The secret of keeping marriage fresh: refuse internal friction

1 Lose the desire to share

Will your partner talk nonsense to you? After getting married in the comment area, he seems to be dumb. His answer is always "good" and there is a comment with the highest praise: "I share my joys and sorrows with my husband every day, but my husband has no reaction after listening to it. Don't care about my feelings at all, and ask me not to gossip about Silas. My happiness is not shared, and my sadness is not understood. Now I don't even want to share my feelings with him. It's so boring.

Liu Zhenyun said that the loneliness of a person looking for another person in a word is not loneliness, but real loneliness. Losing the desire to share is the beginning of the end. You must have had such an experience in your life. When you share your joy with each other, what you didn't expect was a cold "Oh".

2 internal friction in marriage

When you put on your newly bought skirt, you show it to your husband, and the other person says "fine" in a perfunctory way without raising his head. When you feel wronged and want to talk to him to relieve the pressure, he says impatiently, "Who has no pressure?" Just like Cherrie Ying and Jordan chan, when they were recording programs, every time Cherrie Ying and Jordan chan talked, Jordan chan's answer was three words: Oh, hello, Qin. When you talk to me, can you stop saying modal particles?

Some netizens have done a survey, and 8% of couples break up because they have lost the desire to share. When a person no longer listens to you, you would rather chat with strangers for a long time, and you will not share it with close people, and your feelings will fade. It's not that many people don't love each other, but that they lack the desire to share things with each other, and they don't care what the other person has experienced, so naturally they have no passion to be together.

3 Find someone to talk to

Happiness is just finding someone to talk to. Yang Jiang and Qian Zhongshu are a typical case. Yang Jiang once described the scene of two people "talking nonsense" in the book. "What do you want if you are given a magic weapon of the fairy family?" We all want invisibility cloaks, one for each, and go out for an invitation. "When you have a good time, you can't help but be naughty and disturb people. You can't hide, so you have to run away. "oh, there must be a method of shrinking the land, and a method of protecting the body."

This conversation seems to be two naive children chatting. "Usually we go out for a walk, and I just love to talk nonsense. Yang Jiang also said in the book: I talk a lot of nonsense." Qian Zhongshu didn't feel bored. Instead, he recorded Yang Jiang's nonsense and took it out all the time. Happy love must be one who loves to talk and one who is willing to listen.

Nietzsche said, "Marriage life is like a long-term dialogue. When you want to enter marriage life, you must first ask yourself, can you still talk and laugh with this woman when you grow old together?" Because in every sentence, there is trust, love and peace of mind hidden in you.

4 Find your place

Sometimes I have nothing to say to you, but I still want to live with you. There is a classic dialogue in the movie Perfect Stranger. "How do you know if you are in love with her? If you talk to her for 3 minutes every day, you are in love with her. What if it takes 6 minutes? " Then I love her to death. After that, you don't talk much, which means that when you get married, love will fade one day, but it won't disappear. It has always been there, just in another way.

Just like the love of my grandparents' generation, there was no mobile phone, WeChat and social software at all, and we basically had to communicate by writing letters. In fact, when they don't talk, many people will choose to let go once their feelings are cracked, but they don't know that happiness is managed by running-in and patience. In fact, no matter how much you love each other, you will get tired of each other one day. How can you maintain your relationship?

5 Only with a good attitude can you have a good marriage

Keep a sense of ceremony in the tea, rice, oil and salt: remember each other's birthdays and prepare some small surprises for various anniversaries. Learn to tease each other like an idol drama: occasionally coquetry, cuddle, and seek comfort. Send messages to each other from time to time every day: what to eat, what to see, how to feel, nonsense. Keep an appropriate distance and give each other private space: don't expect too much from your partner, don't always ask him to be on call, and give him corresponding freedom.

cultivate more * * * languages: learn more about your partner's hobbies, what kind of movies you like to watch, whose songs you like to listen to, etc., and learn to appreciate and praise each other: praise each other's delicious food, and today is a little special. You are great. Marriage is not full of surprises every day, it is just a dull and repeated day. The best marriage is nothing more than: "even if I have nothing to say to you sometimes, I just want to spend my days with you."