1: "Uncle, how to get to the United States?" "Who knows...ask the village chief!"
2: It doesn't waste electricity if you speak louder!
3: Don’t leave until the show is over, go have a meal - whoever goes will pay.
4: The cross talk is great! Criticize the ugliness and promote righteousness.
5: The old man left behind more than a thousand pieces of traditional cross talk. After our actors’ continuous efforts over the years, there are still more than 400 pieces left. There are still 300 paragraphs that are not allowed to be mentioned, and there are 100 paragraphs that conflict with the construction of a harmonious society.
7: The house we live in is riddled with holes. If it rains, it will kill you: it rains moderately in the house when it rains outside, and rains heavily in the house when it rains heavily outside. Sometimes the rain is so heavy that the whole family Go to the upper courtyard to take shelter from the rain.
8: If you are willing to die, I will be willing to bury you.
9: Everyone is willing to listen, willing to listen, or willing to listen. I will never force it.
10: This guy robbed the bank and drove up the North Third Ring Road. It’s half past five in the afternoon! When the police arrived, the road was blocked.
11: Your shameless look has the charm of my past.
12: Huh? You don't know me? I am an artist! I have been an artist for over a week.
Guo Degang: Hey, why did you tear up the photo? You disagree or disagree, why did you tear it up? I still keep it to ward off evil spirits!
15: From now on, I will never settle for lobster again.
16: If the grenades cost one dollar and six, I would have thrown you a hundred dollars first. If the law had not been ignored, I would have beaten you to death!
17: This young man looks like an actor with his face covered...
18: Okay! This plane is just like Daihatsu, and it also has a swing glass! ... Dafa and Xiali don't give me any reimbursement... There is no Dafa in Tianjin, so they all went to the United States... I flew to the United States for half a year and refueled with more than 40,000 yuan in gas. .
!
23: It’s getting cold, so I sent you a coat. The post office said it was too heavy, so I took off the buttons and put them in my pocket. You can sew them yourself
24: Paris...There is a zoo in Paris, did you know...across from the zoo...oh...across from the zoo there is a clothes seller...you can't say you buy clothes...you have to say you want the goods. ..
27: "The story I told today was not far from now. If you have elderly people at home, you can go back and ask - it was during the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period..."
28 : Flight 9014, bound for Daxing Huangcun from Daxizhimen. The fare is 5 yuan. Please board the flight. You said how interesting this is. The flight attendant stood there and shouted, "Come on, get on, get on, there's a big seat, there's a big seat." Guarantee you a big seat!
30: Withered vines and old trees, dim crows, small bridges and flowing water. The horse is thin in the west wind on the ancient road, the sun sets in the west, and the man with a broken heart... is in the hospital... and he still doesn't go to the hospital even if his intestines are broken! ...I am the number one master in tampering with Tang poetry and Song lyrics.
31: Law-abiding people are depressed in the morning, strong beams sing songs night after night, horses and mules are used to benefit oneself at the expense of others, upright and fair people go hungry. Repairing bridges and repairing roads is blind, and there are many murders and arson. I went to the West and asked my Buddha, and the Buddha said: I can't do anything either!
32: "There is a bright moonlight in front of the bed. I suspect it is frost on the ground. I look up at the bright moon. (Pop! Knock on the wood) My name is Guo Degang. There are many people here. I am very happy. Thank you all. Come. Don’t leave until later. Go and have a meal. Whoever goes to listen to the cross talk pays 16,000 more.”
33: “We fell in love with the TV station. Talking about cross talk. Why? That's easy to say! As soon as the assistant director came on stage, "Today", "We two", "To everyone", "Here we are". - A round of applause, 'tell a story', wow-, 'sound', wow-, (praising: every word is a drum!) 'It's not well said', wow-. Applause. Look how good today is, not a single person applauds."
35: "I am a rich man. I drove here backstage today, and they all came on foot. Those old gentlemen in Tianjin went out on Tuesday. But my There has been something wrong with the car recently, and the speed has been a bit slow. At first, I thought the carburetor was broken, but after checking, I found out that the pedals were broken..."
37: My thing. Where did the gun go? Lend me the clothes of a security guard, I will wear them and beat him.
It takes five minutes for someone like you to be shot. If you are caught like this, you will die first and ask questions later.
38: A gangster knows martial arts and no one can stop him! Scientists know martial arts and can't stop even gangsters!
39: I’m going to risk my life!
45: I want to commit suicide and plan to jump off a building. I have done some research on jumping off a building. The 2nd floor is different from the 20th floor. The 2nd floor is "Pa! Ah~~" and the 20th floor is "Ah~~~~ Bang! "
46: When I heard the news of your father's death, the neighbors burst into tears: "It's too late for such a good man to die!"
47: 12 o'clock in the middle of the night. At that time, the two gentlemen went out on the street naked, but Li Jing still wore glasses - if she also wore a mask, it would be considered a three-point style.
48: Two nurses came down, how beautiful they are: 1.7 meters tall, with sideburns and beards, and a palm wide enough to protect the heart hair.
49: Yu Qian’s father—Mr. Wang.
50: Li Jing has a cousin who can tiptoe under Xia Li in high heels. She looks so shabby. Her photo is posted on the door to ward off evil spirits and on the bed for contraception.
51: Which gangster have you seen with a tattoo of Crayon Shin-chan?
52: Don’t I know you yet? If you touch wine, you will get drunk; if you see the world, you will be confused; if you encounter money, you will become obsessed with it; if you pick up the pen, you will forget to write. One good thing about you is that your eyes turn digital when you see big ladies.
53: "Single Sword Club" Everyone knows that Liu Guan and Zhang Taoyuan were sworn brothers. The three brothers knelt on the ground like brothers, and then the three brothers protected Monk Tang and went to Xitian to obtain Buddhist scriptures. There is this story in "A Dream of Red Mansions".
54: Crosstalks are all made up, this paragraph is true.
55: We all drove back to Beijing. Teacher Yu had a higher status than us. He saw us driving and looked down on us, so he rode his bicycle back.
54: The old man has been sweating these past few days, and his armpits smell like cumin.
55: Our situation is different from yours - we all have fathers
59: Guo Degang: It makes me feel bad to see your father like this. I grew up with the old man, and the one who grew up in front of me watched me grow up. Now that he is so ill, how can I feel in my heart?
Yu Qian: That’s right.
Guo Degang: Alas... (pointing) Old man, you too have today.
62: You have never seen my wife, she is beautiful! Tall, with a big face, heavy eyebrows, big dark eyes. She has no beard. If she had a beard, she would be like Zhang Fei.
64: This plane also burns diesel.
65: There were about twenty people standing at the door of the White House, some men and some women, and their bags were all ready - reporters! I have to be careful what I say, so as not to let them take advantage of me and embarrass the Chinese people. Going downstairs, this group of people came over: "Master, do you want to sell?"
"The seller!" What do you think the White House Cultural Affairs Bureau does for food?
There is a rockery inside the White House, with a banner underneath: Family planning is everyone’s responsibility.
67: One day the master went down the mountain to dance. He accidentally met the daughter of his childhood confidante. From the moment he saw her, the master knew that his career in the world was over. Destined to leave these days when the white clothes come and go like the wind, the old man resolutely put on a wig and returned to the world at the age of eighty.
69: Tieling is still several stops away from the United States!
70: There are four dishes on the table. Open the first one and look at it, ha! very nice! Old vinegar peanuts! Open the second one, even better! Old vinegar peanuts! Open the third one, peanuts, no vinegar! The fourth one saw a plate of vinegar!
71: If there are difficulties, we should help. If there are no difficulties, we should help even if we create difficulties.
72: The girl turned her head and gathered her four hairs.
73: As we were walking, a question mark appeared in front of us, and Liu Bei jumped up and down. Hey, a mushroom came out. After eating the mushroom, Liu Bei grew taller. Still walking forward, there was another question mark. When he touched it, a flower came out. After eating the flower, Liu Bei raised his hand and said, "Beep." Dududududu "Can shoot bullets! Here comes the thorny bastard...
78: Turns out he can talk, I thought he was blind.
79: Guo Degang: "Your grandma told your mother: 'Jinlian, you have to leave.' Yu Qian: "Ah. Guo Degang: "Why are you so anxious? I haven't said that your grandfather's surname is Pan."
”
80: A few inhuman gangsters took advantage of the moonlight to insult Li Qing’s cousin. As soon as the moon came out, the gangsters hand in hand and surrendered.
81: When people do good things, they always want the ghosts and gods to know, and when they do bad things, they always let the ghosts and gods not know. We make things so difficult for the ghosts.
83: Guo Degang: I want to steal both of the terracotta warriors and horses and Yu Qian and him. Dad covered the terracotta warriors with mud and put them there, then washed them and wrote the words "Eight Honors and Eight Disgraces" on them and sold them to the Pan family.
Yu Qian: You are quite capable of selling the real thing as a fake. /p>
84: Flatbread rolls and steamed buns are eaten with rice. International celebrities eat fried liver in the morning, stew and roast them at noon, and stew yeast in the evening
Yu Qian: This international celebrity is quite shameful. Angry.
85: He took off his clothes and slapped his heart, and there were two hairtails tattooed on his chest.
86: There are also mummies... .. Hey, Yu Qian, you have nothing to do, how about I wrap you in a white cloth and lie there
Yu Qian: No, you forgot, my father and I are standing there
Guo Degang: ...Why does your cross talk sound like a TV series?
87: King: Is this a tribute monster from the Fan Gang?
89: Master Zhou, when he was three or four years old, he was playing in the backyard of his home. Suddenly, a god flew from the sky on clouds and landed in front of him. He was very puzzled: "This is, this is What kind of bird is it? This is, ah! "
The god was very unhappy: "Don't fool around! This kid, you have to respect the gods very much, you know? Otherwise I will smoke you, you know? ”
The child was frightened: “The gangsters on the street are scaring me like this. What are your orders?” Whatever you want, I'll steal my father's money for you. "
The god said: "You are talking nonsense! This time there is something else, something else. "
90: How many people are there on earth? How many watches are there in heaven? The hands of bad people turn fast, and the hands of good people turn slowly. "Where are the hands of my watch?" "Oh, I am a fan in God's house. ".
91: Everyone knows "Water Margin", which is a classic literary masterpiece adapted from a TV series.
92: It rained twice this week, once every three days. 4 days
93: My friend said he printed counterfeit money for me, and I gave him 50~~ He gave me 1 yuan, and I couldn’t spend the fake money anywhere. I thought about it for two months. Is he lying to me?
95: Girl, give me a smile. If you don’t smile, I will give you a smile.
96: Guo Degang: Turn around and stand at the door of the bathroom. I felt much calmer, and a man came out of the bathroom opposite.
97: The old father is lying on the bed, you are a filial son, when you see the old father like this, you rush to the bed. , I saw that the old man was not right at this time. He was making trouble. He had something to say, but he couldn't say it. He asked for a pen. He brought a pen and paper and wrote a few words on the paper with trembling words, "Get out! Step on it." My oxygen tube is broken."
100: You have a good physique. You can tell at a glance that you will live until death.
101: His sword is cold, and so is his knife Cold, his heart is cold, his blood is cold... This grandson is freezing!
102: Go your own way, let whoever wants to say go.
104: Three feet long spring, thousands of books, God gave me what I want, if I can’t serve the country and bring peace to the world, whose husband am I?
105: I hate you
106 : No way~
107: This guy is the worst! He killed his father when he was 13 years old, pushed his mother into the river when he was 15 years old, and committed suicide after watching her for less than 5 minutes! , tears came down - "Sister, I think this is a misunderstanding..."
108: That's your father, I'm talking about your father!
109: Me! Participate, you contribute, I am happy!
110: The world is silent, broad-minded, everyone’s business is my business, benefiting the people, relieving the society, and specifically helping you powerless people. The mentally handicapped group,
(disadvantaged group) takes your business as my business, everyone looks like my children.
111: How many people have been on the verge of being counseled by me. People who commit suicide have all tried to kill others, and they were all inspired by me.
113: The sky in Xuanwu District is sunny, and the people in Tongzhou District like it so much! Looking at Fengtai, I shouted loudly: I love you, Haidian!
Yu Qian: OK! The King of Suburban County!
115: Old man, please be civilized!
117: If I were a star in the sky, you would be the sun; if I were insulin, you would have high blood sugar; I am the Pleasant Goat, you are the Big Big Wolf; I am "Apple" and you are "Lust, Caution" ; I am Orange from Guangyuan, you are milk powder from Sanlu; I am Edison Chen... (I am not Cecilia Cheung) You are Nicholas Tse's son, called uncle...
118: These days in Yu Qian's family Something happened too. (Lowers head) Their house~~The old man is gone! Hey, wasn't it just a few days ago? On December 30, 2006, he was hanged in the United States~~~
Yu Qian: "Wait a moment, that's Saddam, that's not my father." ”
119: A tailor who doesn’t want to be a cook is not a good soldier!
120: Guo Degang: Are you strong enough to press (ya)?
Yu Qian: Why do you curse?
Guo Degang: This is in Shanghai. How can anyone understand this?
121: Guo Degang: I envy you!
Yu Qian: What are you envious of?
Guo Degang: Do you know me at such a young age? !
122: Guo Degang: Give me...yearly money!
Yu Qian: Oh, it’s “Ya” with me!
123: As soon as I entered the house, hoo! Look at this old lady with fair hair and childish face, so energetic! She is sitting cross-legged on the Kang, holding this book "Jin Ping Mei" in her hand...
125: Anyone who doesn't know Yu Qian has never eaten pork
126: Guo Degang: Bungee jumping, okay?
Li Jing: That’s not okay, I’m afraid of water!
Guo Degang: It doesn’t matter if you are afraid of water. I will grind a cement surface for you below.
Li Jing: I’m jumping on the cement floor.
Guo Degang: After polishing, we are afraid that children will step on some glass stubble to ensure your safety. Let’s tie a 500-meter rope to the 200-meter stalk.
127: You have to work hard to talk about cross talk. I'm sweating now. You see, people don't sweat. They keep their "sweat".
128: If you are willing to die, I will be willing to bury you.
129: Kara is a dog, I wrote it, and I plan to write another one about Yu Qian is a pig
130: When big shots go out to buy tickets, they always ask: "Who has the Titanic?" "Yu Qian: "The great master Huo is dead."
131: Three feet of dragon spring and thousands of books, what do I want from God? If I can't serve the country and bring peace to the world, whose husband am I? Yu Qian: "What word are you talking about?" Guo Degang: "It's a Tang poem." Yu Qian, "Why is there a mention of finding a wife in Tang poems?"
132: (Yu Qian's father) Let me introduce it to you! I was the one who introduced Yu Qian when he was making a tertiary film
133: Let’s invite the director to dinner. The director said he wanted to eat simple Lanzhou cuisine. Yu Qian said: “Lanzhou cuisine?” Guo Degang: “Want the strips? "Add meat"
134: Be diligent, I just spent the time others drink coffee on drinking beer
135: I just said that Kong Shengren was illiterate, I just said Zhuge Liang is a great dancer, so I would say that Li Bai and Li Qingzhao have the same surname! Yu Qian: "Li Bai and Li Qingzhao, one man and one woman, can they be gay?" Guo Degang: "Both are named Li."
136: If you want to get rich, take off your pants first
137: I was like I’m 400 points away from going to Peking University
138: The naked flesh of these big girls is revealed
139: Formalin, this will be passed down forever. One bottle is all yours
140: Mr. Guo, please respect yourself. We only sell ourselves but not our arts
141: It’s not enough for you to have friends from far away
142: On the three-meter springboard, Guo Jingjing praises Wu Minxia.
143: Backward somersault for three and a half weeks and more than a month.
144: Everyone is familiar with getting married, and it is a popular leisure activity for the general public.
145: Tower climbing competition, there are first, second and third prizes, the first prize is 50,000, the second prize is 70,000...
146: My watch is expensive The original price is 350,000, with a discount of 420....
147: Valentine's Day is celebrated on February 14th. On this day, I go out with my lover and other people's wives. (Other people’s daughter-in-law? My own daughter-in-law!) My daughter-in-law left with someone else! ...
148: I was so angry that I scolded him severely: I’ll get out of here. (Afraid of speaking in a hurry)
149: Your monthly salary is less than 1,500 yuan, so you can’t even think about supporting a female star.
150: Many images of heroes flashed before my eyes, including a senior official from Ximen and Mr. Chen (Edison Chen) who loves photography.
151: Hello, my name is Guo Degang , what do you think my name is?
152: Kong Shengren once said: Pigs will lose all the good cabbage
153: Find a Go performing artist to perform for us
< p>154: Everyone is familiar with the game of Go. The horse moves the sun, the elephant moves the field, and the army commander, eh, eh, what the hell...155: My dad is anxious, roll up his sleeves : I will fight with you
156: My sister-in-law has prostate discomfort
157: I am a gangster and I will do things for you as long as you give me money, smashing windows and throwing shit. But you have to pay extra for throwing shit. It feels different if you want to catch bricks and catch shit (Yu Qian: Your underworld is really dirty)
158: I opened the door and went in: I will collect a monthly protection fee from now on. "Go out and see where this (police station) is", I broke out in a cold sweat. (Yu Qian: It’s good enough for people to let you out)
159; My fence is big, 20 miles on one side, the same length on all four sides, a big rectangle.
160: I am from the underworld, please take pity on me
161: I stopped the woman walking on the road and was about to rob her. When I asked, I found out that she was a laid-off female worker. The more she talked, the more she became more and more confused. Poor, I gave her five yuan in the end
162: Lie down wherever you fall
163: I especially hope that everyone will help me and give me some love. I will return your one-night stand
164: I am not afraid of difficulties. There is no word difficulty in my dictionary. . . . . I don't have a dictionary. . . There are no words in my dictionary
165: She picked up her slippers and hit me, haha, you took me for a bush.
166: How can there be so many artists? Now when it rains, the artist along the wall will appear "woo~~~". Artists all come out with shit, right?
167: The medicinal wine my grandfather made was very good. My second uncle drank it and died. Later, the forensic autopsy report came and said that the formula of the medicinal wine and arsenic was the same.
168: We have a lot of antiques in our house, including my uncle’s slippers, my grandma’s kimchi, and my grandpa’s ashes
169: I bought a few paintings by Tang Bohu, including beautiful landscapes. , Fuwa, a set of five....
170: I bought Wang Xizhi’s handwritten large characters: One World, One Dream.
171: Let me eat quickly , I deceived my stomach: You are full, you are full...
172: Don’t think that everyone with tattoos is a bad person. Yue Fei also has a tattoo, with four big characters tattooed on his back: Arrive This trip
173: I was changing clothes in the car, and someone was leaning against the window. Girl, look at this, I’m so anxious. Do you always see people changing clothes like this? The woman replied, "Do you always change in other people's cars?"
174: It’s such a cold day, I have no clothes, I’m wearing a plastic suit
175: Wen Neng brings peace to the world with his pen, Wu Neng immediately decides the world and gets to know women on the kang. Shoes
176: Cooking with a spit bucket is said to be an innovation, but who the hell dares to eat it
177: Today is like July 7th, when the divine bird meets a foreign chicken
178: My uncle used to be a flight attendant
179: In the past, you could only see your butt when you opened the swimsuit; now you can only see the swimsuit by opening your butt. Too vulgar.
180: Traveling through the time tunnel, the wire stalks on both sides, swish, swish...
181: White Swan Band--I dare to blackmail you in the daytime
182: Waiting for the Prime Minister - No one will pay attention to waiting with a shovel
183: The whole family only has one quilt, the size of a mask
184: You are a teacher, A Professor
185: I am a superman! The only difference between me and Superman is that I wear my underwear inside!
186: 31-color ice cream shop in Brazzaville, Congo
187: I have my ambition - I want revenge
188: Put aside your evil deeds On the cart, you are too wicked; give him some salt, you are too wicked
189: You are not a pornographic film actor.
190: When you get rich, you can also put real money in the bus!
191: The Leaning Tower of Pisa is boring, I don’t want to see it! I have watched over the years, and I always stay with Zhang Wenshun."
192: You deserve it, die~~~~~
193: I am used to sleeping on the kang at home< /p>
194: Non-famous crosstalk actor "Guo Degang"
195: Crosstalk pays attention to four skills: cheating, cheating and cheating! 196: Confrontation in the background! Is there such a sentence in the lyrics?
197: The truth that has been sung more than 16,000 times
198: Spend two hundred dollars to buy a little pig and drink water. Eat the beans, throw them over the wall, and with a squeak, guess what~~~ He’s dead!
199: Not only do you charge money for coughing~
200: Yes.
201: The beasts in the mountains are the swallows in the clouds, the cattle and sheep on the land are fresh from the sea, the hericium's bird's nest is the shark's fin, the bear's paw is the scallop and the deer's tail tip! , Like the wind and the remaining clouds...
202: You don’t even like fried noodles?
203: Thank God! The stew given to me
204: A scientist with good ethics
205: I am in your business
206: You have to take care of the rice, 4 dishes One soup. Shredded peppers and potatoes, scrambled eggs with tomatoes, shredded fish-flavored pork, cucumbers, enough rice
207: Let me tell you something real.
208: There is no door that can stop him, there is no lock that can stop him, it is the bank's safety lock, he can just poke it open with a piece of celery
209: He drank too much last time. I used my chopsticks as chicken feet and ate one and a half.
210: You think I don’t dare to stew you. I would have stewed you if we had a pot at home.
211: Take a taxi... We don’t pay $1.6, we pay $1.2! I don’t want to sit in the front. If you sit in the front, you have to pay!!
212: There is a frying pan under the Yin Cao Palace, kid. They used steel forks to lift the recently deceased people into the frying pan. Some went in alone, two people went in together to fry them, and some stretched them into squares...
213: Here. Forty steamed buns, eighty pounds of pancakes, and two copies of this recipe - there are many ways to commit suicide. This is a waste of food.
214: I have been in elementary school for ten years and middle school for twelve years. I was rated as the most familiar face in the school. When new teachers came, they all asked me about the inside story of the school...
215: A few friends from Taiwan came backstage, held my hand and said, we like it very much. Your cross talk, but it’s getting late, we should leave, if it’s 105 later, there will be no car
216: If I couldn’t beat you, I would have fallen out with you
217 : You all know it! You haven’t mentioned me in your gossip?
218: I play computer games at home and chat with netizens on SM. How energetic I am.
< p>219: A normal lock can be opened with a noodle, and a neighborhood can be opened with a bag of instant noodles.220: When I arrived in Yunnan, ‘Would you like to see folk dance? ’ ‘Don’t look! There is one in Beijing too! ’ ‘Have you ever seen someone without clothes? ’ ‘…I know what nationality you are without clothes? ’
222: Here’s a one-cent watermelon, and the scale will be accurate.
223: I ordered a portion of shark fin fried rice, but I couldn’t find the shark fin with three pairs of chopsticks. Can you tell me where the shark fin is? The chef said, my name is shark fin.
224: I haven’t eaten for several days, and everyone looks like a pancake.
225: Just as he was talking, the BP machine on Bush's body rang, which was very impressive.
226: Does their family have a bad reputation? If you don’t pick things up in the aisle, they will be thrown away.
227: "Dad, I'm hungry!" "I'm hungry again. Didn't you eat last year?"
228: I threw the shot put very far, the coach said, It doesn’t count if the person is out!
229: This brain is about the size of a pine nut. When you open the skull and look at it, it’s like a bowl of stew.
230: When we come to Paradise, the buildings here are beautiful and there are signs on both sides: stalls are strictly prohibited within 100 meters to the left and right of Paradise!
231: If you want to eat a hamburger, wrap it with a piece of paper and uncover it; if you want to eat crab, uncover it; if you want to drink milk, put a pimple on the bun...
232: Me Buy 50 good cars - Alto, Alto, Alto...! Use wire darts to rise and drive like a train!
233: We got lost halfway. He took out a bunch of instruments and pointed the needles in the southeast, northwest and northwest... I said you are lagging behind. We have to take advanced measures and throw away our shoes.
234: People have plasma TVs, so I got one too and got it from a friend. It was as big as a wall, and it was a Motorola brand... It looked like there was no one around, and the TV made a sound: The TV you are watching is not in the service area... It makes no sense, these 300 yuan were not wasted.
235: Someone introduced me to a girlfriend. She is so beautiful, and her face looks like someone from a car accident.
236: Is there a two-foot-long lobster? Sorry, there are no two-foot-long ones, only two-foot-two ones. What kind of shabby restaurant doesn't even have two-foot-long lobsters, here is a plate of shredded potatoes.
237: Do you know Yu Qian? Don’t know me! Then you certainly don't often see regulation in progress.
238: Guo Degang: That fan (Yu Qian) is made of ivory! ...On one side are words and on the other side are paintings. Written by the great calligrapher Mi Nanyang.
Yu Qian: What are you writing about?
Guo Degang: Master, just follow me.
The first female disciples Qin Li and Guo Degang
This side, this side: Master, please spare me.
239: As soon as I took off my cotton pants, Miss Chun came!
240: Playing music: “Dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang-dang , "Dang Li Ge Dang."...Zhu Bajie's song of carrying his wife to his back
241: I sell Kaifeng vegetables, and I make him taste very foreign. Take the first word of the English alphabet. Open (take) K, seal (take) F, dish (take) C, KFC. Then hang up the photo of my grandfather wearing glasses.
242: Guo Degang: I want to sell Korean food. There is a Korean restaurant called "Mingyue Sanqianli". Why is it called Sanqianli?
Yu Qian: Our land area is three thousand miles.
Guo Degang: That’s not as good as us. Our Chinese civilization has five thousand years, his name is three thousand miles, and mine is five thousand years. He is the bright moon, for the sake of confrontation, the moon is against the sun. He is "the bright moon of three thousand miles". I am "Five Thousand Years of White Sun"
Yu Qian: You got everyone involved.
243: Two kids fighting: You are CCTV, you are CCTV!
245: Guo: (Beijing Qinshu Diao) That gold and silver treasure has the highest price! Time is like a sword that cuts people! The shuttle between the sun and the moon is so exciting! The three golden lights of the Sun Buddha will boil people, (Qinshu passing the door) (Dang Dang Dang Dang Dangli!) Tell the story of the people's own!
246: Guo Degang: A famous folk artist, his name is Ma Canhu Yu Qian: Foreigner? Guo Degang: No, Chinese, his name is Ma Canhu Yu Qian: What is his surname? Guo Degang: His surname is Xia Ni Yuqian: Blind you Mom is involved? Guo Degang: I hate it——from the special performance of Beijing Exhibition of My Words on August 18, 2009
250: Okay, are you talking to Wei Tuo about buddies? Yes, he is older than me and I am his brother. What about him? He is my Viagra! (Jigong Biography)
251: There is no such airtight pants in the world.
(You have to marry me)
261: The Dutch sun shines on the face, and the Americans smile
262: The prince and princess began to live a life without shame
p>
263: Miss Guan Gong at the sales office
264: Drinking one drink after another...
265: I will feed you as a cow or a horse in the next life Eating a handful of grass
266: Everyone who has made mistakes knows
267: Maybe time is the best medicine. Day by day passed, and on the third day I figured it out< /p>
268: I walked over like a gentleman, stretched out my legs, "Pah!" I went over to help her, "Don't be nervous, I'm not a good person."
270: What a coincidence, you peed on your hands too.
271: What do you think is bad about me, I will change it; what do you think is good about me, I will change it
272: I visited her carefully
273: Her appearance has exceeded human imagination. This woman is so recognisable. She has a very post-modern style and must have the blood of Transformers.
274: I looked at her, "Are you the rescuer invited by the monkey?"
275: My online name is Refuse, and the radical is more subtle, (that Remove it) Giant color
277: I took nude photos and posted them online two days ago, but I didn’t expect the post to sink.
278: Someone came over and drew a Circle and write the word "dismantle"
279: She was very grateful and leaned gently on my shoulder. A photographer took a photo, which was later named "The Love Between Humans and Ghosts" 》. This photo was spread abroad. Saddam saw it and praised, "The beautiful girl was strangled to death."
280: I dreamed of eating noodles yesterday and woke up to find that my shoelaces were gone
p>
281: If I don’t go to hell, whoever loves me will go to hell