1. Thank you everyone! I feel very honored that so many of you came to visit me today...

2. Allah (our) stocks not only play with people, but also with birds. Even the bird has been played to death by you, so why is Allah still playing like a bird? !

3. Every time I see Premier Wen on TV at an old farmer’s house, he always picks the dirtiest person to shake hands with (then Zhou Libo gives Premier Wen’s premier): “Let’s do this It’s too late!”

4. Everyone thinks that he is a stock god and makes money by trading. Even the aunt who sells green onions in the small market said: “I have news!”

5 , The most remnant (poor) are the sparrows. The big screen at the entrance of the securities company has never been red, it has always been green. The sparrows don’t understand. They think that the Qingqing Forest Park and the Yanzhong Green Space have arrived, and they rush towards the big screen one after another! If you rush one, one will die. If you rush, one will die.

6. Who called Sarkozy no two no three, no three no four!

7. Later I went to observe (the Yuanxiao mold) and it turned out that they took half a mouthful and spit it out, and some of them spit out the foam even if they didn’t spit it out well! Basically they gulp it down all afternoon, and a cup of coffee can be turned into a cappuccino.

8. Collapse Collapse means falling into pieces!

9. A person must have a legal concept and know how to protect himself. Of course, if you don’t break the law after you understand the law, it would be a waste.

10. The worst thing is the cramp dance, where three to four hundred people dance together, as if they can’t find a toilet.

11. Do you still remember the swimsuits worn by girls in the past? It's like...more than six hundred blind knots are worn on the body. Later, a skirt was added, which looked like the skirt of a turtle.

12. Friends! Help! What a big friend! Marlboro, inside pocket!

13. (Magnetic levitation) A generous investment of 10 billion has solved the traffic problem of 30 kilometers.

14. Don’t be too curious about malted milk at that time! I went to my classmate's house, and ***'s mother made me a cup of malted milk. It was amazing! At that time, children were given malted milk! But when I picked it up and took a look, it was crazy how the (cup) could shine on the opposite side! ***Mom just put in a few pills (malted milk extract)! She used it as chicken essence! He also inserted a chopstick and told me: Tune it, stir it! Originally it was a bit muddy (turbid), but now it's very clear (very clear)! !

At the beginning of 2008, the Prime Minister said: 2008 will be the most difficult year. Nothing happened until the Prime Minister said this. As soon as the Prime Minister finished speaking, everything happened. Are you taking a train, it’s derailed, you’re celebrating the New Year, there’s a snowstorm, you’re sitting at home, there’s an earthquake.

16. In all these years, I have never found Liu Huan’s neck.

17. A blaze of fire burned down our Greater Khingan Mountains.

18. Li Yuchun answered a question that I was puzzled by. Originally, I didn’t even believe in “Mulan Joins the Army”. How could Mulan join the army without being discovered? . Later, when I met Li Yuchun, I finally knew, oh! It turns out that it is technically possible!

19. Li Yuchun-Both boys and girls are the same!

20. Remember! Marriage is a set meal that must be eaten together. Marriage is currency and must be eaten together.

21. Bai Bai (Uncle): Little Funny, do you want to hear Bai Bai (Uncle)’s battle story? Do you want to hear how Bai Bai (uncle) became the monitor?

Libo: Bai Bai (uncle), I want to hear it!

Bai Bai (Uncle): At that time, I was a soldier of the Ala (our) sharp knife squad. The Ala sharp knife squad was always the first in the battle. When the enemy dropped a cannonball, everyone next to me fell down. No, I didn't fall.

Libo: What next?

Bai Bai (Uncle): Then I became the monitor.

Li Bo: ......... Then Bai Bai (Uncle), how did you become the platoon leader?

Bai Bai (Uncle): Platoon leader, this is so pitiful! Back then, I led Ala's sharp knife squad and sharp knife platoon to chase the enemy in Fujian. Ala rushed to the front. The enemy retreated and fought, and the people next to me fell one by one. After rushing to the end, I was the only one left. This time. The six enemies fled to a temple in front and locked the door. At this time, I took a look and saw where my gun was. I only had two grenades on me, so I pulled off the hijab, pulled the fuse, kicked the door open, and shouted: I'm not alive anymore!

Libo: What next?

Bai Bai (Uncle): Then I became the platoon commander...

Li Bo: ......... Then Bai Bai (Uncle), how did you become the company commander?

Bai Bai (Uncle): This is really miserable! At that time, I led the Ala Jian Dao platoon to participate in the battle. Ala occupied a high point. Ala and the Jian Dao platoon were together. All we had to do was wait for the general attack. All we had to do was not let the flag fall. There was a burst of crazy shooting, the flag fell down, and my comrades helped it up. With one shot, his comrade fell down, and one of them rushed to help him up. When I finally looked, I was alone again. I thought I was going to die this time.

But I died gloriously for the revolution! My comrade-in-arms and I are going to Baixiang! So I rushed forward, raised the flag, and shouted: "Comrades! I'm ready to die!" As a result, the enemy surrendered.

22. In a thousand years, not one will be born, but Zhou Libo. You think I am a turtle!

23. To be friends with a person, you must not only accept his advantages, but also like his shortcomings. This is called Quexi (fool).

24. I bowed for such a long time, not to seek applause. In fact, I mainly wanted everyone to check that my head posture (head direction) is clear.

25. Now our Chinese stock market should be reversed, and it has become an accident.

26. The two unfavorable factors met together, making us very ridiculed and ridiculed.

27. If you spend 380 yuan to see Zhou Libo at Meiqi and you don’t laugh, you will send Zhou Libo to the hospital.

28. Think about it, this 380 yuan is useless at home. The most you can tell is, hey, this is a counterfeit bill! It starts with HD!

29. Wan Ti Pavilion, you think it is a spittoon!

30. Big stage! You think I'm here blindly!

31. This belongs to the color spirit child (hint) and the color flattery.

32. Fei Yuqing, I have calculated it for him. Every time he holds a concert in Shanghai, he runs away the next day. He does not spend money in Shanghai. This has a great impact on our entire GDP in Shanghai. There is no benefit at all!

33. Fei Yuqing is an actor I like very much. He sings so well and has such a good temperament. This man is very charming.

34. Think about it, a man stands on stage, looks like a sissy, but is not easy to admire (hate), this is definitely difficult!

35. You must tolerate my ignorance just like you tolerate your leaders. I don’t mean that leaders must be ignorant, but leaders are basically ignorant. This statement is wrong! How can a leader be ignorant? The leader is so smart as to be stupid!

In 37 and 30 years, Saddam can become a hanged man.

38. Retail investors can also become a wimp.

39. A red guy (boy) can become a mold (big brother); a mold can also become a red guy. This is called the Chilao mold.

40. Guan: So do you think he looks like a welder wearing these glasses?

Zhou: Please don’t tease me?

41. I am very careful. I found that in the swimming pool, especially for female compatriots, the angle of the swimming trunks goes upwards by 20 degrees on average every five years.

42. (Trademark) is gone, from Shanghai. No matter how strong the accent is, as long as it has this thing (trademark), Bazi (bumpkin).

43. Uncle, you understand, this is called a heat sink!

44. I pinched off the two pointed ends of the fried dough sticks, and then my mother pinched me again (my mother pinched me again).

45. This feeling is like when you go to Nanjing Road to get Li, and you say: Master, help me get three Rolexes.

46. My mother also beat me for eating.

47. If you want to give birth to a beautiful mixed-race child, you must live as far away as possible, the farther away the better.

48. If my face can be considered a mixed-race person, it is at most a mixed-race person from Vietnam and Cambodia.

49. This son is standing here. This father must not be a fuel-efficient lamp!

50. Children always have a guilty conscience when they make mistakes, and they always poop behind the door until dawn.

51. Newton suddenly became a scientist when an apple fell on his head. What do you think if an apple fell on his head? Newton died.

52. In restaurants like this now, shredded radish is placed under the beef. I learned this from me. I knew how to do it in the 1970s.

53. I took apart the alarm clock I bought at home and reinstalled it, but it didn’t go away.

54. Later, my mother’s technology improved. She used two slippers to hit me, and one was specially used to make fake moves.

55. Fight me like a zebra.

56. (Imitating a female classmate) Hey, Zhou Libo, did ***’s mother buy new slippers again? How do you know?

The pattern you have today is different from the one yesterday. The one you have today is straight, while the one yesterday was S-shaped.

57. Happiness and happiness are two different things.

58. I don’t know who came up with this sentence: Ah, don’t let your children lose at the starting line! Pooh! (Shakes head)

59. If children in this country have lost their innocence, then this country’s future must lack imagination.

60. One time I happened to be driving, and a 12-year-old kid was on the phone. He called the radio station to request a song for ***’s mother.

Auntie, I want to Request a song for my mom.

What song would you like to sing for your mother?

I would like to order a song by Aunt XXX for my mother called "Why Women Make Things Hard for Women".

61. Now if you ask Li Ka-shing to calculate this linear equation of one variable, he guarantees that he will not be able to do it, let alone the linear equation of two variables.

62. Think about it, where are the original monitors and study committee members? They all sell tickets at the door.

63. For example, if you say Guan Dongtian’s house is 100 square meters and Zhou Libo’s is 50 square meters, after it was sent to the Bureau of Statistics, Zhou Libo’s house was inexplicably changed to 75 square meters.

64. (Speaking of the night park) You have to escape after 6 o'clock. Why? Because the zone defense team comes out and shines a flashlight on you, and the zone defense teams in the early 1980s were all filthy.

65. (Talking about the visit of the Moscow State Ballet to China) I discovered a strange phenomenon. Almost everyone has a telescope, and there are also high-power telescopes in the first row.

66. I can’t do that kind of action. It’s ugly. The action is so big. I brought a monocular...

67. I put it on the back of the chair. Look, the movement is small, but look at Ha Ching Sang (very clear). Without losing elegance...

68. Without Comrade Xiaoping, there would be no us. Maybe we would still be fighting cocks.

69. Later, before he left office, he (Deng Xiaoping) was worried that they would close the door again, so he removed the door cover and we are where we are today.

70. I have a friend who has 42 TV sets at home... He repairs TV sets.

71. (Telling that there was a TV at home in 1979) When night came, I asked the aunt next door to borrow a red armband to wear on my hand. Then I took a ruler and sat in the back. Yesterday I sat Still want to sit in the first row today? Sit in the third row!

72. This is passed. If it is passed, it is wrong. This is called a fault.

73. I’m so hungry when I’m watching a TV show. If a close-up camera happens to push it up to my face, oh, I’m so hungry. I’m so hungry. The two nostrils are like two bowls of rice, and they are so annoying to read! (The scariest thing is watching a TV show. It’s really scary. If a close shot happens to push it up and onto your face, oh, it’s really scary. Really, the two nostrils are like two bowls of rice. How scary is that? Ah! )

74. This is the world of Marlboro. (Cantonese)

75. Nong Fa Yao Gang, a member of the Red Lao Association in the United States. (Don’t tell me, Americans really know how to do business.)

76. Advertisements have come in, and they are shown to you every day, but you can’t buy them.

77. (Speaking of piling molds) At this time, a new industry appeared in Shanghai, which is still called piling molds.

78. All the piling models in Shanghai seem to have been taught by the same teacher. They are all dressed the same. Maybe they drink the same water from the Pujiang River?

79. How can you make fun of it? (What do you mean?)

80. Men and women must not forget romance after getting married. Men will give 999 roses before getting married. After getting married, don’t just snore 999 times. On Valentine’s Day, , never forget to give your wife a beautiful rose. You must know that the spiritual value of a rose is much higher than that of a towering tree for a woman.

81. When a wife believes in her husband, it is also a sign of confidence! You cannot manage well by relying on management. The foundation of marriage is trust! A marriage without trust becomes a shackles, a shackles, and will be broken sooner or later!

82. Everyone likes money, but money may not like everyone.

83. Children have their own future. Don’t impose our future on them, otherwise, they will have no future.

84. (After singing the song) Thank you for your tolerant applause. I now have the confidence to destroy Fei Yuqing.

85. My little Shenguang is so hungry that I immediately go up and touch the Yize boat. Oh, Mao Lao Dudu. (I was very naughty when I was a kid. I immediately went up to touch his hand. Oh, it’s very hairy.)

86. Because foreigners smell of perfume, now I know that they wear perfume because they have body odor. .

87. Our public mentality is now becoming more and more tolerant, right? At least we now admit that Li Yuchun is a woman!

88. There is a text called Mulan Joins the Army. At that time, even if I beat him to death, I didn’t believe how could Mulan join the army without being discovered! It’s impossible! Later I met Li Yuchun and realized, oh! This is technically possible!

89. The last time I opened it from my computer, I saw a poster of Li Yuchun, who looked so beautiful and hungry, and the little girl looked so sunny and hungry! Below is a slogan from the Family Planning Commission, which is: Boys and girls are born the same.

90. Children's Song:

Comrades, catch Lao Yi (catch him)! Speculation is selling salt water tablets (a cheap summer remedy in the old days)!

Comrades, catch Lao Yi! Speculation will lead to sales (a toad)!

Now: Speculation is called an intermediary.

91. For example, Feng Xiaogang, can his face be called a face?

92. Feng Xiaogang, with his face, if I met him in the alley at 9:30 in the evening, and Feng Xiaogang just walked over like this, I wouldn't let him do anything, I would just hand the wallet to him.

93. It used to be that the gangster who ran orders was named Hungry, but now he is called Sa? Now it’s called logistics.

94. How can there be experts in the stock market? There can’t be experts in the stock market! There are only losers and winners in the stock market.

95. We're the world now!

96. Everyone stopped at the top of the bar, and the faces of the two experts were both deeply entangled.

97. There is no concept of divorce at all in the mountains. They think that they are born with a combination of big cake and fried dough sticks.

98. (Talk about stocks and divorce) Forget it, everyone is stuck, let’s live together.

99. Making money used to be called Pafen for a long time, but now it’s called Lamy. Because I think the rabbi is ruthless.

100. (Talking about the classmate’s father) He was injured countless times, one here and one there, all on his body like a pack of mahjong tiles.

101. I have seen her (Han Hong) with her front teeth separated. If I look closely, you can see her little tongue!

102. Culture For people in the art world, I have come to the conclusion that people with ugly faces are generally very strong.

103. Zhang Yimou looks ugly? Absolutely hungry! Nong Gangyi is beautiful and belongs to the category of Nong with problems!

104. Zhang Yimou’s face is as hungry as if it had been chopped by a kitchen knife! And it’s an unopened kitchen knife!

105. Stand still and wait for your second shoe to come up.

106. We, Premier Wen, used the Confucian way to deal with it, and went on a tour around France. If you don't go in, you will die later (you will die in a hurry).

107. Then why doesn’t your president go to see bin Laden?

108. Are you eating the tofu of our Chinese people?

109. If you, Sarkozy, dare to go to see Bin Laden, we, Premier Wen, guarantee that we have nothing to say and think, make four imitations (you are a hero).

110. Bin Laden has every reason to believe that Sarkozy is a barb sent by George W. Bush.

111. I didn’t realize until later that if I’m a model, I’ll be hungry easily. If I’m done, I’ll be hungry. If I’m tired, I’ll be very hungry! (I later learned that you can’t just find a model. If you don’t find it well, your brain will be damaged when you wake up!)

112. If we say that from 2006 to 2007, before October, we in China If the stock market were a science fiction movie, it would be called omnipotent. Then from 2007 to 2008 it became a thriller.

Now the Chinese stock market basically belongs to the situation where the boss goes in and the bad guy comes out.

The talent goes in and the coffin comes out.

The doctor goes in and the idiot comes out.

Yang Baiwan went in and Yang Bailao came out.

When you go in, you want to be rich, and when you come out, you want to be crazy.

Go in holding both guns and come out with both hands raised. All surrender their guns and stop killing.

If you want to imitate Buffett, you will be stripped out.

The well-off families go in, and the five guarantees are out.

Go in with a slap on the chest and come out with a slap in the face.

The man went in and the eunuch came out.

Zhou Libo rushed in and Zhou Bapi escaped.

The incontinence of urine and feces goes in, and the incontinence of urine and feces comes out.

113. Be tolerant of artists.

114. Did you ask Liu Huan to wear a stand-up collar to the gun bank? !

115. Have you ever seen a 6-year-old child get sexually transmitted diseases? If so, it was passed down to him by an adult.

116. They don’t have the ability to make us understand, so they try to confuse us.

117. You must be calm about the ups and downs, watch the flowers bloom and fall in front of the court, make profits and losses at will, and let the clouds roll and relax in the sky. If you can achieve this state in stocks, you are basically He is no longer a human being.

118. The northerners dislike the Shanghai people. Strangely enough, Ala has not offended them.

119. 87% of our fiscal revenue in Shanghai has been handed over to the state treasury.

120. For those who say bad things about Shanghai, go and check the three generations above. Which one of the three generations above you has not eaten our Shanghai White Rabbit toffee? ! There is no one who has never thought about wearing our Shanghai cool shirts, which are better than our Shanghai shirts.

121. And we Shanghainese are guilty of evil. If you search for three generations, not one of them is Shanghainese!

122. Brother, do you know? Where in China does a gangster come from? Brother, let me tell you, the gangsters in China are from Shanghai: Du Yuesheng, Huang Jinrong, and Zhang Xiaolin.

123. There are also bandits in the Northeast.

124. Brother, do you know? Hooligans don't hit people, and those who hit people are not hooligans.

125. When we Shanghai gangsters dislike anyone, they just say: Nei Zute (get rid of him).

126. Just one sentence: Nei Zute. Those who do it are all you Northeasterners!

127. Ah, Teacher Li is unique. She has a beautiful face. This face is by far the roundest in the world.

128. For example, if a compass circled around the tip of her nose, it would ensure that it would neither go out nor come in.

129. A mid-range suit, with a pair of gold-trimmed garlands, and a Daxing cashmere scarf.

130. The last time I saw Teacher Jiang on CCtV: "In that peach blossom..." The suit was from 1996.

131. Weird man, this peach blossom has been blooming for nearly 30 years, how can he thank his wife? Either it is a plastic flower.

132. If a person wants to be happy all his life, he should be a good person. If he wants to be happy for half his life, he should become an official, because you have to devote half your life to caring for the country and the people! If you want to be happy alone, just dream! If you want the whole family to be happy, do the housework; if you want everyone to be happy, be the host; if you want 600 people to be happy at the same time, come and see Shanghai Live Treasure Zhou Libo!