squarely. Don't resist, accept that others will be jealous of you. Others are jealous because you are better than them. If you want to understand this, you will feel better inside.
2. Being surrounded by people who can't see you, you feel uncomfortable because of their unintentional injuries. Because I can't see how you are, I often hit you when I am depressed, and my negative energy and influence are bursting. Many people deliberately make themselves worse because they are afraid of this kind of injury, and make themselves at the same level as mediocre people. The beauty of wood in the forest will be destroyed by the wind. It has been such a traditional thought since ancient times. However, this idea is also a strategy of the ancients. I am excellent, but I don't have to be honest with others in everything. Being modest, not showing off, and trying to avoid hurting yourself is also a smart strategy. What I want to emphasize here is that it doesn't really make you mediocre, but learn to hide your sharpness, hide your strength, show your strength at critical moments, and defeat the enemy with one move. I don't see anything wrong with me. When I am good enough to make you look up, you will only be jealous. This is human nature. The recent incident of Dr. Zhai Tianlin tells us that we should never pretend that X was struck by lightning. )
3. Learn to distinguish between others and yourself. How others can't see you is someone else's business. Whether I am good or not is not decided by others, but by myself. We can't control others, only ourselves.
Pay attention to those who encourage you, although they are few. When you pay attention to people who can't see you, you will find that others around you can't see you. It's like buying a car and finding that you are driving the same car all over the street. Therefore, pay more attention to those who can help you and encourage you, and gradually there will be more and more positive people around you. And fewer and fewer people will not see you.
5. learn to distinguish. There are many people who can't see what you are like, but not many. Some don't show mountains and rivers, but silently give you a ride behind your back. So you should also carefully distinguish who is really good to you and who will hurt you. Similarly, water the saplings. Some people water with their heart, while others use boiled water. Moreover, you should work hard when you do things. Sometimes you often look at what is wrong with what you are doing from the perspective of a third party. Try not to leave a tail for yourself and let people with ulterior motives catch you. Make your things perfect. Although it is not easy to do this, if you can do it, your ability will be greatly improved.
6. Don't exaggerate the number and harm of unfriendly people. Most of us are ordinary people, and we are a little jealous, but we can't do too many things out of line. The chances of meeting someone who makes you feel bad and hurts you are not as much as you think. But if you encounter a small probability event, it will really make you feel particularly dangerous and uncomfortable. You should escape as soon as possible, as far away from such people as possible.