I listened to this book several times on WeChat Reading before and bought it because I thought it was pretty good. I quite agree with the parenting philosophy of the author, Teacher Luo Ling. The content is quite extensive and covers a wide range of topics. I will come across it in the future. Which type of problem, then read the book to study in a targeted manner. The overall feeling is mainly two points: one is to pay attention to the mother's own growth, and the other is to recognize the child's feelings and understand the child.

It was really sad to see the news about the third grade students in Wuhan some time ago. Teacher Luo wrote in the book: There is nothing wrong with the child, it’s just that you don’t know how to be a parent

I deeply agree

Therefore, when a child has a problem, we should reflect more on our own problems instead of blaming the child directly.

When reading this book, you will find that the communication between Teacher Luo and the children is very skillful for the same problem, and more positive language is used in the communication, which can really achieve the purpose. Unexpected effects.

There is a passage at the beginning that touches me very much, and I believe everyone is the same:

All parents are the same, stumbling through various regrets, joys, confusions and realizations every day. Moving forward, we and our children face unknown stages one after another.

We try our best to do it perfectly now and are afraid of regrets. But a few years later, we will find that although we have made many mistakes and have not done it perfectly, our children can still grow up well. , grow into a physically and mentally healthy young man.

Before little Pudding was one year old, I was also a mother who was prone to anxiety. I was always worried and worried that my own negligence would affect some aspects of his growth. As the child grew up, , my mentality is much better, because he looks good now. I will still study according to the book, but I only refer to the general direction. Every child is a different individual. I learn to observe my own child and make adjustments according to his situation

Our own Growth is the prerequisite for our ability to achieve good parenting.

[Breeze] For example, understanding the growth pattern of children

I always hear friends around me complain that 2-year-old children are too scary. If parents don’t know the reason, they will just think that the child is in trouble. Unreasonable making trouble

Teacher Luo said: The reason why a 2-year-old child makes trouble is because he desires to do things independently, but cannot do it well due to his limited ability, which leads to anxiety.

Put yourself in someone else's shoes. When we adults want to do something but are not able to do something, we are also very anxious and irritated, let alone a child. Therefore, after we know the reason for the child's trouble, we will not be too angry. , because this is normal

Looking at the children around me, I feel that this is really the case. Some time ago, I heard my friend’s three or four-year-old child keep talking about farts, and then they laughed together. When we understand the growth pattern of our children, our mentality will be much calmer, and this will also make the children emotionally stable

This is something we as mothers need to slowly master, and on the other hand, it also makes me I admire Teacher Luo very much. Sure enough, we must cultivate ourselves first before we can better educate our children.

Teacher Luo’s daughter asked her mother: Why is it that after buying a toy that I like very much, I am only happy for a short period of time.

Mother Luo’s reply was so wise. It was the first time for me, nearly thirty years old, to hear such an explanation.

She said: There are four ways to obtain happiness

The first is comfort and pleasure: being satisfied when you are full, and walking to the shade of a tree to cool off when the weather is hot

The second is the satisfaction of desires. If you want to buy a toy and snacks, you will be happy when satisfied

The third is to enjoy doing things: enjoy the process of doing things, be satisfied with your abilities and have a sense of accomplishment.

The fourth type is to do meaningful and valuable things, such as helping others.

The first and second type of happiness are easier to get, but the duration is also shorter and faster. will disappear

The third and fourth happiness can last longer

Through examples, she helps children learn to switch between several kinds of happiness, instead of just A kind of happiness

[Breeze] Respect children

When children make mistakes, how parents treat their children's mistakes is itself a demonstration and an education. Opportunities to help children learn and progress when mistakes and failures are made, and allow children to draw lessons

Use more positive language, let children find problems, and guide them to slowly change

Give children autonomy Give him the right and space to encourage him to do things independently and make his own judgments, choices, and decisions. Leave things that belong to him to him, and only appear when you really need your opinions and reminders

If a person has the ability to learn, the ability to perceive happiness, and the ability to reflect self-worth and enjoyment If he has the ability to live, then it doesn't matter where he is in the world or where he is in various orders and chains.

[Breeze] Mother’s Pressure

Always tell yourself, believe in yourself and your child, everything will be fine for him and he will grow up well.

Respect your own limitations, respect your child's own destiny and life, and be the best mother possible with peace of mind, and your child can be himself with peace of mind.

A few short words gave me a big shot in the arm. This is the mentality a mother should have. While striving to become better, she must also learn to accept her own imperfections. Only when we have a peaceful mind can our children grow in the same good direction. When we are strong, our children can become stronger

[Breeze] Once you have a child, your world will restart

Finally At the end, Teacher Luo said: At the moment when the child arrives, our old life is instantly formatted, and everything is restarted.

Formatting and restarting, this is how it feels after giving birth. Everything has changed. The old life is no longer there. Sometimes I miss the old life, but when I think about it, this new life is even better. It makes me happy, makes me more determined in my goals, and makes me more looking forward to the future.