A classic sentence: happy people use their childhood to cure their whole lives, while unfortunate people use their whole lives to cure their childhood. This comes from Adler, the founder of individual psychology.
? The best gift for children's childhood is a sense of security. At this point, explore your feelings through stories.
? 1983, a native of Pingdingshan, Henan Province, is a celebrity of parenting network. It was a time of strict family planning. Because there was already a sister on it, her parents wanted a son, so after she was born, she gave it to her aunt. My aunt dotes on her, so she is very happy.
? But there are also things that have great influence. When she was four or five years old, her parents took her home again.
What a blow to a four-or five-year-old child-the mother who used to shout every day was not her mother! I left my home where I lived for four or five years and came to another home.
? One thing she has never forgotten: when she first returned to her parents' house, once she wanted to go to the toilet in the middle of the night, I vaguely shouted, "Mom, I want to go to the toilet!" " "
? Niang is her name for my aunt. I woke up suddenly after I didn't respond to her two shouts. I realized that I wasn't with menstruation, and I should call my biological mother "Mom". So I changed my mind and said, "Mom, I have to go to the bathroom." At this moment, the light in the room came on. For her, security is like this lamp. When I first returned to my biological mother's house, it was always dark.
? Looking back on myself, I have been looking for a sense of security for half my life: every job is the first, but I am not confident; In the process of getting along with her husband, she is afraid of being abandoned ... all these actually stem from her childhood experience. It seems insignificant, but it has far-reaching influence.
When I was a child, I was always the most favored person in my mother's family. When I am sick, I don't take medicine. My mother will take a bite of medicine and a bite of sugar to feed me.
? There is also a photo at home, holding hands and naughty standing on the flowerpot. In contrast to the smile, in the corner of the photo, my mother stood next to the flowerpot, holding out her hands for fear that I would fall.
? For her, love is like these hands, always ready to follow me, so that she can move forward without worries.
Therefore, we firmly believe that we should give children enough love in childhood to help them build lifelong self-confidence.
Speaking of love, you may be confused: how can I not love my children?
? Indeed, many times, it is not that we don't love, but that we don't know what is the best love for children. This point, too many people have personal experience.
? There is a suggestion that everyone should savor carefully: at any time, ensure the health and happiness of children first, and then pursue better things.
? Whether the child will become excellent or ordinary in the future, whether parents can accept it, parents, you want the child to be healthy at first, and the rest are extra rewards.
In addition, there is an old saying that beating is kissing and scolding is love. But I don't think good children are made. Beating and cursing seems to change children effectively and quickly, but it can't solve the problem fundamentally. The child listens to you on the surface, because he is afraid of you and won't tell you anything in the future.
Some children, because they are too young to understand, are afraid to tell their parents about things such as online loans and unexpected pregnancies, and try to solve them themselves, which eventually leads to a very bad ending. These are all problems worthy of our consideration, and we need to think ahead and find out the distant but far-reaching reasons.
? I have a child too. He is still very young, but sometimes he can't help but want to make rules. Finally, one day, I was a little fierce. Watching the child cry, I know how helpless and ineffective my behavior is. Children cry because of fear, obey because of fear, and obey because of powerlessness. He became obedient. Similarly, he will become a child you don't understand or even like because of this obedience.
? Beating is not kissing, scolding is not love. Only when parents are calm can children feel safe. This is the best love for children. Finally, I want to emphasize that not beating, not cursing and not being fierce does not mean inaction, let alone letting it develop. Love can be expressed in various ways, but first you have to throw away the way you don't want to accept.