A collection of humorous personality signatures that can amuse girls most
1. As the forest area is decreasing, lions stipulate that each animal can only have one house. Soon, the rabbit was arrested because of the three caves of cunning rabbits. The bee knew it, thought about it, and went home and committed suicide. . .
2. Making money is my father, and spending money is my son. I am tired of making money, but my son is not guilty of spending money. Laozi gets up early and suffers from greed, and his son spends his money smartly. I hope you will spend properly and don't hold me back.
3. When are the spring flowers and the autumn moon? I know how hard it is to make money. Last night, the supermarket went shopping again, and the interest in spending money should still be there. It's just that Zhu Yan changed. What is the geometry of saving money? It's just a moonlight shining. May you spend reasonably and accumulate Jinbei.
4. A man who doesn't care about women should find a woman he is satisfied with: 1. He doesn't care about being a virgin. Second, I don't care if I have children. Third, I don't care if I can do housework. Fourth, I don't care if I am long and beautiful. 5. I don't care if I was a woman before. .
5. Dad, shall we go to the circus? I have no time. Listen to the children, there is a naked aunt dancing on the tiger. Well, I haven't seen tigers for a long time.
6. A friend whose husband is a lawyer specializes in divorce litigation.
7. Friend: Husband, don't fight divorce lawsuits in the future. It's a bit immoral to break up other families.
8. Husband: Split a pair and make two pairs, accumulate virtue and do good.
9. I got to know you by chance, paid attention to you when I met you twice, dated you three times and four times, and missed you so much that 9% of me should like you, and I am quite sure that I love you. It takes a hundred years to meet true love, and a thousand years to fulfill you and me. Are you willing to do everything?
1. To tell you a secret, please look at the back first, then at the left, then at the right. Ok, please don't look around with your mobile phone!
11. Urgent reminder: There may be tornado weather recently, so be sure to take two 1-kilogram dumbbells with you when you go out to avoid being swept to the west by the strong wind. Those who weigh less than 5 kilograms must be doubled.
12. I was driving to work with my buddy, and I met the police at the intersection. Because I didn't wear my seat belt, I was called by the police. The police said that I would be fined 5 for not wearing my seat belt. When my buddy heard that I would be fined, he explained to the police: Sorry, Comrade, I forgot to wear my seat belt after drinking some wine at noon. . .
13. pS: It's six o'clock in the morning! Stop writing! Stop writing! Too sleepy! In fact, women should be coaxed, but not spoiled. This is the experience accumulated by men from long-term life! Coaxing is not cheating, although coaxing and cheating are often linked together and called coaxing. But there is still a difference between coaxing and cheating. Men coax women, in fact, it is almost the same as adults coax children. Smart men know the weakness of women and the truth that women are easy to coax. They often treat a woman like a child with a mouth. Women just always need compliments, your kind words and your exaggerated appreciation. Apply a long sentence of mine! The most humorous short message encyclopedia that can amuse girls
The most humorous short message encyclopedia that can amuse girls
1. As the forest area is decreasing, lions stipulate that each animal can only have one house. Soon, the rabbit was arrested because of the "three caves of cunning rabbits" The bee knew it, thought about it, and went home and committed suicide. . .
2. Making money is the "father" and spending money is the "son". "Laozi" is tired of making money, and "son" is not guilty of spending money. "Laozi" gets up early and suffers from greed, while "son" spends his money smartly. I hope you will spend properly and don't hold me back.
3. When are the spring flowers and the autumn moon? I know how hard it is to make money. Last night, the supermarket went shopping again, and the interest in spending money should still be there. It's just that Zhu Yan changed. What is the geometry of saving money? It's just a moonlight shining. May you spend reasonably and accumulate Jinbei.
4. A man who doesn't care about women should find a woman he is satisfied with: 1. He doesn't care about being a virgin. Second, I don't care if I have children. Third, I don't care if I can do housework. Fourth, I don't care if I am long and beautiful. 5. I don't care if I was a woman before. .
5. "Dad, shall we go to the circus?" "I don't have time." "Listen to the children, there is a naked aunt dancing on the tiger." "Well, I haven't seen a tiger for a long time."
6. A friend whose husband is a lawyer specializes in divorce litigation.
7. Friend: "Husband, don't fight divorce lawsuits in the future. It's a bit immoral to break up other families."
8. Husband: "Split a pair and make two pairs, accumulate virtue and do good deeds."
9. I got to know you by chance, paid attention to you when I met you twice, dated you three times and four times, and missed you from top to bottom. Ninety percent of me should like you, and I am quite sure that I love you. It takes a hundred years to meet true love, and a thousand years to fulfill you and me. Are you willing to do everything?
1. To tell you a secret, please look at the back first, then at the left, then at the right. Ok, please don't look around with your mobile phone!
11. Urgent reminder: There may be tornado weather recently, so be sure to take two 1-kilogram dumbbells with you when you go out to avoid being swept to the west by the strong wind. Those who weigh less than 5 kilograms must be doubled.
12. I was driving to work with my buddy, and I met the police at the intersection. Because I didn't wear my seat belt, I was called by the police. The police said that I would be fined 5 for not wearing my seat belt. When my buddy heard that I would be fined, he explained to the police: Sorry, Comrade, I forgot to wear my seat belt after drinking some wine at noon. . .
13. pS: It's six o'clock in the morning! Stop writing! Stop writing! Too sleepy! In fact, women should be coaxed, but not spoiled-this is the experience accumulated by men from long-term life! Coaxing is not cheating, although coaxing and cheating are often linked together and called coaxing. But there is still a difference between coaxing and cheating. Men coax women, in fact, it is almost the same as adults coax children. Smart men know the weakness of women and the truth that "women are easy to coax". They often treat a woman like a child with a mouth. Women always need compliments, your kind words and your exaggerated appreciation. Apply a long sentence of mine! Several humorous personality signatures that can make girls happy most
Several humorous personality signatures that can make girls happy most
1. M: Miss, you are as beautiful as a flower. Woman: Thank you. Man: Miss, you are as gentle as the moon. Woman: Thank you. Man: Miss, you are as pure as holy water. Woman: Thank you. Man: Miss, can you marry me? Woman: You are as wordy as my husband!
2. If you grow 1cm, you will change the iphone 4s to the iphone 5. You should be glad that your girlfriend doesn't have the same idea.
3. Son: Dad, tell me a story. Dad: OK. Once upon a time, there was a frog. Son: No, I want to listen to historical stories. Dad: OK. In the Song Dynasty, there was a frog.
4. Crime of fraud: The law department of a university took a criminal law exam one day. The first question the professor asked the students was: What is the crime of fraud? The student replied, if you don't let me pass the exam, you will commit fraud. The professor was very surprised: how to explain it? Students say: According to the criminal law, anyone who makes use of others' ignorance to make them suffer losses commits fraud
5. Humorous quotations from the old saying: 1. 2, the mountain is never too high, the water is never too deep, and the money is never too much. 3. I have a long career in Xiu Yuan, so I will go up and down. 4, the crowd looked for her thousands of Baidu, suddenly looking back, that person is at the luxury car. 5, the son is in Sichuan: pollution is so bad! 6, well water does not invade the river, and the river pollutes the well water. 7. Who is the hero of the world? No! Lao Tzu is the number one.
6. The child is thinking about heredity and environment. Mother interjected: this question is very simple. Everyone knows that if a child resembles his father, it is hereditary. Like neighbors, that's the environment.
7. A: My wife and I had a big fight last night, and she threw all the dishes out of the balcony on the seventh floor. As a result ... B: What was the result? A: The building where I live this morning is surrounded by a group of scientists who specialize in flying saucers.
In the mid-198s and 199s, my family bought a new TV set, 21 inches, which was several times larger than the previous 14 inches. Watching big TV, the whole family is of course very happy, especially grandma. I remember that she asked my dad: Should those two broadcasters be able to watch the whole body in this news broadcast?
9. Wolf cubs are vegetarian from birth. Wolf mother and father racked their brains to train wolf cubs to hunt. Finally, Sirius's parents and mother were pleased to see their son chasing rabbits. The wolf cub caught the rabbit's fierce face and said, boy! Hand over the carrots!
1. My husband took an orchid bowl and said to his wife very solemnly: Don't break the bowl again. This bowl was left by your mother. Now there are only two left, and you have broken the others. The wife gave her husband a white look and said, then you are not allowed to be angry with me in the future. I was also left by my mother, leaving only me.
11. Help the old man when he falls. Master Kangxi said: You are one of us. If you see someone fall, go and help them! If he misrepresents you, don't be afraid. Laojiu will buy you off, Old Eight will defend you, and Thirteen will give you courage. If you lose the case, it doesn't matter. Old Ten and Fourteen will help you beat him. If it's no good, Old Four will copy their house.
12. When you wake up tomorrow, there is a mosquito lying next to your pillow, and there is a suicide note beside you, which says: I struggled all night, but I couldn't pierce your face. Your face is so thick that I have no face to live in this world! Lord ~ forgive him! I committed suicide.
13. Listen, people with mobile phones: You have been chased by happiness, chased by good luck, watched by wealth, attacked by health, successfully attacked by sneak attack, and targeted by happiness. Please immediately put down your worry weapon and stress bomb on your body, and give up immediately!
14. Once upon a time, there were two people, one named Zhuang and the other named Xiao. One day Xiao disappeared. Zhuang happened to see a group of people fighting, so he went to pull and said, I'll find Xiao! The gang paused and said, Are you faking it? Yes, I am!
15. Do you have a TV? Now, look quickly. CCTV 1 Zhao Benshan was killed, pol.ice blocked the northeast, 19 people were killed, 11 people were missing, and 1 person was fooled!
16. On his girlfriend's birthday, Shuaiguo spent a lot of money to buy a QQ number and sent it to his girlfriend. The number is 131452, which means I love you all my life. After I bought it, I couldn't log in at all, prompting that the password was wrong. Handsome guy takes a closer look and it turns out that the number is 131425.
17. Silent thoughts are deep. Silent blessings are the truest. Silent thoughts are inseparable. Silent concerns are always in my heart. Silently waiting to meet you. Silently I miss you too deeply, too deeply ... humorous sentences that make girls happy
First, the process of changing love objects: after changing into a beautiful woman, I find that my looks are not worthy; After changing into a rich girl, I found that consumption was not worthy; After changing into an official daughter, I found that my status was not worthy; After changing into a girl, I found that my posture was wrong; After changing into a lady, I found that I felt wrong; After changing into a slut, I found that the hat was the wrong color. There is no perfect love in the world, it is more realistic to be romantic! I wish love happiness.
second, you = eat+sleep+miss me; Pig = eat+sleep. Substitute the above formula: you = pig+miss me. Transposition: you-miss me = pig. Conclusion: If you don't miss me, you are a pig! Do you say you miss me now?
3. Oh, my God, with modern civilization, you can make money by making a fool of yourself, and it's not illegal. Otherwise, your ugly face will be sentenced to life, and if you have to be sentenced, the sentence will be 1 thousand years, but you like it, and you will often visit the prison!
on the fourth and first day of computer class, a row of classmates' computers crashed. So a classmate stood up and said, Teacher, the computer crashed, and all our platoon died. At this time, many students said: We also died. Then the teacher asked: Who else is not dead? Only one classmate stood up: I'm not dead yet! The teacher said strangely, the whole class is dead. Why don't you die?
five, seven years after graduation, I finally took on a big project to build a 3-meter chimney. The construction period was two months, and the cost was 3, yuan, but it needed to be funded. It was finally finished at the end of last year. Today, people went to check and accept, and they were scolded to death, and they still had no money. Shit! The drawings are upside down, and people are going to dig a well!
6. Don't ask me how much I love you. Run to the hot sun to bask in the sun. The sun represents my feelings. Don't ask me how long I have loved you. Look up at the lonely starry sky. The moon represents my heart!
7. Travel. There is a temple in the scenic spot, so I stopped by to play in the temple. When I bought the ticket, I asked if there were any student tickets. As a result, the conductor's answer was super classic. He said: All beings are equal before the Buddha, and there is no student ticket!
8. Weather forecast: RMB will be deposited in your house from morning till night tomorrow, and some gold bars will be deposited. At noon, US dollars will be poured into euros, accompanied by sporadic checks! The weather bureau informs you to put on your helmet, take your hemp belt and get ready to make a fortune!
9. After the bell rang, the teacher came into the classroom. He dipped his hand in saliva, opened the textbook with a thud, cleared his throat and said, Boys and girls, today we are going to talk about the first lesson "Hygiene from an early age". Please open your books. As a result, the children look at me, I look at you, and then one by one, put their fingers in their mouths and open the books. Make girls happy
1. Always let people taste the charm of waiting, and the space makes people feel worried about the beauty. Many times, the blessings between people don't need words to express, just as you quietly read the message I sent you at the moment < P > XI. The mother once again called her son to get up: Jacques, good boy, it's time to get up. You have heard the rooster crow several times. What does it have to do with me? I'm not a hen
12. Why do you look so old-fashioned? Man: If you like RMB, do you still care what year it was issued? Secretary: Boss, your wife called. She said she would kiss you on the phone. Boss: Take it for me first, and then give it to me later.
XIII. A leader's speech with a strong dialect: Rabbits and shrimps, pickles are too expensive, not ginger melons, but pig's feet (comrades, villagers, don't talk now, pay attention).
14th, the monitor asked: Who is the biggest officer in our platoon? A: It's a platoon leader. The monitor asked again: Who is under the teacher? The recruit answered: It was the horse that the teacher rode.
15. My husband took an orchid bowl and said to his wife very solemnly: Don't break the bowl again. This bowl was left by your mother. Now there are only two left, and you have broken the others. The wife gave her husband a white look and said, then you are not allowed to be angry with me in the future. I was also left by my mother, leaving only me.
Sixteen, someone rides a bike to the street, crosses an intersection, and scatters the handle. The traffic police saw it and exclaimed: Good palms! Someone waved happily and answered: comrades have worked hard!
XVII. A drunk accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by to watch. A policeman came over: What happened? Drunk: I don't know. I just got here, too.