Although Leah Dou and his sister Li Yan are half-brothers, they have a good relationship. This time, they came to support their sister's new album.
As the saying goes, what kind of mother raises what kind of children, Faye Wong, who has always been independent, is commensurate with her eldest daughter Leah Dou and her second daughter Li Yan as sisters, and the mother-daughter relationship is like friends.
In children's interests and daily life, Faye Wong didn't restrict her two daughters too much. She has been quietly paving the way for her daughter, which made Leah Dou develop a free and easy character, and now she has her own small achievements in music.
On the road to marriage, not everyone is smooth sailing. Many times, mothers get along with their children because of their emotional problems. The mother's personality greatly affects the child's personality. What kind of mother you are, what kind of children you will bring up.
The following extreme mothers often appear around us, which really makes children love and fear!
Control mom
It's easy to raise an escapist child.
Mom's performance:
Out of the instinct of caring for children, or fear of being abandoned because it is difficult to control their own lives, and excessive attachment to children, some mothers are eager to completely control their children's behavior and can't bear to be separated from them for a moment.
Children's mentality:
This situation is particularly easy to happen to children in the distance. They are not afraid of closeness, but they always keep their distance from others carefully; They allow their mothers to hug, but at the same time they always turn their faces away from their mothers. Because they are afraid that being too close will make them unable to escape from their mother's control.
Growing pains:
It is easy to form an avoidant personality after being away from children and adults. They subconsciously avoid family life by various methods: they are busy with work for a long time, prefer jobs that travel frequently, or always bury themselves in reading, reading newspapers and watching TV. They need their own space, and they like the relationship of coming and going freely.
Instructor EQ:
Everyone should have their own life. Your "cohabitation" with the children is only temporary. Treating your child as your "little lover" will only make you and your child feel an invisible bondage.
Ruthless mother
It is easy to develop a withdrawn child.
Mom's performance:
Some mothers are emotionally indifferent because they have accumulated a mountain of problems with their lovers. Maybe she didn't want children in the first place, or maybe she subconsciously regarded children as the source of her misfortune. This kind of mother seldom holds her child and is very strict with her child. Some cold mothers lack good emotional channels, are lonely and depressed, and are indifferent to their children.
Children's mentality:
Children who grow up in this environment can easily be shaped into withdrawn children. Lonely children are often afraid of intimate contact, because the desire to attach to their mothers is often frustrated, so they think: I don't need it. Lonely children may hide an unreal self in their hearts, seemingly independent, but in fact they deny their own needs.
Growing pains:
Lonely children are usually indifferent or even indifferent, lacking enthusiasm and pursuit of life. They are usually successful, lack material needs, independent and patient. However, their married life is usually full of twists and turns. Most of them are withdrawn.
Instructor EQ:
Children need love and touch very much. In foreign countries, touching and hugging are even important means to treat children's autism. It is unreasonable that he deliberately isolated the child and did not have physical contact with him to comfort him.
A mother with changeable contradictions
Children who are prone to attachment.
Mom's performance:
This type of mother is busy at work. The attachment needs of children can sometimes be met, but sometimes they are forced to "give up love" helplessly; In addition, stressed mothers are hard to be emotionally stable, sometimes they can't help being cold and irritable, and sometimes they take care of their children.
Children's mentality:
Such an environment is difficult to help children establish a stable sense of security. Subconsciously, he thinks that only by crying constantly can he get the love and attention he needs. He often feels happy, satisfied, angry and sad alternately, and involuntarily forms contradictory feelings of love and hate for his mother.
Growing pains:
Once these children become adults, their attachment tendency will be obvious: the demand for intimate contact seems endless, and they often ask each other to pay attention to themselves all the time, and it is difficult to tolerate the slightest neglect and cold reception. They habitually use anger, noise and threats to force the opposite sex to care about themselves and meet their psychological needs. Strong insecurity makes them jealous and suspicious, and they can't really trust each other.
Instructor EQ:
In daily life, deliberately avoid this contradictory and unstable emotion and emotional expression, give affirmation in words and actions, and let him know that he always has her love no matter how busy his mother is.
Neglect mother
It is easy to develop a child with aspirations.
Mom's performance:
Some mothers show impatience because they are busy, perhaps because of their personality. They always want to get rid of the burden of educating their children as soon as possible, so they encourage and even force their children to start exploration and independence too early.
Children's mentality:
When children try to explore the world independently, if they don't get emotional support from their parents, it is easy to cause children's fear of independence. They know how to win their mother's attention by pleasing her, being a good boy or finding various excuses. They lack the necessary sense of security, are afraid to leave their mother, and need to constantly and repeatedly confirm whether someone cares about them.
Growing pains:
Such children usually show a pursuit-oriented personality in adulthood. They are afraid of being abandoned. In order to keep close relationship with others, they always try their best to please each other and do their best to become "good wives and mothers" or "five good husbands". But this relationship may make the other person feel suffocated, often feel thankless, secretly sad, and sigh "living too tired."
Instructor EQ:
In addition to teaching, children still have to "raise". To help children build positive self-confidence, mothers need enough patience and time. There seems to be no shortcut.
A question tests what kind of mother you are.
One day, you take your children home to buy food. There is a kitten lazily basking in the sun by the roadside. The curious child looked over and couldn't help saying to you, "Mom, this cat is so cute!" " "
If this happens, what will you tell your child?
A. "yes, mom saw it. So cute! "
B. "Have you finished your homework?"
C. "Someone died of rabies after being caught by a cat."
D. Without saying anything, he took the child away directly.
A. A grateful mother
The mother and the children praised the kitten as "cute" and recognized the children's emotions. The atmosphere is very pleasant. The mother appreciates her children and is willing to talk about these childish topics with them. The mother and son have a harmonious relationship and smooth communication. This kind of children's personality is generally healthy, because they are happy and frank under the aura of maternal love.
B. homework, mom
Mom's answer implies that you still have leisure to care about the cat before you finish your homework. Hearing this answer, the child will be very depressed, because the feelings are not recognized and communicated, and the good mood disappears at once. If children often get similar irrelevant reactions from their mothers, when they grow up, they will feel that it is a stupid thing to communicate with others. They are often indifferent, don't like to communicate, and like to bury things in their hearts.
C. Threatening the mother
This is a typical "cold water" mom. For example, the child told her that the cake was delicious, and the mother said that some people had diabetes after eating the cake. When the child praised her for her beauty, her mother said that there was nothing beautiful at her age; Others say that children are smart, but mothers say that children are idiots in life except studying ... Gradually, children will get angry because their emotions are ignored and distorted, and the atmosphere at home is suppressed by their mothers. Children will suffer, resist and eventually run away.
D. Cold and violent mothers
This is the mother's cold violence against the child. Even adults, being so indifferent, will be very lost in their hearts. Mothers often don't answer and ignore their children, which will silence them. If they are ignored for a long time, their personalities will become sensitive and easy to give up, and they may have a tendency to abuse themselves in adulthood.
WeChat official account Juanzi mother tells stories.