1. In order to improve the safety of the product, we decided to print on the coke bottle cap: Please open this end; Bottle bottom print: Please open the other end.

2. Wife, I shouldn't shine shoes with sheets, but I just got back from a business trip and I can't change them for a while. I was wrong.

3, the girl's heart, beautiful and flawless; Innocent heart, beauty lies in innocence; The heart of the strong is fearless; The beauty of people with lofty ideals lies in selflessness.

4. I am not a prince. Why do girls always think they should be a princess when they see me?

The species of animals are decreasing, but the species of people are increasing?

6. One worships heaven and earth and suffers from his wife's anger from now on, and the other worships Gao Tang for her hard work. The husband and wife tightened their belts and sent them to the bridal chamber. I knelt on her bed. Alas, I am a sheep and she is a wolf.

7. The wife goes out to follow, the wife orders obedience, and the wife makes mistakes and blindly follows; Wife waits for makeup, remembers birthdays, endures beatings and scolding, and is willing to spend money.

8. Knowledge is like underwear, invisible but important.

9. Stupid people are terrible not because they are stupid, but because they are smart.

10, to me, you are a light bulb in the dark, bread in hunger, cotton-padded jacket in winter and ice cream in summer. You are the only wealth in my life.

1 1, you can live like a pig, but you can never be as happy as a pig!

12, salted fish turns over, or salted fish.

13, the soft wind caresses the willow branches, and the bees gather flowers diligently. If you want to write a farewell poem, wait until no frogs croak. As long as the sunrise appears before sunset, as long as the class arrives before class.

14, can you find a place to have a drink and make friends? Or should I give you my wallet?

15, there are two ways to pollute a place: garbage or money!

16, getting married is to wear cotton-padded clothes freely, which is inconvenient to move, but it will be warm.

17, muddle through and find the star Baidu. If you don't do it, how can you know the pain of confinement? Helpless, far away from comparison and long-term; Suddenly one day, I watched the magpie bridge fly.

18, unmarried women lamented: Why do good men become husbands? She was reminded that a wife cultivates a good husband by self-production and self-sale, and no man can learn by himself.

19, so many people despise me, who are you?

Network classic funny sentences

1, life is a chess game. I am willing to be a chess piece. Although I am slow, who has seen me take a step back?

2. There may be several women who don't eat, but none who are not jealous.

3, the goods have a shelf life, and people are tired of watching them. How long can you be awesome in my heart?

Look at a temple from a distance, and then look at our alma mater, with more than 300 nuns and more than 10 thousand old roads.

5. When farting, have you ever thought about the feeling of underwear? There is wood.

Don't be so gentle with me, I will only get deeper and deeper.

7, mermaid, I love you, only you will not cheat.

8. The price of the tomb has risen so fast that I can't afford to die.

9. I will miss you very much after you leave. Why don't you leave?

10, today 10086 came to the news again, still caring about me so much, but I hope he will add "Happy April Fool's Day!"

1 1, girls! Where are so many white horses? Find a donkey to make do, don't wait until one day all the donkeys are taken away, leaving a pile of mules.

12. Everyone who says he doesn't want to fall in love has an impossible person in his heart.

13, men are dumped, the problem of money; Women are dumped, they look bad, I am dumped, and you are fucking crazy.

14, two tigers, two tigers, falling in love, falling in love, all men, all men, really abnormal, really abnormal.

15, women often miss men so much; Men are often fickle with women.

16, reality tells lies with real names, and the network tells the truth with pseudonyms.

17, I'd rather be proud and moldy than humble in love!

18, there is a crash called password input error, there is a panic called account login in different places, there is a feeling of invisibility and visibility, and there is a loss that you have no access rights.

19, if you treat me like a game, I will kill you.

20. When I was a child, I liked playing hide-and-seek best. When others hide, I will go home for dinner.

2 1. After I get it, I think you can't stand it.

22, grab vinegar when SARS, grab salt when nuclear radiation! Have you considered the feeling of soy sauce?

23, the man was dumped, the problem of money; Women are dumped and face problems; I got dumped. You're fucking crazy! !

24, sleep in class, fight after class, and die in the exam.

25. Many people come into your life just to teach you a lesson and then turn around and leave.

26. I just want to know. Which comes first, you or 20xx?

27. A woman's wardrobe is like a harem. There are countless beautiful women, only a few of whom like it.

28. There is no wife in the old lady's cake. Some people expect to get a wife from a drift bottle?

29. Dare to curse me for buying instant noodles without seasoning packets? I curse you for buying instant noodles with only seasoning packets!

30. I went to the city to take part in the pigeon racing yesterday, but I went alone.

Network classic funny sentences 2

1, I'm not in a good mood recently, and I plan to go to heaven tomorrow.

My greatest skill is to use cheap things and expensive effects. Such as camera, microphone, and myself.

The mobile phone didn't ring for a month. I took it to be repaired today. As a result, the maintenance master said that the mobile phone was not broken, but no one called in for more than a month. I knelt down to the master and begged him to stop.

The exam is coming soon. Ask Kobe to control the ball, single subject 8 1 point, rocket control, 22 consecutive subjects, McGrady control, MD, 35 seconds 13 point.

5, people are iron, rice is steel, and you will be hungry if you don't eat for a day.

6. You are Korean, and your whole family is Korean!

7, Qian Qiu fame, I buried you all my life, exquisite country, ridiculous but no king's life.

8. When I came into this world, I never intended to go back alive.

9, I want to puppy love, but it's already late.

10, a classic joke: You look so creative and live so bravely!

1 1. Life is like a millstone that keeps turning, crushing hope a little.

12, finally covered the world for the misty rain in the south of the Yangtze River. After Hua Rong thanked him, it was just a scene, and the mountains and rivers were silent forever.

13, the iron pestle can be ground into needles, and the wooden pestle can only be ground into toothpicks.

14, the phoenix that used to play here, so that this place was named after them, and left without permission, waiting all night. From then on, Wan Li cried.

15, classic funny signature: it's not that the road is rough, but that you can't.

16, what can you do to kill your lover?

17, I never go upstairs because there is an elevator.

18, bitch is always a bitch, even if the economic crisis, you can't be expensive.

19, I can't see my loneliest time either, because I'm loneliest only when you can't see me.

20. Being a parent is a very professional occupation, but most parents go to work without any training.

2 1, hello, host, I am crowded on the 1 bus. I want to order a song for the girl by the window in front. It's Jacky Cheung's song. You know, yes, 1 There is you on the bus, and I am willing to squeeze at all.

22. It may seem so, but not necessarily.

23. As long as the sunrise appears before sunset, as long as the class arrives before class.

24. In bed, practice is the only criterion to test kung fu.

Your ugliness has nothing to do with your face.

Classic network quotations

1, it was unplugged before flirting.

The night gave me a black mouse, but I played with it until dawn.

3. Women refuse love with friendship, and men exchange friendship for love.

4, all weekends that are not for sleeping are hooligans!

Be kind to the person you love, or your heart will go on strike.

6, look at the past are goods, sister who do you want to live with?

7. I'm not afraid to kick you. I'm just afraid that Nike on my feet will get dirty.

8. Without lazy toads, swans would be lonely.

9. Our goal: Look at the money and earn more.

10, it doesn't matter if you're not sorry for everything.

1 1, a person is called loneliness before he has no love. Love is called loneliness.

12, if one day my sister becomes cruel and crazy, please tell others that my sister is a lady.

13. Past events such as yesterday's death and future events such as today's birth.

14, don't be stupid enough to think that the world is as simple as you.

15, dreaming, anything is possible.

16, I like fireworks, but I dare not watch them bloom, because I know they are the most prosperous and sad.

17, I do everything for my brother, for a woman, I do everything for my brother.

18, I not only have a car, but also work by myself.

19, without joy, there is no sad loss.

Every time I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

2 1, people are iron, rice is steel, and you don't pretend to hold back for a day.

22. The happiness of an ostrich is just a pile of sand.

23. I planted the injury myself, and I am very strong.

24. There are no ifs in life, only consequences and results.

25, wife, Gong Yu has come to borrow the excavator!

26. Whatever you move, don't be emotional. Now that it has moved, it is providence.

27. I admit that I have a responsibility, but I must take responsibility. This is my responsibility.

28. Don't challenge my blacklist with your ignorance.

29. Silence actually has a nice name, which is growth.

30. If you come, you will be safe, and if you are blessed, you will be a fool.

3 1, the simplest action explains the most complicated things.

Tell a stranger the truth, because he doesn't know you are pretending to be strong.

33. Are you tired? Just tired. Comfort is for the dead.

34. Kill you with what, dear.

35. You don't want beauty or money. What do you want?

36. The ideal is full, but the reality is very skinny.

37, others pretend, I have to pretend to be experienced.

38. Traveling means going from one's own tired place to another's tired place.

I'm emphasizing that you should keep a low profile. But you have to give me applause and scream.

40, 20 years old is not crazy, no ambition, 30 years old is still crazy, no brain.

4 1, I have been gentle all my life, only smiling for beauty.

42. The earth is moving, and a person will not be in an unlucky position forever.

43. When you are young, memory is a skill; After middle age, forgetting is wisdom.

44. Women are not embarrassed and easy to be embarrassed; Men can't get used to it, and the more they get used to it, the more asshole they become!

45, the ass is a little, and it looks good.

46. Eat without food, save money and fall in love.

47. Every happy beginning must have a sad ending.

48. Mice fell in love with rice, cats fell in love with fish, and even wolves fell in love with sheep. Who fell in love with me?

49. Happiness is simply breathing, and there is no misfortune before breathing stops.

50. There was a saint named Joan of Arc in France. It is a fact that there are many leftover women in China.

5 1, the so-called love story is that you say something you don't believe, but you want the other person to believe it.

52. Your mobile phone is cheaper than the phone bill.

53. I went out yesterday and was stuck in traffic until today.

54. What is love in the world? The sage replied: waste!

55. I have been running in the field of hope, although I occasionally stumble over disappointment.

Remember, I don't even have to look at you.

57. In the face of facts, the more developed our imagination is, the more disastrous the consequences will be.

58. Realistic things are not beautiful, and beautiful things are unrealistic.

59. Look up and smile to cover up the desolation in your heart.

60. Don't think that meeting me is your fate or your embarrassment.

6 1, maybe it was just too simple at first.

62. In this era, money is not a problem, but no money.

63. The first love is infinitely good, but it hangs early.

64. Wow, you look very archaeological.

65. In fact, a person's so-called freedom should be called solitude.

66, the world of flowers, I am too serious.

67. You said you would wait for me to come back. You did it. You found someone to wait with.

68. Ruhua has become so famous. I'm really just a country farmer.

69. When we remove the stumbling blocks laid by others, we may be paving the way for ourselves.

70. The most urgent thing is the most beautiful scenery, and the deepest thing is the most true feelings.

7 1, Shenzhouxing/I think so. I won't pay to see if you can do it.

72. Mixed society is a physical activity, and it pays attention to four lessons: flash and movement.

73. It is said that silence is golden. Is there a lot of gold after a long silence?

74. Seeing you, I feel more entangled than going to the grave.

75, highly educated, no income, social pollution, anthomaniac, unmarried older young women!

76. If you love, please love deeply. If you don't love it, then I'll steal food.

There are two tragedies in life: despair and complacency.

78. Destiny exists, but some people can't believe it, and some people disdain to believe it.

79. If memory is poison, then forgetting is the antidote.

80. There is nothing wrong with San Xiao. The mistake is that it can't stand the temptation!

8 1, women like bad men, not bad men.

82. There are too many liars and obviously not enough fools.

83. Shenzhouxing is ok for me, but I won't spend money to see if you are ok.

84. It's not your turn to tell me what to do in my world.

85. The so-called gentleman is nothing more than a patient wolf.

86. Don't think that you can pretend to be spotless by wearing a white shirt.

87. Who says I'm fat? Who am I in a hurry with? I'm just a little swollen.

88. Baidu couldn't find you, so it had to enter sogou!

89. Say you can, you can, or you can't.

90. What I have is luck, but what I have lost is life.

9 1. Now the 35 otaku who has no house, no car and no sister has a new name: Low Carbon Brother.

92, hands in pockets, nobody loves.

93. I lost a mother, four uncles and grandmothers.

94. I have money, but I have no time to get it.

95. Four results of female breast enhancement; It's different. Very different. Not that big. The size is different.

As an epigram, I hope the above "network classic funny quotes" will help you. To get more famous sentences, you can click on the topic of Happy Birthday Classic Famous Sentences.