Author: Insight · Book Holding Girl
Take care of yourself and behave in a moderate manner.
Liang Shiqiu once said:
"The joy of middle age is to understand life and yourself well enough to do what you can do."
People In middle age, after years of hardships, one has tasted the bitterness and sweetness of life.
I have a clearer understanding of life and a deeper understanding.
Gradually I came to understand that if I want to live a comfortable life, I have to learn to restrain myself: not too talkative, not too busy, and not sentimental.
01
The ancients said that disaster comes from the mouth, and too many words will lead to mistakes.
Talking too much can easily lead to disaster and cause unnecessary trouble for oneself.
After Zhu Yuanzhang became emperor, one day, a friend who had herded cattle with Zhu Yuanzhang asked to see him.
When this friend saw Zhu Yuanzhang, he danced with joy.
Immediately recalled the time when the two of them herded cattle for a rich family.
He also talked about the experience of stealing beans together:
“Once, we put the stolen beans in a clay pot and cooked them. Before they were cooked, everyone
As a result, the jars were broken, and you just grabbed the beans from the ground to eat. Unfortunately, a red grass root got stuck in your throat, and you almost lost your life..."
In front of hundreds of civil and military officials, this embarrassing incident was revealed.
Zhu Yuanzhang was angry, annoyed and embarrassed.
So he ordered everyone around him: "Where did you come from, lunatic? Come on, drag this nonsense person out and kill him!"
In this way, this talkative person Lost his life.
"An open mind is magnanimous, and an open mouth is a recipe for disaster."
Failure to control your mouth will only bring disaster to yourself in the end.
As a human being, if you don't talk too much, you will have less trouble. If you don't talk too much, you can live your life with peace of mind.
Wang Yangming once met a deaf-mute man. Because this deaf-mute man could not speak right and wrong with his mouth and could not hear right and wrong with his ears, he had fewer troubles in his life and lived a very comfortable and happy life.
Wang Yangming was deeply inspired by this and wrote six sentences: "Too much talk leads to more troubles. Morality is in practice, not in words. It takes more than one sentence to talk about people's right and wrong." to warn himself not to speak. If you are a bad person, talk less and cultivate your mind.
"Proverbs Lian Bi" says: "Sit quietly and think about your own mistakes, and don't talk about others' faults in small talk."
After middle age, keep your mouth shut, don't talk about others' shortcomings, and don't speak. Living well is a high-level cultivation and a wise way of dealing with the world.
02
"Disciple Rules" says: "Don't meddle in matters that have nothing to do with yourself."
Don't interfere casually in matters that have nothing to do with you. A person’s basic cultivation.
There are always some people in life who like to meddle in other people's private affairs for no reason, thinking that they are helping others, but in the end they are not welcomed by others, and they feel aggrieved, thinking that their good intentions are being treated as nothing. .
As everyone knows, if you don’t treat yourself as an outsider and meddle in other people’s affairs, it will not only be difficult to gain recognition from others, but it will also easily lead to anger.
There is a story about Su Dongpo recorded in Kun Opera "The Lion's Roar".
Once, Su Dongpo and his friend Chen Jichang took prostitutes on a spring outing.
When Jichang's wife, Mrs. Liu, found out, she punished Jichang by kneeling by the lotus pond.
Su Dongpo couldn't see it, and told Liu Shixiao to be a woman, saying that she had nothing to gain and that she should let her husband take a concubine, which would be a good thing.
After hearing this, Mrs. Liu became very angry and chased Su Shi with a stick, scaring him so much that he ran away in confusion.
Don’t interfere casually in other people’s affairs, especially family matters, if they have nothing to do with you.
After all, everyone has their own way of doing things. What you think is good for others may not be good for others.
I read a paragraph about "Journey to the West":
Tang Seng is very careful and always likes to take care of his disciples.
One day, he found a hole in Sun Wukong's pants, so he quietly sewed the hole shut.
But when he looked the next day, he found that the hole that had been sewn had opened again, so he sewed it up again.
It was still the same on the third day, so he sewed it again.
Although he was careful and considerate, Sun Wukong got angry and said impatiently:
"Master, can you please stop meddling in other people's business? Just sew the hole for me and call him Where to put my tail?"
"The Shadow Stealer" said: "You cannot interfere in other people's lives, even if it is for the other person's benefit.
”
Blindly meddling in trivial matters that have nothing to do with you not only wastes your energy, but in many cases it is easy to end up in a situation where “good intentions are not rewarded”.
When people reach middle age, Keeping a good balance when dealing with others and not meddling in other people's business is a way of showing respect to others and giving yourself peace of mind.
03
Writer Zhang Meng said:
< p> “The most terrifying idea a person has is to be friends with everyone. This is unrealistic and unnecessary. ”In this life, people will get to know all kinds of people, but there is no need to give your sincerity to everyone.
Because many times you think that if you are good to others, others will be the same. I'm nice to you, but I don't actually care that much.
In "Wulin Gaiden", Zhu Wushuang treats everyone in the "Tongfu Inn" with all his heart. .
Not only is she always rushing to do the dirty work for everyone, but she also always takes care of everyone's emotions and feelings in every detail.
If someone has a stiff neck, she will immediately help. They make buckwheat pillows;
When someone breaks up, even if she is in a mess, she still stands up and patiently comforts her
But all the enthusiasm and sincerity she has given her have not been rewarded. She was treated with the same degree of gentleness, but she was treated as a little transparent.
Once, she competed with Xiao Guo, and the loser had to leave the inn.
***In the four rounds, she had already won three rounds and was the sure winner.
But when it came time to vote, the other judges in the inn all turned towards Xiao Guo. .
No one cares about the fact that she has nowhere to go if she loses.
Not all good intentions in this world will be appreciated, and not all sincerity can be exchanged. True love.
As a saying goes:
"If you are affectionate, others may not be righteous; if you are wholehearted, others may not be wholehearted." If you give a sincere heart, you may not have good results. ”
When interacting with people, you don’t have to be nice to everyone.
Learning to treat them differently is the best social principle.
Actor Liu Tao is making a career in the entertainment industry Over the past twenty years, she has known countless people.
But she admits that she only has two best friends.
This is not because she is not popular; It seems that my energy is limited and there is no need to invite too many people into my life.
It is enough to keep only a few close friends and treat them wholeheartedly.
You need to be selective in your enthusiasm. , there must be a threshold for giving, so that there will be less disappointment and hurt.
When you reach middle age, don’t try to be good to everyone, and don’t be enthusiastic about everyone.
It is wise to spend your precious time and energy on people who are truly worthy.
I read a sentence:
"People come to the center." In this year, what restrains oneself is no longer the laws of the outside world, but the rules of the heart. ”
After middle age, take care of yourself and behave in a moderate manner.
Don’t say things you shouldn’t say, don’t do things you shouldn’t do, and don’t make friends with people you don’t need to make friends with.
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Only in the second half of life can we live peacefully, freely, comfortably and contentedly.