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Classic quotations of network satire
10 years old happiness is steaming and eating fresh; 20-year-old happiness is stir-fried, eating is fierce; 30-year-old happiness is already braised in soy sauce, eating aftertaste. As for the future, it is the Buddha jumping off the wall in Micari, with mixed feelings and lasting time. Haha irony, here are the classic quotations of network irony, I hope it will help everyone.

It is said that every person in China touches his mobile phone 150 times a day on average. I smiled: How is this possible? Obviously just once, pick it up when you wake up and put it down before going to bed. -the netizen said.

1. You are very ill. 2. But it can be cured. But it needs a lot of money. The doctor's three sentences can make you feel the ups and downs of life.

If a man has private money, he can hide it in the stock market to make sure that no one will find it, because you don't even know where the money has gone. -big hidden in the city, the stock market.

What do you mean by grabbing a red envelope? Just like the old society, the rich man stood in front of his house and grabbed a copper coin and threw it out. A group of beggars robbed the ground, and the rich man laughed. -Don't spend all your good fortune on it.

After studying right and wrong for more than 20 years, I found that reality only talks about winning or losing. Everything has colors, not just black and white.

No jealousy, no pandering, no conversation, no embarrassment. -the best state for two people to get along.

Once morality is falsified, other frauds cannot be stopped. -Yi Zhongtian believes that China's hope lies in eight words: keep the bottom line and don't sing high-profile.

Self-portrait 3 thousand, only one. -Self-cultivation of taking photos in friends circle

There are so many dutiful sons online, but it's a pity that your mother doesn't go online. -Netizens satirized that "children in the circle of friends are the most filial"

My Alipay is not worthy of your shopping cart. -there is an emotional sadness.

Many times these three items are enough to give children the best education: 1. Lead by example; 2. Patience; Wait. It is not difficult to be a good parent.

My mother made me furious. I don't like taking pictures, but she forced me to go, take pictures of me, and then send friends. -10-year-old girls keep diaries on Children's Day.

A man crossed the street and fell in love. A car crossed the street and hit it. This is called a car accident. Unfortunately, cars always collide and people always have to make way. -lines in the movie "Tuina"

Mediterranean plait, moustache, wooden frame glasses, linen shirt, wide-leg pants with beads, holding a set of fake Ruyao tea set and drinking Jason Chung, talking about nan huaijin and Jiang Xun-the characteristics of pan-China civilization.

All the anger on the internet is basically due to lack of money; The basic goal of all online inspiration is to make money; All the happiness on the internet is basically rich people. -The current situation of the Internet

One third of the buildings in China have thresholds; Even crossing the street in the back alley may mean a test of life and death. ElBaradei is an Englishman and a disabled person who has been in a wheelchair for more than 30 years, but this has not restrained his actions. A few years ago, he started his own trip around the world. He traveled all over the world successfully until he came to China.

Hold your breath, turn your face, bend over and look up. -Yi Zhongtian comments on Sun Quan.

Every time I bargain, as long as I can cut it down, I feel cheated. -Bargaining mentality

Comparing wages with wages is a shortcut to finding unhappiness. Don't ask others how much they earn.

Women are like stocks. Stocks that were originally optimistic will continue to fall after buying, and weaknesses and shortcomings that were not seen before will be exposed. Once thrown out, it becomes so cute in other people's hands. -Men judge women

I buy stocks not to make money, but because it takes brains to analyze stocks, so it is not easy to get Alzheimer's disease. -Hangzhou 97-year-old man escaped the plunge in stock trading and was banned by the stock god, claiming that stock trading was to prevent Alzheimer's disease.

High emotional intelligence, mainly to make others happy; High IQ is mainly to make yourself happy; IQ is not high, and EQ is not high. The main reason is that if you are unhappy, you will not make others happy. -IQ and EQ

People dressed up appear in decent places, and when they see the same kind, they are also seen. This is socializing. -Zhang Ailing

In China, it is difficult to find a qualified restaurant waiter, part-time worker, nanny and so on. China people will not be patient, willing or attentive unless they serve their leaders, such as waiters in the Great Hall of the People. -Wang Fuzhong, a professor at the Central University of Finance and Economics, talks about the service industry

Chatting with friends, I was deeply impressed by one sentence: "In an immature market, the government has done institutional things to protect the index; Institutions have done retail business, chasing up and down; Retail investors have done institutional things and taken over the country. " -Ye Tan