Xu Jingde of Sichuan Pengshan Qinglong Junior High School
Silver
Many students always complain that it is difficult to innovate exam compositions. If there is something wrong with the exam composition, just find suitable materials. What's new? Actually, this is an illusion. The main reason is that students failed to stimulate their thinking and mobilize their life accumulation, so they failed to find good materials and good composition forms. What if you stimulate your mind well?
Not long ago, our school made a composition on the topic of "birthday", with special emphasis on stimulating students' thinking. Mobilize your life accumulation, choose the most memorable birthday to write, the most meaningful birthday to write, the most emotional birthday to write, the most experienced birthday to write, the most different birthday to write ... write your own birthday, you can also write other people's birthdays, even the birthdays of animals, plants and things; You can write past birthdays, present birthdays and future birthdays; It is more attractive to write that a special person had a special birthday in a special place at a special time for a special reason. It is more interesting to write about the birthdays of animals, plants and things ... You can also express your birthday sighs, explain how to celebrate birthdays, and introduce the special customs of people's birthdays in a certain place ... Even, you can arrange your usual excitement and feelings for birthdays ... mobilize your own knowledge accumulation, write narratives, essays, argumentations, discussions, diaries, letters and so on.
Thinking is stimulated, and students can not only write, but also write many good compositions.
Example 1
birthday
Qi Zhang
Today is the birthday of neighbor Tintin. Aunt Zhang specially spent 300 yuan to order a chocolate birthday cake for his birthday.
In the morning, I was awakened by a cry and looked out of the window. It turned out that Tintin was crying at the nanny Ako, shouting "No, no!" And threw brand-new clothes on the ground. Just then, Aunt Zhang came in and scolded Ah Ke, saying, "Why are you doing this? Don't take good care of the children, but also make him cry ... "
Aunt Zhang invited us to her home for dinner. Mom said I would go later, but I went to play early.
Around ten o'clock, guests came one after another. The first one was a white Mercedes. Tintin's uncle got out of the car, went over and put a super changeable King Kong in Tintin's hand. He also took out a big red envelope and said, "Ding Ding, uncle, happy birthday to you. This thousand dollars is used to buy candy. " Tintin took the red envelope, stuffed it into his trousers bag and left casually. When my uncle saw this, he smiled and said, "Look, our Ding Ding looks like a proud prince!" "
While speaking, firecrackers sounded and Tintin's second aunt arrived. As soon as the second aunt came in, she said, "Ding Ding, look what I brought you!" As he spoke, he took out his things and put them on the table: "This is Want Want Gift Package, this is Life One, this is Italian leather shoes, and this is an American suit ..." As he spoke, he took the suit and said, "Come on, Tintin, show it to my second aunt." Tintin ignored his second aunt's words and went straight to the table, dragging up the "Want Want Gift Package" and tearing it up. "With a sound, it was torn open and two small packets of" Want Want Snow Cake "fell to the ground. When Tintin saw it, he stepped on his foot and kicked it with his foot ... Second Aunt smiled and said, "Look, Tintin has the boss demeanor ..."
It's almost time for lunch. Ding Ding's grandfather said, "CCTV has tracked the' 9.11incident' in the United States. Turn on the TV and watch it! " When Tintin heard this, he ran to grab the remote control and said, "No, I want to watch cartoons." As he spoke, he picked up the remote control and pressed it. As a result, there is no cartoon station. Grandpa said, "Ding Ding, it's time for grandpa to watch the news!" " Unexpectedly, Tintin said, "I can't see it, and neither can everyone." Then he turned off the TV, picked up the remote control, ran into his room and slammed the door.
Seeing Ding Ding close the door, Ding Ding's grandfather smiled and went up and turned on the TV with his hand. As soon as he was transferred to CCTV, Ding Ding rushed out and shouted: "I can't watch it anymore, and you are not allowed to watch it!" Turn off the TV at once, turn around and turn your back on the switch.
I was surprised at Tintin's rudeness and arrogance, but I heard a voice: "Look, how brave our Tintin is, and how' one person guards, ten thousand people are not allowed'!" I turned to look at the speaker. I don't know this guest.
Dial one
This exercise is about a luxurious birthday. However, we feel very heavy after reading it, because we are worried about Tintin's growth and future. People only care about icing on the cake for Tintin materially, but forget to give him a gift in spirit. Is this love or hurt? The sharp contrast and profound theme make this exercise enter the ranks of excellent compositions.
Example 2
birthday
Zeng yangang
Today is my birthday. In the morning, the air is particularly fresh. I get up and clean my house. Mom and dad are out to do farm work, so I cook my own lunch.
I went to the field to get some side dishes, picked them and washed them. When I was cooking, I cooked an egg for myself.
The meal is ready, and my parents haven't come home yet. I locked the door and went to the field to call my parents.
After my parents came back, our family ate happily around the table.
At dinner, my parents talked about me on my birthday. And told me to shell the egg, and then throw it out of the window with my backhand. I know this is the custom of "molting" in rural areas. If you throw the eggshell outside the wall with your backhand, you can get rid of the bad luck for a year. Well, of course I won't believe it. But I couldn't refuse my parents' affection, so I did as my parents said.
My birthday passed like this, and it looked very pale. But it is full of warmth and happiness in lightness. I used to spend almost all my birthdays like this. No birthday cake, no delicious food like fish. I didn't have a birthday, and it was raining and lively. However, I am also very satisfied. As long as my parents are around, I feel very happy even if I have a normal side dish meal.
I think, no matter whether I am rich or poor in the future, I hope to have a dull but meaningful birthday. Maybe it's because my family is a poor but warm one! I hope I can spend all my birthdays with my parents.
Dial two
Zeng Yangang's classmate's birthday, there is no birthday cake, no delicious food such as fish and meat, just a few side dishes and an egg in his own field. However, we saw it, but there was nothing sad and sad. Why is this? It's because my birthday includes "My parents told me something about me on my birthday", the wish of "Tell me to shell the egg and throw it out of the window with my backhand" and the affection of "I hope I can spend my birthday with my parents in the future". In writing, speaking frankly and naturally and telling people the most touching details are the greatest advantages.
Example 3
birthday
Chen Yu
It kept raining, and Xiaomei in the room looked at the bleak rain outside the window and shed sad tears.
Today is Xiaomei's twelfth birthday. For four years, Xiaomei has been waiting for her mother at the window every year today. Xiaomei lost her father at the age of eight, and her mother remarried to a distant place and sent her to her grandmother's house to be raised by her uncle. Since my mother remarried, I haven't sent money back, and my uncle's attitude towards her is getting worse and worse. At my uncle's house, Xiaomei has to wash clothes and take care of the children. When the child cries, my uncle will abuse Xiaomei. Under such circumstances, do you still expect a birthday? Xiaomei spent four years like this. She never shed a tear and never complained about anyone.
Today is Xiaomei's twelfth birthday. She hopes her mother can come to celebrate her birthday. She expects her mother to come to see her, hug her and kiss her.
Suddenly, someone knocked at the door outside. Xiaomei ran to open the door. She is very happy. The person in front of her is her mother who misses her very much! She threw herself on her mother and cried coquetry, "mom, mom!" " "Mom is also very happy. She bought Xiaomei many new clothes, many school supplies and many delicious things. Xiaomei showed a long-lost smile.
After dinner, mother told her to pack up and take her away. How happy Xiaomei is. The days of being persona non grata can finally end. There were not many things, so she packed them in a minute. She went to her mother happily. In the living room, my mother is talking to my grandmother mysteriously. Xiaomei stopped to listen curiously. Xiaomei was very surprised when she heard this. Mother told grandma that Xiaomei should be given to a childless family in Chengdu.
Xiaomei was so scared that she hid in the room and locked herself in. Xiaomei's heart is broken. She can stand her uncle's ruthlessness, but she can't stand her mother's cruelty. "Only mother is good in the world." She has such a high position in Xiaomei's heart, but her mother …
After a while, my mother called Xiaomei. No matter how her mother cries outside, Xiaomei won't open the door. ...
My uncle knocked down the door.
Mother pulled Xiaomei into the car. ...
The rain is still falling. Just like Xiaomei's heart, it keeps dripping big drops of blood.
Dial four
This exercise tells the story of Xiaomei's emotional experience of "pain" ... happiness ... more pain ".On her birthday, she expressed her deep concern and sympathy for Xiaomei's unfortunate experience with twists and turns and sharp contrast. The rain at the beginning and end is also well written. Not only the rain, but also Xiaomei's tears. Is it just Xiaomei's tears?
Example 5
birthday
Yang
I came to the grave of my second aunt.
"Aunt, today is your birthday, and your birthday is coming out to see you." I put my own "birthday cake" in front of my second aunt's grave. "Although it's just a paper cake, it's the same as what you bought for my birthday two years ago. Aunt, did you see it? Your day came out to see you. "
Two years ago, on my birthday, I was watching a football match when I suddenly heard my second aunt calling me. I ran over and saw that she had brought a big cake and bought a football. I was so happy. Taking the football is a kick. When the ball hits the orange tree, the orange will shake down better. My second aunt smiled and said, "I am thirteen years old and still so naughty." I picked up the ball and said, "What if I'm thirteen or thirty? I will always be a child in front of my second aunt, and I want to be a child who will never grow up. " After a pause, I said, "If only I were this big forever!" " You ask, "Why?" I said, "When I grow up, my second aunt is old. I don't want my second aunt to get old. I won't let my second aunt get old! " At that time, my second aunt smiled happily: "silly child, people are always old!" " Inadvertently, I saw the white hair between my second aunt's temples. When eating the cake, I gave the biggest piece of cream to my second aunt. But the second aunt said, "You eat, you eat, and the second aunt bought it specially for Sunrise." I took a big bite with joy. My second aunt didn't eat, just looked at me with a smile. I felt so happy at that time.
But how do I know this is my second aunt's last birthday with me Two months later, my second aunt was seriously ill. She didn't inform me for fear of delaying my study. In this way, I even lost the chance to see my second aunt for the last time.
Second aunt, you love me so much! Aunt, the sunrise will cherish your love.
Aunt, today is your birthday. Let me sing "Happy Birthday" for you! You taught me to sing! "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you ..." Singing, singing, even I can't tell whether I am singing or crying. ...
Dial five
It is a unique way to practice narrating that "I" came to my second aunt's grave to celebrate her birthday. The novelty of material selection laid the foundation for the success of the composition. So what made a high-rise building with successful composition? It is full of love and nostalgia for my second aunt. This is the feeling of "sweeping the grave"; "I don't want to grow up" is this feeling; This is especially true when crying and singing at the grave. Is it beautiful to have such deep feelings in composition?
Example 6
birthday
Zhang Ran
65438+ 10 month 17, 2068, is my 80th birthday. I am sitting on the space 8 cruise ship, waiting for the arrival of the guests.
"Wang Ye, Wang Ye, there are guests coming." My space servant reports.
I got up at once to greet the guests. Oh, an old classmate, Dr. Li Juan. At the age of 82, she is still as young as 16. By the way, I immediately remembered the news that Dr. Li Juan invented "Youth Rejuvenation Dan" on the space website. I took her hand excitedly and said, "old classmate, I almost didn't recognize you." Is this the role of' Youth Rejuvenation Dan'? " Li Juan smiled, took out a small box and handed it to me, saying, "Happy birthday, old classmate." When I saw it, it was Youth Rejuvenation Dan. I swallowed it. Strangely, when I looked in the mirror again, I was still as young as before.
While speaking, Liu Xi came. "Happy birthday!" She gave me a present with a smile. When I saw it, I was really shocked. Oh, my God, it's human skin clothes! Liu Xi said unhurriedly, "What are you afraid of? This is not real human skin, but an advanced bionic product. Try it on! " I put it on in fear and went out. I didn't expect this thing to be great It is cold-proof and heat-resistant, and also has the function of generating oxygen for people to breathe. It turns out that this is Liu Qian's newly invented "human skin respirator", which can breathe in space. It's amazing!
The more friends get together, the more gifts there are.
Jane Li Juan sent a time machine, on which you can see the lives of people in past dynasties. Xiao Bo got an invisibility cloak, so he can be invisible as long as he wears it. What Wang Yan sent was a magical seed. As long as it is planted, there will be oases in space. ...
I feel the rapid development and greatness of science. On my 80th birthday, my old classmates gave me so many novel gifts. I wonder what my old classmates will give me for my 800th birthday.
Dial six
It's really novel for teenagers to write their 80th birthday. The novelty of the exercise doesn't stop there, and there are amazing words such as "Youth Resurrection Pill", "Human Skin Respirator Breathing in Space", "Time Shuttle", "Magic Seed Turning Space into Oasis" and "I don't know what gift I will receive for my 800th birthday". Spread the wings of imagination, and it will create a new world of composition and life.
Example 7
birthday
Chen Zhong
The little carp family lives in a remote deep ditch. With beautiful scenery and flowers, it is a rare paradise.
Tomorrow is the birthday of the little carp. Everyone is very happy. Beautiful clothes and rich food were prepared for him. But the little carp is not satisfied. He wants to see the bustling world outside. He mentioned it to adults before, but adults firmly opposed it.
On this rare opportunity, he spoke again. I was interrupted by my father's "no" before I finished. Dad said, "everything depends on you, but it's not this." Do you know how your uncle died? When my uncle and I were your age, we went out to see the world together. Your second uncle was so hungry on the road that he couldn't help eating some food floating in the water. " Somehow, she was hooked out of the water with an iron hook and never came back. Dad said sadly.
But the little carp just wants to see the outside world. He lay on the ground, rolling around, and rubbed off several pieces of armor of small fish. Mother carp can't stand it anymore, so she says to father carp, "Let him go! I'm going with him. Don't let him eat on the road, okay? " Carp dad had to agree, or put forward a request-hurry back!
On his birthday, the little carp and his mother set off early in the morning. Along the way, it was so beautiful. Little carp has never seen so many houses, so many people and cars. Little carp is really happy. There is indeed food hanging in the water from time to time. If you don't remember the fish father, your mother will remind you all the time, and the little carp will definitely be tempted.
Swimming, the water is not so clear, the unpleasant smell is getting stronger and stronger, and it is difficult to breathe. Mother carp told the little carp to swim back. But the little carp is in a good mood and wants to swim forward. "No, no," pleaded the little carp. "Mom, let's swim forward for a while, just for a while, shall we?" It is not easy for mother carp to spoil the interest of young carp, and it is not easy to think of it. It depends on the children.
After swimming for a while, the little carp saw some pillars on the shore smoking black smoke and asked his mother, "What is that?"
Mother carp said, "That's the chimney of the factory." "How can the chimney smoke?" "I don't know this either." "I must go and see it." I can't go. I heard your grandfather say it was dangerous there. " Before the words were finished, the little carp had swam to the factory. Perhaps afraid of being stopped by his mother, the little carp swam very fast. The mother carp saw that the situation was not good and called the little carp back loudly. The little carp didn't listen and swam faster. When mother saw this scene, she had to speed up. She wants to stop the little carp.
Suddenly, a hot and smelly black water rushed over, and the mother carp suddenly lost consciousness.
For a long time, the carp mother woke up and looked for the child in panic. With great effort, I finally found the little carp floating on the water. It's already dead. Looking at the dead child, mother carp cried. Crying and saying, "son, you died miserably!" Mom did this to you! How can I take you to this hellhole ... how can I tell your father when I go back? "
Dial number seven
The practice is concrete and vivid, full of life breath and reasonable. After the exercise, the little carp died, and its mother cried and said that she couldn't explain it clearly. In fact, what is really "difficult to explain" should be the human beings who create "hot and smelly black water" and pollute the environment. May the author's cry of "protecting the environment" arouse people's attention.
summary
There are many similar good compositions, such as argumentative essays, diaries and letters. Only Pengshan Literature and Art in our county selected and distributed 23 "birthday" compositions of our classmates at one time. The success of this composition fully demonstrates the great role of stimulating thinking. It fully shows that it is not that there is no material and no words, but that we have not stimulated our thinking and used our brains to find it seriously. Think about it, too. How can you not write your own birthday and other people's birthdays? How can there be no meaningful birthday to write, no emotional birthday to write, or even an interesting and unforgettable birthday? Why don't people write birthdays, animals and plants? Even if I don't write these, I will never say that I can't even write my thoughts and feelings about my usual birthday!
When writing, stimulate your thinking more! Think more, think farther and think deeper. If you do this, you will never be unable to find the material and write it.
Practical design
According to the above tips, stimulate your thinking and write a composition on the topic of "birthday".