The egg-laying rooster, the fighter among roosters, oh yeah!

1. This sentence comes from the 2007 CCTV Spring Festival Gala skit - "Planning". Starring Zhao Benshan, Song Dandan and Niu Qun, this sketch tells the story of a rooster laying eggs and is Mr. Zhao Benshan's classic sketch.

2. The lines of the sketch "Planning"

Song Dandan: My daughter-in-law, we have a guest at home, and we have to eat hard food. Where will you broadcast it after you finish recording it?

Niu Qun: It is broadcast on all local stations.

Song Dandan: Local stations are good, but don’t let the central station broadcast them, they are unreliable (laughter). When I came back from CCTV last year, that guy memorized words all the way, and he was compensated for whatever he did (laughter).

Niu Qun: Auntie, let me take a picture of you.

Song Dandan: I won’t take photos with him.

Niu Qun: Let me take a group photo with you.

Song Dandan: Take a photo together, otherwise people will think we are divorced again.

Song Dandan: Old Man, Old Hei (Zhao Benshan appeared from the right side of the stage to warm applause).

Niu Qun: Hello, audience friends, standing behind us now are two celebrities, Bai Yun and Heitu. Not long ago, a huge and strange thing happened in their home. Their rooster actually laid eggs.

(Zhao Benshan ran away, Song Dandan followed)

Zhao Benshan: You old woman’s mouth is like a cotton waistband!

Song Dandan: What’s wrong?

Zhao Benshan: So loose!

Zhao Benshan: When a rooster lays eggs in our house, it doesn’t mean that I am pregnant (laughter).

Song Dandan: I counted, one, two...

Zhao Benshan: You have been counting one, two, three all your life.

Song Dandan: I said you have to cooperate from the beginning.

Niu Qun: Come on, let’s start recording the show.

Zhao Benshan: The last time I published a book, I still owed him 20,000 yuan in fees.

Niu Qun: (takes out money) This is the prepaid labor fee.

Song Dandan: If you want to know the details, please log in to Baiyunpiaopiaodian.com.

Niu Qun: Why did Aunt open a blog?

Song Dandan: Nowadays, celebrities all publish books.

Niu Qun: Are there any signs before the rooster lays eggs?

Zhao Benshan: No sign.

Song Dandan: There are signs, there are signs, how can there be no signs? If there are indeed signs before a chicken lays an egg, and the signs are obvious, the most important thing is the change in facial expression.

Zhao Benshan: The chicken laughed first. (Everyone laughed)

Niu Qun: (laughing) Please describe in detail what happens before a chicken lays an egg.

Zhao Benshan: There were no signs at the time. It was impossible. At that time, the chicken was particularly conflicted. For a rooster,

it actually wanted to lay eggs, but it was not its life. Dry. What do you think of the big cock? What do ducks think? What do you think of the goose? What do you think of the little hen that got along well with it? When a rooster hatches a chick, what do others call it? Should you call me dad, mom, or aunt?

Aunt? It couldn't lay its eggs and was panicking, so...

Song Dandan: It strengthened its belief, laid its own eggs, and let others talk about it.

Cows: Uncle and aunt, where did they lay their eggs?

Song Dandan: Let me ask you, where did you go?

Zhao Benshan: He was quite stressed at the time. He was embarrassed, so he walked for a walk and came to the chicken coop, but he couldn't. I came to the duck cage again, but it didn't work either. Then I couldn't hold it any longer, so I found a kennel and laid the eggs.

Cows: Doghouse? How was it discovered?

Song Dandan: I was discovered by the paparazzi. In the past, the rooster walked on the walk, with its chest raised and its head raised, and it was majestic; after laying rooster eggs, the walk

has been changed. It has changed like this (I started to imitate the rooster walk). The chicken claws can be scratched vigorously. I didn't understand it at first

It took me a long time to study it before I finally came to my senses. I was practicing my signature.

Cows: Uncle and aunt, where have the eggs laid by the rooster gone?

Zhao Benshan: Eat it.

Niu Qun: Are there any side effects?

Zhao Benshan: It tastes just like the ordinary one.

Song Dandan: Nonsense. Although it cannot be said to be a cure-all, the effects are different. Many elderly people are troubled by the sequelae of cerebral hemorrhage

My wife suffered from the sequelae of cerebral hemorrhage last year. In the past, the aisle looked like this before he ate rooster eggs (pulling Zhao Benshan to perform, Zhao Zhi stared blankly), after eating, the guy looked like this again (Zhao Benshan fell to the ground in response).

Niu Qun: What’s wrong?

Song Dandan: No more recording, no more recording, just play this paragraph upside down. (Urges Zhao Benshan to go down and serve the food)

Niu Qun: We also want to ask the aunt to be an image spokesperson for the rooster eggs.

Song Dandan: That’s no problem.

Niu Qun: Then let’s sign the contract. The 20,000 yuan is labor fee. If you break the contract, you can get double repayment.

Song Dandan: Oh, no problem, ten times the compensation will do.

Niu Qun: This is an endorsement. Please ask the uncle to bring the chicken over.

Song Dandan (looked at it carefully): Oh, this guy is so talented. He only has two sentences, which are quite concise. The rooster that lays eggs,

The fighter among roosters! Oh--yeah.

Zhao Benshan came on stage and told Song Dandan: The chicken is gone.

Song Dandan: Where have you gone?

Zhao Benshan: Pointing to the vegetable basin on the table, my wife stewed it. (Song fainted at that time)

Zhao Benshan: Wife, what happened to you?

Song Dandan: It’s over, our family’s famine has now reached 40,000!

Zhao Benshan: Wife, Xiaoyun, baby, stop crying! I'm here, what's going on?

Niu Qun: What’s wrong with Auntie?

Zhao Benshan: The chicken is gone!

Niu Qun: Uncle, don’t make such a joke. I just signed the contract with Auntie. The endorsement fee is 20,000. Once signed, the contract will come into effect.

If you can't get the chicken, you'll have to pay 40,000 yuan.

(Zhao was stupid, Song Dandan continued to cry)

Zhao Benshan: What are you doing? Where's the crow?

Niu Qun: Then tell me where the chicken is?

Zhao Benshan: Taking a nap.

Niu herd: Still taking a nap?

Zhao Benshan: Since this chicken became famous, jet lag has become a mess. (Q) How much is this chicken worth?

Niu Qun: Uncle, let me tell you the truth, this chicken was originally worthless, but after I hyped it up, it became worth a lot

. Fried, boiled, or stewed, it’s all valuable!

Zhao Benshan: Are you saying that it’s valuable no matter whether it’s dead or alive?

Niu Qun: That’s right.

Song Dandan: Oh, old man, you are so talented.

Zhao Benshan: For example, if this famous rooster dies, will the meat be valuable?

Niu Qun: Yes.

Zhao Benshan: How much is meat worth?

Niu Qun: Let’s just talk about this. If you don’t get two thousand, you have no right to eat it.

Zhao Benshan: Where are the chicken hearts?

Cattle herd: four thousand.

Zhao Benshan: Chicken liver?

Cattle herd: six thousand.

Zhao Benshan: Chicken kidney?

Cattle herd: eight thousand.

Zhao Benshan: It’s done, that’s enough. You can't carry it away, but you can carry it away. You can take back the 20,000 yuan.

It's okay to eat here, just think of it as if I treated you to a dinner worth 20,000 yuan.

Song Dandan:: Wife, you are so talented!

(End)