Many children's behavior, most of the motivation comes from external promotion, not internal driving force, because they don't feel the fun of the thing itself, so they need the supervision of their parents without self-discipline.
Secondly, ignoring and denying children's feelings is painful, uncomfortable and depressing. Parents think this is a sign of weakness and need to exercise their patience. In fact, this is a misunderstanding of parents. The most influential thing is that it is difficult for children to feel the pain of others, to distinguish the expressions and feelings of others, and to integrate into the normal community in their future work.
Don't treat negative consequences as punishment, treat direct consequences as punishment. For example, tell your child to eat at 5: 30, and the child has been shirking because of watching TV, so the child should not eat and bear the consequences of his promise but not doing it.
Parents, especially mothers, are the most important safety barriers for children. When children feel that your emotions are out of control, they will be particularly afraid and their intimacy will be destroyed. And the correct way to guide, this book introduces this way of emotional guidance in detail.
In the early days when children can speak, most of the words we teach are nouns. In fact, children should learn emotional words, such as depression, happiness, happiness, coordination, persistence and patience. Of course, these invisible nouns are also difficult to teach. Need to show more patience.
When children understand some basic emotions and inner feelings, the steps of emotional guidance are as follows.
The first step: sow seeds. Tell your child what is right repeatedly before, during and after sowing. Ask your child, can you do it?
Step 2: Observe and judge children. When the emotional state drops, squat down, look straight, and understand the child's feelings: I can understand that you feel wronged/painful now (accurately tell the child's inner feelings or emotions, and reduce the child's rising emotions).
Step 3: Guide-Ask: What do you think can solve the problem? (Let children learn to think independently)
Step 4: By doing this, you learn what sharing is, or what persistence is and what patience is (evaluating and affirming results).
This is a practical book. I recorded all the key points and essences and slowly applied them to the communication with children. I hope our children are not only happy, but also become people with independent thinking ability and face their own hearts independently.