Funny Confucius Quotations
1. Heroes do not ask where they come from, and do not ask where news comes from.
2. If I don’t go to hell, whoever loves me will go to hell.
3. Confucius said: If you don’t sleep at noon, you will collapse in the afternoon.
4. Money is not the problem, the problem is lack of money.
5. Confucius said: If you are not afraid of super opponents, you are afraid of pig teammates.
6. I smile from side to side to the sky, and after I finish laughing, I go to sleep!
7. Buddha said: I am compassionate! One brick is almost as good as death!
8. Once he lost his footing, he became a big cripple, and then he looked back and slipped again.
9. I never hold grudges. I usually avenge them on the spot.
10. Confucius said: Take other people’s paths and leave others with nowhere to go.
11. Hold the child’s hand and drag the child away. If the son says he won’t leave, fine, close the door and let the dogs out.
12. I allow you to enter my world, but you are not allowed to walk around in it.
13. Confucius said: Fight with bricks! What a mess! Take a photo! Never die, never again!
14. Master said: Yo! Post in the forum, you can also get the essence, and I get extra points, oh!
15. Were you thrown upward three times when you were born? But I was only caught twice.
16. I once thought I was a flower on the cliff, but later I realized that I was just a dregs in the sea of ??people.
17. Confucius said: If you don’t sleep at noon, you will collapse in the afternoon. Mencius said: Confucius is right!
18. Buddha said: I am compassionate! Use a knife, it will hurt less. Reducing the pain is compassion!
19. You scold me now because you don’t understand me yet. When you understand me in the future, you will definitely hit me.
20. There is a sheep singing: String your heart and my heart together, string a mutton skewer, and then string a mutton skewer.
21. You say. do you like me? actually. I started. Actually me too. Well, let me tell you, I actually quite like myself.
22. My grandfather told me that the most touching words in the world are not that I love you, but that your tumor is benign.
23. Confucius said: Randomly, if it is a dark night, we will fight animals; if it is the undead, we will hit people, and we will play the game of knocking down towers. If you eat a tree at a close position, you will be frozen due to natural disasters. (Ice Peak Throne)
24. Confucius said: Isn’t it right to just play the game after finishing it? Lao Yang came from afar, wasn't he happy? If a person rides in a car without getting dizzy, isn't he a gentleman?
25. Confucius said: When I was ten, I went to knock down the tower. When I was thirty, I fought World of Warcraft. When I was forty, I fought StarCraft. At fifty, I went to fight the Red Alert. At sixty, I was abused. At seventy, I found my feelings again. beat.
26. Confucius said: Fight with bricks and look at your face. It is not suitable to mess up. Since this is the case, how can one be alone and have friends together? It's almost dead, it's almost dead!
27. When Confucius returned from traveling around the world, he encountered a naughty boy who built a castle blocking the way. The boy said: Sir, please go around! Confucius said: For urban reconstruction and road expansion, this castle needs to be demolished. Then he crushed it.
28. When I was looking for a job, the examiner asked me in which year I graduated. I was originally going to say 2000, but I got excited and said: Two thousand years ago. What’s even worse is that the examiner actually said "Oh" : A student of Confucius.
29. Let me ask you a question. If you get the answer right, you are a smart pig. If you get the answer wrong, you are a stupid pig: September 28 is the birthday of Confucius. So what holiday is October 28? Think, think again! Let me tell you, it’s the Confucius Full Moon!
30. Confucius will tell you what it means to teach according to wealth: at thirty, you can stand with thirty taels of silver and listen to the lecture; at forty, you have no doubts and at forty taels, you can keep asking questions until you have no doubts; at fifty, you know the destiny. Liang Neng knows the questions for tomorrow's exam.
31. When we arrived at the platform, the car had already started. So I had to chase and shout: Master, wait for me! Master, wait for me! At this time, a passenger stuck his head out of the car window and said to me: Wukong, please stop chasing me.
32. Confucius said: If you don’t keep your word, you don’t know what to do! It means that Confucius said, if a person doesn't even send text messages, how can he still hang out in the world? I sent you a text message from me to prove that I am still hanging around in the world.
33. Here is an interesting translation question for you: use the name that Confucius hates most to name the most humble one. The translation is: I beat my grandson with a stick. Confucius was afraid of sticks, which is a bit evil. I hope you didn't guess it!
34. Confucius said: I want to fool people and make them stupid. , so I asked Confucius: Does this sentence mean that I can fool people if I want to? Confucius said: NO. Do you want to know what it means? Fool! I lied to you, how could Confucius know me? Confucius didn’t even know English!
35. Jesus and Sakyamuni played guessing games. If you lose, let the opponent bounce his head. Jesus always wins, and Sakyamuni's head is covered with bullets. Finally, Sakyamuni won once. When Jesus saw that he had lost, he said: Wait for me for a while, and then play me again when you come back. Jesus never came back, so for thousands of years, one of Sakyamuni's hands has remained in the position of preparing to flick Jesus' head.
36. According to research, charging for schooling began with Confucius. After paying thirty taels of silver, there was no one sitting to listen, so the Master said: "At thirty, stand up." Hand over forty taels to answer the question. Confucius said: At forty, there is no confusion. Pay fifty taels to know the test questions in advance. Confucius said: At fifty, you know the destiny. Pay sixty taels, just praise without criticizing. The Master said: Sixty ears are attuned. Pay seventy taels, you can come or not, you can sit or lie down in class. Confucius said: At seventy, you can do whatever you want.
37. Confucius never entered the house. One day, he wanted to go to the police station to register. After arriving at the police station, he asked the household registration administrator: **, I want to register. Bring your birth certificate and family planning certificate. The administrator said. I don't have it! That won't work! I am Confucius! Even I can’t do it. well! Even I can't. It seems that I can only go to South Korea to register. They all helped Qu Yuan to register, and they don't need any certificate there! Confucius said to himself. Quotations of Confucius in the Analects of Confucius_Quotations of Confucius
Quotations of Confucius in the Analects of Confucius_Quotations of Confucius_
Confucius said: Man Ping Zhong is good at dealing with people and respects them over time.
(See "The Analects of Confucius-Gongye Chang").
☆Translation⊙
Confucius said: Yan Pingzhong is good at interacting with others. The longer others interact with him, the more they respect him.
The son is in Chen, and the day is: Return! Return! The kid in our party is crazy about writing, and he is so impressive that I don’t know why he should be cut off!
(See "The Analects of Confucius Gongye Chang").
☆Translation⊙
Confucius was in the state of Chen and said: Go back! Go back! The students over there are ambitious and unrestrained, and have great literary talents. I don't know how to guide them.
Yan Yuan and Ji Lushi. Confucius said: "Yu Yi each expressed his ambition?" Zilu Day: May the carriage, horse, and clothing be light, and be with friends, and I will have no regrets.
Yan Yuan said: I wish there would be no good deeds and no hard work. Zi Lu Day: I would like to hear Zi’s aspirations. Confucius said: The old take care of it, the friends trust it, and the young cherish it.
(See "The Analects of Confucius Gongye Chang").
☆Translation⊙
Yan Yuan and Ji Lu stood beside Confucius. Confucius said: Why don't you talk about your ambitions? Zilu said: I hope that I can use my carriages, horses and clothes with my friends. Even if they are worn out, I will not be dissatisfied. Yan Yuan said: I hope not to boast about my own benefits or express my own merits. Zilu said again: I hope to hear your ambition. Confucius said: (My ambition is) to give comfort to the old, to trust my friends, and to care for the young.
Confucius said: That's it. I have never seen anyone who can see his fault and sue himself. (See "The Analects of Confucius Gongye Chang").
☆Translation⊙
Confucius said: Forget it! I have never met anyone who can blame himself in his heart when he sees his own faults!
Duke Ai asked: Which disciple is eager to learn? Confucius said to the Japanese: Those who have good looks are eager to learn, do not express anger, and do not make mistakes. Unfortunately, he died in a short life, and now he is dead, and he has not heard of any good scholars. (See "The Analects of Confucius Yong Ye").
☆Translation⊙
Duke Ai of Lu asked Confucius: Which of your students loves learning? Confucius replied: There was a Yan Hui who loved learning. He never expressed his anger to others and never made the same mistakes.
Unfortunately, he died short-lived, and now there is no such person anymore, and no one who loves learning is ever heard of again.
Zihua sent envoys to Qi, and Ranzi asked for millet for his mother. Confucius said: With the cauldron. Please benefit. Day: thin with it. Ran Zi and Su Wubing. Zi Day: Red is suitable for riding on a fat horse and wearing light fur. I have heard this: A gentleman is in a hurry and does not succeed in getting rich. (See "The Analects of Confucius - Yong Ye").
☆Translation⊙
Zihua was on an envoy to Qi State, and Ran You requested millet for his mother on his behalf.
Confucius said: Give him a cauldron. Ran You asked for more, and Confucius said: Give him another Yu. Ran You gave him five gifts. Confucius said: Gong Xichi went to Qi State, driving a fat horse in front of his chariot and wearing a light and warm leather robe. I have heard: A gentleman should help others when they need it, not the icing on the cake.
I originally wanted to kill him, but I gave him nine hundred grains and resigned. The Master said: No!
It’s like you are a neighbor! (See "The Analects of Confucius Yong Ye").
☆Translation⊙
Yuan wanted to be the general manager of Confucius' family. Confucius gave him nine hundred millets, but he refused to take it. Confucius said: Don't refuse. Share some with your folks!
Ran Qiuri: If you don’t speak the way of the Master, you are not strong enough. Confucius said: Those who are not strong enough will give up in the middle way. Today's female paintings.
(See "The Analects of Confucius Yong Ye").
☆Translation⊙
Ran Qiu said: It’s not that I don’t like your idea, it’s that I don’t have enough strength to implement it. Confucius said: If you really lack strength, you will be unable to walk halfway. Now you are stuck on your own.
The Master said to Zi Xia: A woman is a gentleman and a Confucian, but nothing is a villain!
(See "The Analects of Confucius Yong Ye").
☆Translation⊙
Confucius said to Zixia: You must be a Confucian like a gentleman, not a Confucian like a villain.
Ziyou was the Prime Minister of Wucheng. Confucius said: How can a woman win a man's ear? Day: There are those who destroy the Ming Dynasty in Tantai, and they can't help it. If it is not official business, they will end up in the Yan's room. (See "The Analects of Confucius Yong Ye").
☆Translation⊙
Ziyou served as the governor of Wucheng. Confucius said: Have you found talents there? Ziyou: There was a man named Tantai Mieming. He never stepped into the narrow streets when walking. He never came to my house unless it was official business.
Confucius said: Who can leave the house without leaving the house? Why is there such a thing?
(See "The Analects of Confucius Yong Ye").
☆Translation⊙
Confucius said: Who can come out of the house without going through the door?
Why doesn’t anyone walk on the right path in life? Famous aphorisms from Confucius_Quotations from Confucius
Famous aphorisms from Confucius_Quotations from Confucius_
Confucius said: If quality is superior to literature, then you will be wild; if literature is superior to quality, then history will be achieved. Be polite, then be a gentleman. (See "The Analects of Confucius Yong Ye").
☆Translation⊙
Confucius said: If simplicity exceeds literary talent, it will appear vulgar; if literary talent exceeds simplicity, it will appear vain. Only when literary talent and simplicity work together harmoniously can one become a gentleman.
Confucius said: Those who know are not as good as those who are good, and those who are good are not as good as those who are happy.
(See "The Analects of Confucius Yong Ye").
☆Translation⊙
Confucius said: (For anything beneficial) Those who understand it are not as good as those who love it, and those who love it are not as good as those who enjoy it. people.
Confucius said: A gentleman is knowledgeable in literature, and if he makes an appointment with etiquette, he can still be with you! (See "The Analects of Confucius Yong Ye").
☆Translation⊙
Confucius said: A gentleman studies literature extensively and restrains himself with etiquette, so that he will not deviate from the truth.
When Zi saw Nanzi, Zilu said nothing. Master's arrow: Those who deny it will be disgusted by heaven! God hates it! (See "The Analects of Confucius - Yong Ye").
☆Translation⊙
When Confucius met Nanzi, Zilu was unhappy. Confucius swore to God: If I do something wrong, please God abandon me! Please God forsake me!
Confucius said: To describe without writing, to believe in the past and to love the past, is to compare myself to my old Peng.
(See "Fu Shuer").
☆Translation⊙
Confucius said: I only elaborate on the previous culture but do not engage in creation. I believe in and love ancient culture. I privately compare myself with my old Peng.
Confucius said: I know things silently, I am not tired of learning, I am not tired of teaching others, what is that for me? (See "The Analects of Confucius").
☆Translation⊙
Confucius said: Silently keep (what you see and hear) in your heart, never be satisfied with learning, and never get tired of teaching others. What have I done? ?
Confucius said: I am worried if I don’t cultivate virtue, I don’t learn it, I can’t move after hearing the righteousness, I can’t change my bad deeds. (See "The Analects of Confucius").
☆Translation⊙
Confucius said: If moral character is not cultivated, knowledge is not emphasized, if one hears about moral principles, one cannot go there, if one has shortcomings and mistakes, one cannot correct them, this is my worry.
Confucius said: Aspire to the Tao, base yourself on virtue, rely on benevolence, and wander in art.
(See "The Analects of Confucius").
☆Translation⊙
Confucius said: Determine on Tao, base on virtue, turn to benevolence, and enjoy the six arts.
Confucius said: If I can restrain my laziness on my own, I may not have no teachings.
(See "The Analects of Confucius").
☆Translation⊙
Confucius said: As long as someone comes to ask for advice with a little gift, I will never fail to teach him.
Confucius said: If you are not angry, you will not be enlightened; if you are not angry, you will not be angry. If you take one corner and don't turn it back with three, it won't happen again. (See "The Analects of Confucius").
☆Translation⊙
Confucius said: When teaching students, I will not enlighten them until they think about a problem but cannot think clearly, or want to express but cannot express it. If you teach one of the four corners, he will not be able to infer the other triangles from it, so I will not teach him any more.
The Master said to Yan Yuan: "If you use it, you will do it; if you leave it, you will hide it. But I and you have this husband!" Zi Lu Ri: When Zi marches with his three armies, who will join them? Confucius said: If a violent tiger attacks the river and dies without any regrets, I will not agree with him. You must be afraid when things happen, and you are good at making plans. (See "The Analects of Confucius").
☆Translation⊙
Confucius said to Yan Yuan: If you use me, then work hard; if you don’t need me, just hide. Only you and I can do this! Zilu heard this and said: So, if you lead the three armies to fight, who will you turn to for trouble? Confucius said: I will not have trouble with a person who fights a tiger with bare hands, crosses the Yellow River with bare feet, and does not regret it even if he dies. I must find someone who knows how to be fearful and prudent in situations, who is good at planning and making decisions. The original text and translation of Confucius' quotations_Confucius' quotations
The original text and translation of Confucius' quotations_Confucius' quotations_
Zhixue
Confucius said: Three armies can seize the commander, but one man cannot. Seize ambition also.
(See "The Analects of Confucius").
☆Translation⊙
Confucius said: A country’s army can take away its commander; but a man cannot take away his will.
Confucius said: Isn’t it true that one should learn and practice from time to time? Wouldn’t it be great to have a friend who died only to come back? Isn't it a gentleman if a person doesn't know something but doesn't get upset?
(See "The Analects of Confucius").
☆Translation⊙
Confucius said: After learning it, wouldn’t it be nice to review it from time to time? Isn’t it great to have like-minded people come to study from afar?
If I don’t complain when others don’t understand my talents, wouldn’t I be considered a gentleman?
Confucius said: You can learn from others, but you cannot learn from them; you can learn from them, but you cannot establish them; you can learn from them, but you cannot establish them.
(See "The Analects of Confucius").
☆Translation⊙
Confucius said: Those who can study with him may not be able to pursue the truth with him; those who can pursue the truth with him may not be able to live with him. He follows firm principles together; people who can follow firm principles with him may not necessarily be able to adapt to changes with him.
Confucius said: Disciple, you should be filial to others, be a younger brother when you go out, be sincere and trustworthy, love others universally, and be kind to others. If you have enough energy to do it, study literature.
(See "The Analects of Confucius").
☆Translation⊙
Confucius said: When you are young, you should be filial to your parents in front of them; when you leave your room, you should respect your brothers; A kind person. After practicing in this way, if you still have some energy left, then study the literature again.
Confucius said: If a gentleman is not serious, he will not have authority; if he is learned, he will not be solid. The Lord is faithful. He who has no friends is not as good as himself. Don’t be afraid to correct it if it’s too late.
(See "The Analects of Confucius").
☆Translation⊙
Confucius said: For a gentleman, if he is not solemn, he has no majesty; even if he studies, what he learns will not be solid. Be close to people who have the two virtues of loyalty and trust, and do not make friends with people who are not as good as you. If you make a mistake, don't be afraid to correct it.
Confucius said: A gentleman has nothing to eat and nothing to live in, and he has nothing to ask for. He is sensitive to things and careful in his words.
(See "The Analects of Confucius").
If you go there and correct yourself, you can be said to be eager to learn.
Confucius said: Don’t worry about others but you don’t know yourself, but you don’t know others when you are worried.
(See "The Analects of Confucius").
☆Translation⊙
Confucius said: Don’t be afraid that others don’t understand you (talents and moral character), but be afraid that you don’t understand others (talent and moral character).
Confucius said: When I was fifteen, I was determined to learn; when I was thirty, I was established; when I was forty, I was not confused; when I was fifty, I knew the destiny; at sixty, my ears were obedient; at seventy, I followed my heart's desires without exceeding the rules. (See "The Analects of Confucius for Politics").
☆Translation⊙
Confucius said: I began to be interested in learning when I was 15 years old. By the age of 30, fully mature. By the age of 40, you will no longer be confused. At the age of 50, I understand my destiny. By the age of 60, I can understand and take everything I hear calmly. By the age of 70, you can do whatever you want without going beyond the rules.