I asked Tony about vocational skills that day.
Tony: "ACC really doesn't know what's going on, fooling around and knowing nothing." When and who do you want to meet? What do you do? how much is it? This is the minimum, but ACC made a mess, no requirements, no loopholes, and I feel good about myself! Hey ~ "
Me: "There is no perfect organization, only imperfections have opportunities, and they will be given to those who find opportunities."
Tony: "I told you the competency matrix, and you told me that there is no perfect organization." . . . No wonder a bunch of gangsters. "
Me: "You said a lot of bad ACC." Why can't anyone point out that ACC is not good? This is not good. Why do I think it's a judgment? If this is not good, is it true?
Tony: "I said I didn't have the ability matrix. I didn't mess up other people's requirements. I still feel good about myself." Is there a problem? " what did i say? ACC, are you happy? Hey! In any case, China people just don't want to take the lead in facing this problem.
I think this is a common problem for everyone. I'm glad to hear the news. Why not shut up all the people who make comments? . . "
This is an unpleasant conversation for both sides. Tony, as the initiator of the topic, is not interested in continuing the topic, because my reaction didn't even achieve the minimum, let alone * * *. What's worse, he threw out an irrelevant answer that even conflicted with his topic. What am I doing? Isn't this completely ignoring the feelings of confidante? Is this really the result I want? I don't want to silence the person who made the suggestion.
I suddenly remembered the conversation with my daughter, as if something similar had happened. No wonder my daughter is even more angry after listening to my words.
On that occasion, my daughter pretended to be my signature and gave up the class autumn outing, so we had an unpleasant conversation.
Me: "Are you ready for the autumn outing the day after tomorrow?" I have learned from the class teacher that she used my signature fraudulently, so I deliberately tested her.
Daughter: "I'm not going, I can't play with my leg pain." My daughter has a little temper and a strong tone. Maybe she's worried that our conversation will expose her fake signature.
Me: "Ah? How can it still hurt? How many days? " I don't care about my daughter's feelings, including her mood at the moment, but judge according to my own experience and give an answer that is contrary to her current feelings.
Daughter: "You are not me, I just hurt." I was speechless for a moment.
I see, I want to get rid of gangsters, and I should pay attention to * * * in my future contacts! * * * Love! * * * Love!
First, listen patiently to the inspiring stories that have not been finished or heard, and don't interrupt or interrupt.
Listen attentively to the other person's expression and jump into his/her perspective, imagine that I am him/her at the moment, understand him/her and feel him/her.
Third, refrain from judging yourself, because most of the judgments just make me feel refreshed, but they are unnecessary and worthless.
Fourth, practice listening for a month and then improve it.
Xu Yongping
20 19/ 1/7 Shanghai
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