1. Life is too difficult. In order to master the art of eating, I am practicing using chopsticks with my left hand.

2. Don’t quarrel with your parents. Because when you don't win the argument, you only get scolded, and when you win the argument, you only get beaten. Be obedient! .

3.?I liked you when you were plump, but why are you so thin now? I feel so embarrassed, Oh, my wallet!

4.?When will the bright moon come? Ask me for wine Roommate, I wonder if the handsome guy next door has a girlfriend?

5. Money can buy a house but not a home, it can buy a marriage but not love, it can buy a clock but not time. Money is not everything, but the source of pain. Give me your money and let me bear the pain alone! .

6. Mom’s advice: Girl, you must eat appropriately to lose weight!

7.?I am a lonely tree, standing by the roadside for thousands of years, waiting lonely, just for one day when you walk by me, I will fall for you. I don’t care if I can’t smash you. I have lived in vain.

8.?Boss, is money really that important to you? I talked for more than three hours and didn’t get a penny drop?

9.?To be a human being, you must be a person who hovers between cow A and cow C

10.?I asked 10086 what love is and it said that peace is built Beautiful Home, but I burst out laughing

11. Don’t say you love me easily unless you mean it, because I might do some crazy things, such as... Trust you.

12. When a girl says she wants to lose weight, don’t believe it, especially a foodie. Because when she said this, she had just eaten.

13. I always quarrel with the teacher, but I never win, because I forget that he is the teacher and I am the student. This is called class nature!

14. In my next life, I want to be an ant queen. I will not have to worry about food and clothing. I can stay at home all my life and have many male pets. It will be a good life.

15. Why smoke? To wait for someone to persuade me to quit smoking

16. “I decided not to have lunch?” “Is it because of losing weight?” “Because I am poor”

17.? A netizen on a certain forum Question: We are both women. Why is it so easy to coax my girlfriend, but so hard to coax my mother-in-law? Answer: Because my mother-in-law has already been fooled once.

18.?I am like a fly lying on the glass, with a bright future but no way out.

19. The highest state of work is to watch others go to work and receive other people’s wages.

20. When I give birth to a son, he will be named "So Handsome". Then when people see me, they will say, "What a handsome dad."

21. I am currently in class. , the teacher suddenly said: "Whoever can answer the next question I ask can go home directly from get out of class. "I immediately threw my schoolbag out of the window. "Who threw it? "I threw it!" Then I'm going home! ".

22.? My father said to my mother: "I finally confirmed that I am actually your long-lost brother! "My mother looked confused and at a loss for a moment! At this time, my father suddenly pointed at me and cursed: "Otherwise, how could such an idiot be born! "

23. There is a song that has deceived everyone for more than ten years! If you don't believe it, you sing: "You carry the burden, and I hold the horse." "Recall the division of labor in Journey to the West, Sha Monk carries the burden, Wukong leads the way, who leads the horse? Who sings the Bajie!.

24.? What is the pain that can be touched? It's me I feel hungry and feel like a lump of meat.

25. Do you know why the holiday is so short? Because there is no morning during the holiday. Do you know why it is so long after school starts? There's morning!

26.? Yesterday, a friend said that the subtitles were missing halfway through the movie, and it was clearly written on the screen: I don’t understand French. I made up the previous subtitles. I can’t make up any more...

27.?I have to be scolded four times a day. I don’t get up in the morning, I surf the Internet when I get up, I don’t read a book all day, and I don’t sleep at night.

28.?God said, let there be light, I said I objected, and from then on there was darkness in the world

29.? God, did you let summer and winter live together? ! What a hell of a weather!

30.? I fell in love with a pair of pants and wore them three times. Today I grit my teeth and bought them

31.? It’s not easy to take a day off. When I wake up, I find that it’s time again. Go to sleep!