After writing about cold reading's introductory skills, readers asked me many very sharp questions. Before starting the actual combat drill for cold reading today, I'd like to clarify some readers' misunderstanding of cold reading.

(1) Does cold reading's cold reading mean killing each other with his eyes?

For the specific definition of cold reading, please refer to Yuji Ishii's cold reading. Many scholars in China have written books about cold reading, but different people have different understandings. My personal understanding is that.

"cold" means that the relationship is still relatively cold, and "reading" means getting to know each other. The so-called cold reading means expressing understanding to each other with actions and words when the relationship is still very cold.

(2) cold reading caters to others, saying what others like to hear

In this world, the best way to completely destroy an intimate relationship is to give up yourself and concentrate on catering to others. In fact, secretaries, assistants and graduate students in many units are making this mistake. Because the intimate relationship between two people is an emotional exchange, if you abandon yourself and only one person is interacting in this relationship, then this relationship will naturally die.

cold reading wants to go into other people's hearts first, and at the beginning of communication, give others the feeling that you know him well, so that he can open his heart, thus narrowing the interpersonal distance. You need to turn your eyes away from yourself to pay attention to each other and inject emotional energy into others. Flattery is to eliminate self-energy and concentrate on accepting others' energy.

cold reading and flattery are totally different. The former is positive energy (giving others energy) and the latter is negative energy (consuming others energy).

(3) cold reading's sentences are too written, and they feel elegant.

This is a big misunderstanding. The examples used in my article are not exactly the same as the dialogues in life. For the convenience of expression, I use written language in my article. In life, you need to understand the meaning of my example sentences and then use your own words to express it in spoken language. Of course, if it is WeChat communication, it is still written.

For example, "You are awesome", in Kunming words, "How can you be so awesome!" . Friends from different places can organize their languages according to their own language preferences.

Don't copy books when learning any language skills. A person's taste shows his speech and knowledge to a great extent. At this point, you have to cultivate your own style completely, and the main reason is that otaku and otaku are LOW to a great extent.

(4) In life, can't we go straight? Why use speech skills?

when a person experiences vicissitudes, he will gradually learn to shift his eyes from the thing itself to the person behind it. The occurrence of things is only a representation, and the essence is the exchange of human desires. People with high emotional intelligence know how to use language and other skills to make everything more acceptable.

some people say: there is no need for strong integration because of different circles. Indeed, I also want to live in this world to make myself feel better. But every time I meet my parents who have had a hard life, I think I'd better master some skills and blend into some difficult circles to earn some resources. With skills, many circles are not as uncomfortable as before.

2

A simple friend shared his process of using cold reading in the comments of the last article. In order to be close to everyone, I decided to use this example

He said to a girl, "To others, you are a lively and lovely girl, but I have a vague feeling that you have an unknown sadness. Can you tell me about it?"

There is no doubt that he used routine topics and used the original sentence of lover very creatively.

The girl replied, "How do you know that I am lovelorn?"

Although this Jane friend's temperature is insufficient, the girl's answer undoubtedly shows the effectiveness of cold reading-the girl thinks you know her. It's a pity that this Jane friend is not a lover after all. It's such a good start, but she didn't grasp the follow-up chat.

It seems that he is at a loss because of the girl's answer.

I told him that you went back and forth: "A kind girl like you who always thinks of others is often vulnerable!"

in this sentence, I used the * * * emotion technology (as mentioned in the previous article). If you temporarily remove your position and imagine that you are this girl, you will understand that since this girl is lovelorn and unwilling to tell others, it means that she must have been hurt. She probably cried with her legs in the corner many times. How pitiful. This is a passive girl, you need to give her some support.

After listening to my answer, Jianyou answered me: Now he knows why he has been focusing on the spare tire for 3 years.

I am really speechless and funny. This young man, no, is older than me at the age of thirty.

eldest brother, please put down some important things at hand and concentrate on learning interpersonal interaction! Otherwise, it is likely to be lonely. Otherwise, after your parents who care for you unconditionally leave you, you will be alone in this world. But I also understand you. I was also an introverted and quiet teenager for a long time. I have also experienced a lot of pain in making today's changes.

Jane friend also misunderstood that the answer I taught him was actually from the standpoint of a close friend. If this Jane friend wants to develop a closer relationship with the girl, use the following answer.

"How did you know that I was lovelorn?"

Answer: "It doesn't matter how I know, you just lost a man with no vision. Have you seen the latest McDonald's advertisement? We can also be like the McDonald's advertisement. If you can't get married at the age of 3, I will marry you! "

The answer above uses cold reading's technique-the cup technique. When you really can't judge the interpersonal distance between you and the other person, but want to get close to the other person, you need to use the cup technique. For example, when eating, you move your cup close to each other. If the other person doesn't move the cup, it means that your psychological distance has become less.

Middle school boys often stack arhats in the classroom or one sits on the other's lap, which is a sign of good relations. If a boy wants to develop another boy into a best friend, he often puts his arm around the other guy first to see if he accepts it.

"Imitating McDonald's advertisements" makes the words "I marry you" less direct or awkward. Like a cup close to each other, you can attack and retreat. No matter how the girl answers, this sentence can comfort her and bring you closer to each other.

Of course, if it is unsuccessful to induce the other party to produce "* * *" at one time, you can settle for the second best and then attack again, for example.

"To others, you are a lively and lovely girl, but I have a vague feeling that you have an unknown sadness. Can you tell me something?"

"No, I've never been sad, I've always been happy!" " (denied by the other party)

"Really? You are really a lucky star. However, people like you, sometimes a trivial matter will suddenly abuse you black and blue! " (cold reading for the second time)

3

Of course, I don't like people to simply use cold reading for love. In fact, it has a wide range of uses, and love relationship is just one of many intimate relationships.

The blockade denial technique in cold reading is very useful in the workplace.

For example, you say to your boss, "Boss, I want a raise!"

The probability that this proposal is rejected by the boss is almost 1%.

what should I do? Even if your boss is a miser, he is still a human being. You should induce the boss to say "yes". When the probability of "yes" appearing in the brain is more, there will be an inertia to prevent "no" from appearing.

"Boss, do you think many employees in the company are a little lazy?" (The first induction said yes. Almost all companies have this problem, and the probability of the boss saying no is very small! )

"Yes, I think so occasionally." (The boss's other contents are omitted here)

"If I make a good suggestion, I have made careful consideration. Would you like to listen to it to help solve this problem? " (The second inducement is nothing more than listening, and the boss will not refuse too much. )

in the process of describing this plan, mention more companies and actually ask the boss to nod, and finally ask the boss.

"Boss, I've been in the company for so long. What kind of person do you think I am?"

"You are an enterprising young man, and the company needs you!" Whether the boss really likes you or not, the probability that the boss will speak ill of you to your face is very low. )

"Well, boss, I've been in a bit of a dilemma in my life recently. If you can, consider giving me a little salary. "

Before, I used many seemingly nonsense questions to guide my boss to say "yes", and then I threw out my main question. The boss is also a battle-hardened man, and he will immediately realize that this is your focus. At this time, he will probably say that he thinks about it, but after the whole process, the probability of the boss agreeing will be greatly improved. Even if the boss still rejects it in the end, you have improved your interpersonal interaction with the boss and taken a step towards a raise.

however, most of us are not afraid to use interpersonal communication skills, but dare not. We have long been used to living in our own world, afraid to communicate with the boss.

People are emotional creatures, and emotional support is much more useful than material support at any time. Use more emotional skills to be a positive energy person in the circle of friends. As the saying goes, things are rare, and today, when there are so many sorrows, a friend who can bring positive energy to others will certainly be able to go all the way in the workplace and love.

Finish

(Like the simple friends in the article, simple friends can write their experiences and questions about using cold reading in the comments, and I will answer the following articles! )