The first principle: happiness is not given by others, but by yourself to win the needs and love of others.

Loneliness is a common problem of modern people.

Many lonely people do this because they don't understand that love and friendship are not gifts from the sky. If a person wants to be welcomed and accepted by others, he must pay a lot of efforts and costs.

If you want to overcome loneliness, you must stay away from the shadow of self-pity and bravely walk into the crowd full of light. We are going to meet people and make new friends. Wherever you go, you should be in high spirits and try to share your joy with others.

The second principle: worry is the enemy of health, eliminate the worry in your heart.

Dr. Alexis Karel said: "In the complicated modern city, only those who can keep their inner peace will not become insane." "People who don't know how to resist worry will die short-lived."

At present, one out of every 65,438+00 people living in this world will have a mental breakdown, and most of them are caused by anxiety and emotional conflicts.

Among the patients contacted by doctors, as long as their fears and worries can be eliminated, 70% of them will naturally get better.

Nothing can age a woman and ruin her appearance more than worry.

William james said: "God may forgive our sins, but our nervous system will not."

Worry is like dripping, dripping, dripping, and the constant worry about dripping, dripping, dripping usually makes people lose their minds and commit suicide.

Learn to cheer yourself up, constantly remind yourself of the consequences of worrying, and pray often.

The third principle: the panacea to eliminate anxiety-do the following three things well with Willis Karel's magic prescription:

1. Ask yourself, "What's the worst that can happen?"

If you must accept it, be prepared to accept it.

3. calmly think of ways to improve the worst situation.

William james, the father of applied psychology, once told his students: To be willing to bear this situation ... Accepting a fait accompli is the first step to overcome any misfortune that comes with it.

Lin Yutang's "The Art of Life" mentioned that you can give full play to your new ability psychologically by being calm and ... accepting the worst situation.

When we accept the worst, we won't lose anything, that is, everything can be recovered.

Willis Carrell told us: After facing the worst situation, I immediately relaxed and felt a calm that I had not experienced for several days, and then I could think.

Elmer Thomas: Those who are born with defects or poverty are more likely to feel shy and inferior. You should see the bright side of yourself and make some achievements, so as to overcome inferiority and anxiety.

The fourth principle: apply Aristotle's law;

1. Find out the truth: What am I worried about?

2. Analyze the facts: What can I do?

3. Make a decision: What do I decide to do?

4. Act on it immediately: once a decision is made, it should be put into action on the same day, while completely ignoring the responsibility and not worrying about the consequences.

Dean Hawkes said that confusion is the main cause of anxiety. If a person can spend all his time looking for facts with a very detached and objective attitude, his worries will disappear without a trace under the light of knowledge.

Charles Caitlin said that as long as the problem can be explained clearly, the problem is half solved.

The fifth principle: four steps to halve anxiety, and repeat these questions:

1. What's wrong?

2. What is the cause of the problem?

3. What solution can you find?

4. Which method did you decide to use?

Dorothy Dix (American columnist): I often fall into the abyss of poverty and disease. People ask me how to spend it. I often answer, "If I had survived yesterday, I would have survived today. I will never allow myself to think about what tomorrow will be like. " Doris Dix only "lives in today's box", and he overcame his worries.

The sixth principle: keep yourself busy and let busyness eliminate troubles.

Work-keeping you busy-is the best treatment for mental illness.

James Mucher, a professor of education at Columbia Normal University: Worry hurts you the most, not when you take action, but after a day's work. At that time, your imagination will be confused, reminding you of all kinds of absurd possibilities and exaggerating every little mistake. At this time, your mind is like a car without cargo, running around, crashing everything, and even turning yourself into pieces. The best way to get rid of troubles is to get busy and do something useful. "

If we are worried about something, let us remember that we can regard work as a good ancient therapy.

Seventh principle: Let your life be today and live in today's sealed cabin.

Thomas Caleri: What we should do first is not to look into the distant future, but to do what is clear in front of us.

Robert stevenson: No matter how heavy the burden is, everyone can support it until nightfall. No matter how difficult the work is, everyone can finish his work that day. Everyone can live to the sunset sweetly, patiently, lovingly and purely. This is the true meaning of life.

For a wise man, every day is a new life.

I know that the most pitiful thing in human nature is that we all like to procrastinate. We all like to dream of a wonderful rose garden on the horizon instead of enjoying the roses that open in front of our window today.

Live in life, every day, every moment.

Yesterday is just a dream and tomorrow is just a mirage, but living in a beautiful today can make every yesterday a happy dream and every tomorrow a mirage of hope.

Eighth principle: don't let yourself worry about some small things that should be put aside and forgotten. Remember, "Life is too short, don't worry about trifles."

Many times, if you want to overcome the troubles caused by some small things, you just need to shift your point of view and focus, and you will find a new idea that will make you happier.

The most basic reasons for unhappy married life are usually small things.

Let's spend our time and life only on actions and feelings worth doing, to think of some great ideas, to experience real feelings, and to do what must be done. Because life is too short to care about those little things.

The ninth principle: calculate the probability of things happening, and then ask yourself, what is the probability of things that I am worried about now?

99% of what we are worried about will not happen.

If we consider whether our worries are worth it according to the law of probability and truly do not worry for a long time, 90% of our worries can be eliminated.

Rule 10: Accept the inevitable.

William james: Being willing to accept the inevitable and the fact that it has happened is the first step to overcome any misfortune that comes with it.

Jesus: Accept the inevitable and accept it easily.

Walt whitman: Just like trees and animals, we should face darkness, storms, hunger, fools, accidents and setbacks.

Teach me not to cry for the moon and not to regret my mistakes.

In either case, as long as there is a little chance to save, we will struggle.

In order to stay awake, we should not "look around and worry about things".

Rule 11: Let your troubles stop here.

Learn to say to yourself, this matter is only worth a little snack, there is no need to worry more.

One of the biggest secrets of obtaining psychological peace is to have correct values.

Set a "stop here" limit for your worries.

Rule 12: Don't try to saw sawdust, and don't cry over spilled milk.

When you start to worry about what has been done or in the past, you are just sawing sawdust.

Smart people will never sit there and grieve for their losses, but they will be happy to find ways to make up for the damage.